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Warning Light City Octavia II 1.9TDi Ambiente 57 plate

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Help!!!!

 

My 57 reg Octy II 1.9TDi Ambiente has decided to sit the end of 2013 out, refusing as it is to start. It turns over, fires, revs once then shuts itself off to the accompaniment of multifarious warning lights (handbrake, steering, oil) - and I can't escape the inescapable conclusion that it's going to be a) the immobiliser and therefore B) bloody expensive. 

 

Can anyone help meeeeeeee???!?!??!?!?!!??

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