Annoying things that passengers say

[Redboy]

In the late 1980's taking a non- driver colleague from Portsmouth RN base to a RAF camp near Peterborough as a favour on a Friday afternoon, 20 mins into the journey.

 

Passenger-" Can we go back to Portsmouth , I've left my room keys"

Me- "No, there'll be a spare set at our base's guardroom."

 

Another 30 mins later.

 

Passenger -"Your choice of music is rubbish"

Me (slowing rapidly in the inner lane of the dualled road) " Do you want to hitch a lift? If not shut the f&*k up"

 

Unsurprisingly the rest of journey went smoothly and the music was great.....accirding to me 

[OldTrilobite]

On 18/10/2017 at 11:29, S00perb said:

"Turn left" - when she means right

I don't know why left/right confusion is so much commoner in females than in males, but it is. I once had a first-class research lab assistant and if I said "turn the left one down a bit", or "press harder on the right side please" she would first look at her hands to see which one had the wedding ring. She then knew that was her left hand. Otherwise she was super-intelligent: Oxford graduate who usually finished The Times crossword during her lunch break.

[OldTrilobite]

5 hours ago, skomaz said:

The one I like is from my kids when in the MX5...   "Go faster Daddy!"...   although it's not really annoying until I start getting points!

Kids, in the plural?  Do you carry more than one passenger in your MX5?  I suppose, if they are small enough, you could get one or two into the boot.

[Robjon]

"Can we pop into xxx store on the way?"

 

Only to discover xxx store is actually 10 miles out of the way.

[OldTrilobite]

2 hours ago, CWARD said:

After having my brother in the car last night it has to be "excuse me" after he had farted. I should have just dumped him at the side the road.

 

You need an MX5 for him. With the top down!

[Guest]

"Why does the interior of your car smell of chlorofor.........."

[CWARD]

23 minutes ago, OldTrilobite said:

 

You need an MX5 for him. With the top down!

 

I was thinking more of a roof rack with a chair strapped to it

[mac11irl]

3 hours ago, OldTrilobite said:

I don't know why left/right confusion is so much commoner in females than in males, but it is. I once had a first-class research lab assistant and if I said "turn the left one down a bit", or "press harder on the right side please" she would first look at her hands to see which one had the wedding ring. She then knew that was her left hand. Otherwise she was super-intelligent: Oxford graduate who usually finished The Times crossword during her lunch break.

One of the women in my work has a 17yr old daughter who still holds her hands up, thumbs extended to check "which one makes an "L" for Left"

 

And on Satnav, when it got us lost going to my sisters wedding..

 

"I dont know why you just didnt write down the directions from google map yesterday when you checked how long the journey was going to take.."

 

[skomaz]

3 hours ago, OldTrilobite said:

Kids, in the plural?  Do you carry more than one passenger in your MX5?  I suppose, if they are small enough, you could get one or two into the boot.

 

lik it!!!   but no only one at a time...   although they do sometimes fight over who goes with me in it...

[skomaz]

6 hours ago, MickA said:

 

Kids (grandkids) don't get near my MX-5  they try and break things off my other car as it is.

 

mine are well trained...   they know better than to damage my pride and joy as they know the trouble they'll be in if they do.

 

my wife once got 1st instead of reverse in it and put it in a hedge...   she was distraught trying to tell me what she'd done even though there was no real damage!

[skomaz]

ooh...   forgot another one...   'can you drive a bit more smoothly'  from the person who only knows two positions for throttle and brake...   full on or full off!

[Aspman]

17 hours ago, CWARD said:

After having my brother in the car last night it has to be "excuse me" after he had farted. I should have just dumped him at the side the road.

 

Were you travelling through -

 

[S00perb]

20 hours ago, OldTrilobite said:

I don't know why left/right confusion is so much commoner in females than in males, but it is. I once had a first-class research lab assistant and if I said "turn the left one down a bit", or "press harder on the right side please" she would first look at her hands to see which one had the wedding ring. She then knew that was her left hand. Otherwise she was super-intelligent: Oxford graduate who usually finished The Times crossword during her lunch break.

 

Some people think in pictures, some is words.

People who think in words find it harder to tell left from right

More women think in words - I have known a few women that do the ring trick

 

When we are abroad I know for sure that my map reader means left when she says right - every single time!

 

[S00perb]

 

 

You don't mind if I smoke do you?........

[mac11irl]

2 hours ago, S00perb said:

 

 

You don't mind if I smoke do you?........

 

Outside the car? Work away..

Ask while driving? Start prepping while driving?  Ejector system.. activated, jettisonning passenger in 3.. 2.. 1..

[punyXpress]

From Redboy:

" In the late 1980's taking a non- driver colleague from Portsmouth RN base to a RAF camp near Peterborough as a favour on a Friday afternoon, 20 mins into the journey.

 

Passenger-" Can we go back to Portsmouth , I've left my room keys"

Me- "No, there'll be a spare set at our base's guardroom." "

 

Used to be a regular Services bus on that route in the middle of the night.

In mid '60s after a sleepless weekend was doing that  journey in return, from P'boro to Esher on Portsmouth road when a matelot type thumbed a lift. Said where I was headed and that he'd be OK from Esher because we should get there before the bus ( and I could do with company to keep awake )

Within 20 seconds of moving off he was fast asleep !

[KenONeill]

On 10/20/2017 at 15:10, S00perb said:

 

 

You don't mind if I smoke do you?........

Addams Family visual of Morticia smoking!

[P6bJOHN]

"Take the next left, right"

"Eh?"

"The next left, right"

"Left, right, or left then right?"

" I SAID LEFT, RIGHT?"

 

It takes a while to understand a navigator who randomly ends sentences with "right" as in, "you understood that last instruction, right?"

Edited 24 October, 2017 by P6bJOHN

[Tilt]

........................why did that camera take a picture of our car dad........

[mac11irl]

I notice alot of these posts relate to our respective swmbo's being the passenger in question..

[CWARD]

1 hour ago, mac11irl said:

I notice alot of these posts relate to our respective swmbo's being the passenger in question..

 

I’m usually too scared to speak when I’m the passenger and the wife is driving. If am able to speak it is usually after I’ve found my religion again and I’m busy praying

[Guest]

"Is the policeman talking to you now one of the ones you always complain about being  sat on his fat @rse drinking coffee parked up on motorway  laybys, instead of being out there catching real criminals?"