Will a vrs remap kill car eventually?

Not if its a decent smooth map no. I'm on 165,000 miles running hybrid turbo so another 30-40bhp over a map.

As above it all depends on the map and how you drive it.

A good smooth map, with not too much torque, should last the life of the car. If you boot it in too high gear it may lower the life of the clutch.