Thursday funny

[DaveHarries]

A man goes out one day having decided to buy himself a pet parrot. He is looking around the pet shop and, while he is doing this, a shop assistant goes up to him. "Can I help you sir?"

"Yes", replies the man, "I am looking to buy a parrot."

"Well here's an interesting one", says the assistant, "but he hasn't got any claws. In addition, he can talk." The assistant points to a handsome looking parrot standing on the perch in his cage. "Hang on", says the man, "if he hasn't got any claws then how can he stand on the perch in that cage?"

The assistant, who is male, looks around to make sure no-one is within earshot. Then he says to the man: "He stands on that perch by wrapping his willy around the perch."

"Thats great", says the customer. And the parrot with no claws is duly purchased. The man take the parrot home. When they get home the parrot says to the man: "Thanks for buying me and bringing me back here. Don't worry. If you look after me then I will do the same to you". Later the man's wife gets home from work and he shows his wife the parrot and she agrees that this parrot is indeed a lovely bird.

About a week later the man has to go away for the night. After receiving assurances from his wife that she will take good care of the parrot he goes off on his trip.

He returns next day before his wife is home from work. He goes to the parrot and says: "Hello! How are you?" The parrot looks around and then says to the man: "I think your wife is playing around."

"Really?", asks the man, "why do you think that?"

"Well", says the parrot, "last night your wife came home with another man." The bloke thinks for a moment and then says: "Ok. What happened next?"

"Well", replies the parrot, "late in the evening your wife and this man started snogging."

"And then...?", asks the man

Replies the parrot: "They started kissing."

"And then...?", asks the man

Replies the parrot: "Well after a while she took her shoes off."

"OK", says the man, thinking he knows where this is going.

"Then she took her skirt off. Followed by her underwear."

"Right", says the man.

Continues the parrot: "And then she took off her cardigan, followed by her bra. And at the same time the man was taking his clothes off as well."

"Right", says the man, "and what happened next?"

"I fell off my perch", replies the parrot.

"What do you mean you fell off your perch?", asks the man. "Did you fall asleep?"

"No", replies the parrot, "I developed a hard-on."

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(Well it was enough to make me laugh when I heard it anyway. And the joke I have lined up for tomorrow is worse.....)

Dave

[Gillywibble]

[JimmyW]

Oh dear!! :rofl:

Bit of an old one though :P

[kooks]

hahaha

Oh that's going round the office....!