Why I Don't Mod Anymore

[Lady Elanore]

Many years ago I had a Clio 16V (the original one) and after I had junked the cat and put a SS Scorpion exhaust on it (well a nice man did that bit……it’s a pig to do apparently)I went to BBR Starchips to have a tweaked chip done. Another nice man resoldered it into my car (how things have changed) and I sped off down the road…………………until the little needle got to about 4,000, then………………….. TALK ABOUT PINKING!!!!!! I thought the engine was going to go do a Hindenburgh on me. What a noise.

I went to a very very nice man with a RR and he said he was amazed my engine wasn’t running backwards as there was so much advance in it. So I took it back to the former nice BBR man. Ah, said the wise but still reasonably nice man, that’ll be your funny exhaust. No I said, that’ll be your not quite as amusing chip. So after the moderately pleasant man and myself parted company, off I limped and bought another exhaust system (the old one was cut off……long story). I then put the cat back on and off I trotted down the road….until the little needle hit 4,000…………TALK AGAIN ABOUT PINKING!!

When I called on the mildly terse man, he said it was that the chip was ‘too advanced for the car’, I told him my ECU was ‘state of the art mate’, but he looked at me like I was an idiot. He then resoldered a slightly retarded chip in (I noticed this wasn’t the only retarded thing he had in his garage), and off I limped down the road, until the little needle hit 4,500 and then……….HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY PINKING!!.

On my next visit to the Grumpy man, he said my car was rubbish and he would put the original chip back in, except it wasn’t the original one, it was one that looked like it. I waved goodbye to the nasty man (and my money, BBR wouldn’t refund me) and ambled down the road until……..I REALISED MY CAR WAS NOW BACK TO BLOODY STANDARD!!

So I still have a spare Clio 16V Scorpion exhaust n my garage if anyone wants one and I stopped messing with cars for a few years.

It’s sort of on topic and I feel a lot better now I have gotton that off my chest.

[Hedge]

Lady E I hope your chest is much better for all that.

Had the nice man (possibly called Roy Rogers) also soldered a chip into the horse that was his company car.

[Lady Elanore]

Originally Posted by Hedge

Lady E I hope your chest is much better for all that.

Had the nice man (possibly called Roy Rogers) also soldered a chip into the horse that was his company car.

Only if it was a Ford Mustang (sorry) or possibly a Hyundai Lemming

[ScoobyChris]

Your tale certainly brightened up a Monday morning! Bizarrely I've never had a bad modding experience (aside from the cost of "shiny bits (tm)"), although I have since discovered it's actually cheaper just to buy a fast car in the first place!

Chris

[TaviaRS]

I've never modified a car for exactly those reasons - it's a mugs game.



























OK, I lied

[ScoobyChris]

Plus I'd also be in danger of creating a car that far exceeded my poor driving ability Heck, standard cars are problem enough!

Chris

[faboka vrs]

Comical reading for a monday morning. Shame the rest of my day wont be like that.

[ZootyRS]

Thank you for making me lol

[Schern]

Have you ever fallen off a horse? One bad experience shouldn't stop you doing something. You should just choose more reputable companies.

[Lady Elanore]

You want bad modding stories! Good grief where do I begin? The numptys with a scaff tube, my Strada 130TCs hub nuts and a blow torch? The ‘mate’ with a welding torch and the only key for my Lancia? The fire that broke out behind my Scooby dash?

Anyhoo I gotta go as I’m getting my Dension Gateway 400 this afternoon.

[ScoobyChris]

Originally Posted by Lady Elanore

Anyhoo I gotta go as I’m getting my Dension Gateway 400 this afternoon.

Will your 'mate' be fitting this too?

Chris

[TaviaRS]

Originally Posted by ScoobyChris

Will your 'mate' be fitting this too?

Chris

Angle grinder? Check!
Blow torch? Check!
MIG welder? Check!
Lump hammer? Check!
Breaker bar? Check!
Lucky rabbit's foot? LOST!

Looks like you are FUBAR then

HTH

[Basil]

It helps to really get into modding-knowledgewise - so that no-one can pull a fast one over you. Unfortunately it takes time and money to make mistakes in order to learn.
Also most garage people who happen to be slime assume a lady is easy to cheat - not PC but a fact.

[Lady Elanore]

Originally Posted by Basil

It helps to really get into modding-knowledgewise - so that no-one can pull a fast one over you. Unfortunately it takes time and money to make mistakes in order to learn.
Also most garage people who happen to be slime assume a lady is easy to cheat - not PC but a fact.

Any tuner trying to put one over me would end up in a fight! I have a reasonable idea how the infernal combustion engine works, inc rotarys.

On the subject of moding, it seems to me that people don’t really mod as heavily in the engine department as in my youth. It’s so easy to change induction and exhaust components and the ubiquitous re-map is so easy and cheap to do, as well as liberating big gains in Turbo cars. My Strada Abarth 130TC had

K & Ns
Upjetted 2 x twin 40s (later the jets where bored out to give even more fueling-45s made the car too undrivable)
Alquatti cams
Head flowed and ported
Exhaust changed to Ansa
New digital ignition
Adjusable dampers and upspecced springs (can’t remember which make)
And the pads and shoes changed to a more sporting brand.

Total cost=thousands, total gain=25bhp

Don’t even mention the new g/box which cost more than the car was worth.

I obviously don’t include cars like the mongrel in this, but way back when, everone would have gone through the process I did when tuning their car, it just cost a lot more if your car wasn’t Ford, BL or Vauxhall.

[RobClubley]

Young 'uns these days have it so easy

[Lady Elanore]

Originally Posted by RobClubley

Young 'uns these days have it so easy

You said it dad