This morning my car decided to act all possessed on me, the wiper control sets the horn off and locks the car, the indicators don't work, the speedo and trip meters don't work, electric windows wont open at all and my hazards keep coming on, oglh amd my petrol gauge keeps flickering to full then empty when i have not long put £20 quid in it

Welcome to the forum.

 

You need to give clues.

What Fabia,  what engine and age etc.

Is the battery gone flat.   What else you know.   What did you put in £20 of , petrol?

I was thinking battery but never heard of the fuel needle dancing. Everything else points to the battery, had this happen to me in the works van, AA man said the ECU basically shuts everything off(lights, radio etc) to save power for the stuff that's needed until it's completely drained.

Its a fabia 1.2 10 plate, its really strange, there are no warning lights and the battery light isn't coming on. Iv checked fuses they seem okay

most likely dead battery assuming still original battery

 

let me guess you can't even jump start it

 

had several batteries in the last 10 years that literally just died,

 

my Octavia, I drove 100 miles, park in a car park at customers , realised I was in a wrong back turned key, dead as doo doo, tried jump starting heavy duty cables got red hot very quick as though battery was short