Whilst waiting in the mums and toddler space at Sainsburys in Scarborough today, I had the privilege of watching a state of the art hand car wash take place on the car next to me.

It was a fairly new 3 series BMW in a lovely metallic blue. I was amazed at the sight I witnessed and thought you all might use the same system to clean your own pride and joys.

The process is as follows.

1. Spray some sort of chemical onto one random part of the wheel, about one tenth of the bodywork below the waistline of the car and wander off to talk to your mate for five minutes.

2. Using the dirty black water from the previous car’s wheel wash, wipe the lower half of the car all round. Make sure that you wipe the alloys and the bodywork with the same cloth and under no circumstances rinse it out at any point. Ensure that all the brake dust is applied to the paintwork in an even manner.

3. Empty the bucket of very black water over the paintwork to the rear of the car and refill using about two litres of water from the trolley.

4. Take a standard sponge and proceed to wipe the rest of the car all over using no cleaning agents. Try leaning on the bonnet as much as possible to reach parts of the bodywork you could reach by simply walking round the car.

5. Using a very dirty microfibre cloth, dry the car off, including the wheels ensuring the cloth is pushed in between the spokes to collect even more brake dust.

6. Sparingly spray a polish product onto a small area of paintwork. Using the cloth you just used to clean the wheels and brake callipers, spread the polish over the whole car, buff to a smeary shine and with a big smile charge the daft bloke £5 for the service.

The day before, my wife saw the same lady climb onto the bonnet of a 4x4 to get to the roof. I even saw her drop the cloth she was using on a Merc into a dirty puddle, pick it up and carry on wiping the bonnet of the car whilst talking to the bloke who owned the BMW. He didn’t think to walk away.

Amazing. :S

....And people begrudge paying proper valeters £10 to clean your car and would rather pay for some foreign (probably illegal) immigrant to scratch your car and strip off any protection that may be on there.

I thought about taking redundancy at work and start up a detailing business but people want pay for quality and would rather get ripped off somewhere else, much like people who would rather take their computer to PC World rather than have me look at it and do a better job for half the price. :no:

Then there's the people who think rain washes their car

I paid for someone to wash my car, don't know what they used but they didn't clean a bit of their soap stuff off the car and it ruined the paint work. I just wash it myself now......although the op is usually how i wash my car lol j.k

x

I paid for someone to wash my car, don't know what they used but they didn't clean a bit of their soap stuff off the car and it ruined the paint work. I just wash it myself now......although the op is usually how i wash my car lol j.k

x

The only way.

If a job's worth doing, do it yourself if possible.

Wouldn't let any of the local car wash gorillas's around here anywhere near my car, let alone pay them! :no:

Then there's the people who think rain washes their car

Gets the worst off mine!!

And when it is really bad (like after a rally) it gets the petrol station jet wash.

people want pay for quality and would rather get ripped off somewhere else

This = completely true. And speaking from experience as a self employed web developer and consultant it really pains me seeing all the people who get ripped off daily because they either won't pay for a quality service or they get fobbed off with complete lies from a monkey who doesn't know their arse from their elbow.

But back to the car washing though, it makes me feel sick, I probably would have had to go and say something to he idiot cleaning the car.

....And people begrudge paying proper valeters £10 to clean your car and would rather pay for some foreign (probably illegal) immigrant to scratch your car and strip off any protection that may be on there.

I thought about taking redundancy at work and start up a detailing business but people want pay for quality and would rather get ripped off somewhere else, much like people who would rather take their computer to PC World rather than have me look at it and do a better job for half the price. :no:

Always have been tempted to get a HM Revenue & Customs sticker for the window and see how many of these car park car washers approach the car and then vanish.

Alas people as has been said are too quick to rate something purely on cost (ie go for the cheapest). Things like car detailing are not really understood by many and as the majority of people just do a quick wash with some dodgey car shampoo (or god forbid washing up liquid!!!) then maybe run a hover round the seats and carpets so probably don't think anything more than £5 to £10 is good value.

Personally I find it quite theraputic so do it myself (am also a tight git)

Always have been tempted to get a HM Revenue & Customs sticker for the window and see how many of these car park car washers approach the car and then vanish. .

Personally I find it quite theraputic so do it myself (am also a tight git)

One of the garages I visit in the course of my job was talking about the hand car wash next door, and how they were raided bt HM Border Control Officers a few months ago.

He was laughing when he told me how he'd never seen so many Eusain Bolts vanishing in every possible direction, dirty chamois leathers flailing behind them.

(Not really funny in the wider scheme of things, granted)

Agree with your final point 100% too btw

Edited 21 November, 201114 yr by Mr Ree

One of the garages I visit in the course of my job was talking about the hand car wash next door, and how they were raided bt HM Border Control Officers a few months ago.

He was laughing when he told me how he'd never seen so many Eusain Bolts vanishing in every possible direction, dirty chamois leathers flailing behind them.

(Not really funny in the wider scheme of things, granted)

Agree with your final point 100% too btw

A friend of mine got caught a while ago picking up a takeaway curry when the place got raided, she was stuck there for ages while the checked everyone, didn't even get her curry in the end either.

A friend of mine got caught a while ago picking up a takeaway curry when the place got raided, she was stuck there for ages while the checked everyone, didn't even get her curry in the end either.

Now THAT is by far the worst bit.

When you get curry desire fever, you've GOT to have one...NOW!

I've used them in the past. The local one to me is really friendly, and does quite a good job; all for under a £5. They were even open last December when it was snowing. If you own a car and don't care massively about cleaning it (and that is the majority of the people) then they make perfect sense.

I got a funny look at the VW dealer when the TFSI went in for an MOT and I turned down the free wash.

I'd rather it stayed dirty then let some muppet near it with a gritty sponge.

I'd rather it stayed dirty then let some muppet near it with a gritty sponge.

http://www.detailingworld.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=144741

I've used them in the past. The local one to me is really friendly, and does quite a good job; all for under a £5. They were even open last December when it was snowing. If you own a car and don't care massively about cleaning it (and that is the majority of the people) then they make perfect sense.

Fair point, there are more than likely a few good ones out there making an honest living and providing a worthwhile service to those not interested in doing it themselves. My point though was more about people's disinterest in looking at the level and quality of service offered, which is not just about these car park car washes but can be applied to nearly everything.

I would continue the rant but it will get seriously off the original topic, may have to start a new one.

Oh quite. But on the other hand as most people see a car as a tool, they only wash it so they don't get their hands dirty closing the boot so will be willing only to spend the bare minimum. Mind you, I was always quite satisfied with the £5 wash from my local place. Even did all the door shut lines, though I have to admit the water wasn't often changed.

What gets me is that a lot of the people who use this 'service'

are usually also the first to complain about these

'foreigners coming over here etc etc'

Do they not see that they are encouraging them?

I wouldn't let one of these places wash my van, never mind my cars.

I got a funny look at the VW dealer when the TFSI went in for an MOT and I turned down the free wash.

I'd rather it stayed dirty then let some muppet near it with a gritty sponge.

+1, I once had the courtesy wash after a service, luckily when I approached the car I noticed lots of parallel scratches across the bonnet and wing.

Went back in and the customer services manager admitted it must have been the plastic blades they use to dry the car with.

Had to wait another 30 minutes whilst they polished out the scratches!

I owned a car wash a few yrs ago and provided an excellent service, spray on foam system (no buckets of dirty water) sponges rinsed between cars, half sponges for wheels, no jewellery or zippers on staff... Handfull of mishaps over the yrs, all dealt with in a courteous, friendly and professional manner, all stayed loyal customers... Sold the business off but still visit weekly and clean the car myself.