It’s the daughter’s car but we’ve just bought her a newer car to replace it. Aw she’s only 21 once and she’s up and down the motorway like billyo now.

1998 “S” reg Rover 214i. 5 door in Green, 99,009 miles. In the last 12 months this is what I’ve done to it:

· 3 oil/filter changes

· New sparks in December.

· New radiator. The old one had a bl**dy great big hole in it.

· New inlet manifold gasket. Unavoidable the old one was knackered.

· New fan belt. Bl**dy squeak was doing her head in.

· Replaced cv boot (failed MOT in March for this, which has been replaced. Passed re-test with no faults/advisorories2 advisories oil leak & damage to nsf wheel rim. Sorry about the misinformation here my daughter said it had none when I asked her but lo and behold there they are on the MOT when she bothered to find it)

· All tyres have less than 10,000 miles, should be good for another 10,000, Unless you're 18 and think you're Lewis Hamilton. In which case good luck ragging a 14 yr old car round on Chinese tyres.

· New discs and pads on front, got about 5,000 miles on I think. Should last a while yet, but see boy racer comments above.

· Repaired the driver’s window. Common fault on these is the window comes down but the mechanism flexes against the door lining and sags back up limply in the wrong place. I’ve welded a piece of metal over this to fix it. Now goes up and down like Madonna’s arse in her latest video. Although unlike Madonna’s arse the window doesn't sag any more.

· Just changed the oil/filter (air filter only has about 2,000 miles on it)

· All electrics work APART from rear windscreen wiper. I think the motor has gone. AND you’re likely to have reached your destination before the rear de-mister decides to cough into life, but hey ho it’s an old car. The car will be supplied with a free dirty rag as a manual solution to this problem.

· And now I come to think of it, sometimes the blower sticks on full heat. This is annoying but I find shouting at the car makes you feel better about this. Although it doesn't seem to have fixed the problem. Still, at least the windows work.

· New ignition coil – this was done by a local garage I didn’t know how to do this. D'uh for duffer.

· Although not done in the last 12 months, the Timing belt changed at 67,000. Handily written on the block by the previous owner. Who also replaced the HT leads.

There is no mayo in the oil and the car has not had the cooling problems dreaded in this model, it’s got 11 month’s MOT and a month’s tax left. There’s a bit of rust around the arches, and tbh the general condition of interior and paintwork is what you’d expect from a car of this age. Basically it’s a runner that I hope will see the year out for someone. If no-one wants it, I’ll scrap it which seems a shame. Even though it’s what the daughter called “mingeing green”, there’s a bit of life in the old dog yet. Note to boy racers above - if you do ever see a minge, run away if it's green.

Yours for £250 ono...

You can PM me for further details.

Pm sent

This is the best car advert I have ever seen!

Bravo OP

Think I may steal a few bits of this for mine lol

Bravo on the amusing advert... good luck with the sale.

Hmm had to update this. Dozy bugger of a daughter said car had no advisories on re-test when it has 2 - oil leak and damage to nsf wheel rim. Though I can't find an oil leak and the wheel is still round. And the little tinker did 3,000 miles in a month so I've updated the mileage. Why do women have the knack of answering questions without really answering them?

SOLD but not forgotten, and still cheap at twice the price!

Cheers Mark I hope it serves you well .