Another Virus Alert!

[oilymoyle]

Following on from the 'Work' virus, I recently submitted this problem to Tech Forum. I have not had a reply as yet :insane:

Subject: Tech support

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the

Same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2003. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer

And E-mail Filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Fab vRS hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003; it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Any ideas?

[fab16v]

Thats briliant. :hilarius:

[fab16v]

Dear TROUBLED USER,

This is very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend x.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend x.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend x.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend x.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings- Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the

situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES

DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,

Tech Support

[heresmo]

Saaaah! :rofl: Ideas? You could try Diagnostics for Dummies...

Mo

[Royston]

Saaaah! :rofl: Ideas? You could try Diagnostics for Dummies...

Mo

Dear Mo,

I've often wondered, what does "Saaaah!" mean in your posts?

Thanks

[heresmo]

Dear Mo' date='

I've often wondered, what does "Saaaah!" mean in your posts?

Thanks[/quote']

Hi

"Saaaaah!" is my nearest representation of the infectious sound of laughter that Spongebob Squarepants makes when he breaks into an uncontrollable fit of giggles, i.e. just means very funny.

Here's an audio clip:

http://home.fuse.net/skycorder/aprlfool.wav

Probably better to stick to the usual ROFL etc, I guess - apols to anyone who thought it might be something more sinister than a being a genuine expression of delight.

Regards

Mo

[ScoobyChris]

"Saaaaah!" is my nearest representation of the infectious sound of laughter that Spongebob Squarepants makes when he breaks into an uncontrollable fit of giggles, i.e. just means very funny.

Just added a whole new dimension to your posts now. Btw - did you know you sound a lot like SpongeBob in that clip

Chris

[heresmo]

Just added a whole new dimension to your posts now. Btw - did you know you sound a lot like SpongeBob in that clip

Chris

Only one thing to say to you: Saaaaaah! In truth, I even look like him -thongs really are murder in the first degree :eek:

Mo