Wife thought she was being really helpful and took the car for a wash - told me it was to save me having to worry about doing it at the weekend. Bless her.

First thing I noticed when I got back was not the lovely clean car, but the damn swirl marks. Don't have the heart to tell her...

They seem restricted to driver side rear door and bonnet and are fairly light. Where do I go from here?

Divorce?

A product like Autoglym Super Resin Polish will fill them so you can't see them, and will then need some form of protection. To remove them you will ideally need a machine, although I've heard Meguiars Ultimate Compound or Gtechniq P1 are great by hand for removing swirls. But it takes a lot of effort.

As Neil says +

Farecla G3 polish and pads are good for hand use too....and machines...Buy at Halfords