ISTR reading a thread saying that a firmware update for the central electrics module on my car would enable one touch indicators (or at least enable them to be activated in VCDS). I was wondering how much this is likely to cost and if the service desk guy at the Skoda dealers would look at me like I'm a nutter when I ask.

I was pretty sure that it wasn't updatable. The more modern ECUs enabled it, older ones don't have the feature. There was a fair bit of discussion with fabia vrs when it became available.