theandywaite

Getting the late train home and the guard just said over the loudspeaker ?welcome aboard this Derwent Valley line service to Matlock, stopping at every hole-in-the-hedge and due into Matlock at 10:52?. Hole in the hedge? How dare he!

Why are tents only made for midgets? I know I'm probably taller than average, but I don't class myself as exceptionally tall. All the tents I've looked at so far, if I lie down in them, my head touches one side and my feet are pressing against the other!

just did a lap of the Top Gear test track in a reasonably priced Kia C'eed

thinks it smells like Christmas tonight

My name is Andrew and I am a Forza addict.

has a ****-poor attempt at a moustache. I think a 'Magnum PI' by the end of November was ambitious...

likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain

This is the second time I've had to obtain entry clearance to the USA, but this question on the application form still amuses me: "Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or in terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?"

is about to go to bed for the last time in the Bellagio

doesn't enjoy your face

Just installed my new SSD, it's fantastic!

is finally getting a remap.

has just found out he is definately going to Las Vegas and staying in the Bellagio!

I don't even like Come Dine with Me that much, but if I watch just 5 minutes of it, I can't tear myself away from it until I see which weirdo stereotype wins the

I really wish I could just walk away from my XBox. I love it too much. Does anyone else have such issues?

welcome to American Airlines. Today's special offer: every customer receives a FREE interrogation!

loves one direction. And that direction is north west.

has arrived in Las Vegas, minus a show stand

is eating croutons for breakfast

ich mag den buttrigen biskuitboden

What a brilliant weekend: a fantastic night out in Sheffield, a meal out with great friends at The Bear, a lottery win and a trip out to the touring cars!

FREE to anyone who wants them - old computers - various specifications, will probably need fiddling with to make them work or they could be used for parts. It's a long shot, I know - if nobody wants any of them, they are going to the tip in the morning.

can't believe I still feel rough this morning. Longest hangover ever, thanks to Anthony Chovie-George Brunner Park, David Boffey, The pudding monster (James Rowland), 'Greg and Gary' and the random Chinese guy!

tell a jelaous chicken I don't know what the beef is

Eighty-six thousand Ugandan dollars