Phew, that was close.

In the torrential horizontal rain and gales, flooded roads like rivers, and the need to get to where I needed to get to in a bit of a hurry, downhill, round a bit of a right-hander, in the gloaming (Scottish vernacular - go look it up), I met an unlit tractor proceeding much too quickly UPHILL.

Thinking "Armageddon" (not the gerbil, nor 'felching', go look it up) I faced a doom worse than, well, failing to buy my new Superb because my Yeti had been flattened by a collision with a tractor from the dark side, in the gloaming (go research it), I reckoned I ought to try to avoid contact of any sort. After all, he was plastered in the stuff he'd been spreading in the fields, and it would contaminate my nostrils for ages.

So I trod on the brakes. Then I trod harder. And harder - and then the great god of stoppages kicked in (no, not liquid paraffin), and my soon-to-be-part-exchanged Yeti stopped on a sixpence (ancient coin of the realm - go look it up) and saved us all, with nary a skid (apart from in my bum-phugs, that is).

And seriously, the Brake Assist or whatever the heck it is called in the brochure/handbook, is nothing short of miraculously brilliant. Just brilliant.

And because of it I am able to be here to bore you to tears with my latest tale!

You're not boring us Freshacre.

We're just glad you're still with us to apprise (go, look it up) the tale.

Nothing involving Gerbils getting lost and trying to be found with a naked light then?

Ian

Nothing involving Gerbils getting lost and trying to be found with a naked light then?

Ian

You've been Googling!

Who's a clever Briskodian, then?

The rest of you - go search!!

I suspect that if a gerbil was lodged 'there' (do not look up it) then no amount of liquid paraffin would help!

Edit: this thread is just crying out for Canine Robert to pay it a visit.....

Edit: this thread is just crying out for Canine Robert to pay it a visit.....

I think he is trying to do himself an injury with 2 bits of wood strapped to his boots in some snow covered land at the moment

No Googling, Freshacre, I remember hearing about that episode on American TV and listening to it, I never laughed so much and those poor newsreaders!!

No Googling, Freshacre, I remember hearing about that episode on American TV and listening to it, I never laughed so much and those poor newsreaders!!

Glad someone knows wtf I am on about!! Well done!

No Googling, Freshacre, I remember hearing about that episode on American TV and listening to it, I never laughed so much and those poor newsreaders!!

Ok? What are you guys on about. I'm in Australia.

Happy Days.

Ok? What are you guys on about. I'm in Australia.

Happy Days.

so?

go google!!

Hint! "gerbil" "Felching" "Naked light" and so on. But especially "Armageddon"!!!!!!

The Superb comes with brake assist as well ....not had the opportunity to try it yet ....thankfully