Hi all, I finally sorted it. Everything was correct on the car, had the correct coding and had selected premium, but it would never connect rsap, it would always connect through hfp.
So my problem was i had my work email on my phone, so it was the device administrator and blocking any 3rd party access my phone.
so I removed the device administrator and cleared the credentials in the security options and rebooted the phone and happy days wifi now appears.
I was started to think I had a dud unit, i'm so glad this is sorted now.
Thanks to everyone for the help, I really appreciate it.