Jay VRS

That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to tell a girl to sit on my face.

The joys of high performance motoring..Engine has decided to shear 2 bolts on its mounts and rip the mounts to shreds and bent the bolts that are left holding it in,As a consequence it is now hanging out the car ..I dont think my enthusiastic driving style played any part in this catastrophic failure ..(honest)

What programme do you select to wash a dog in the washing machine?

Quite rightly the moderators have removed jokes about the passing of Whitney Houston from peoples status's due to them being deemed in bad taste..So if youve got any good George Michael ones youd better get them in while he is still with us...

And the award for the most boring alum of 2011 goes to Snow Patrol for "Fallen Empires"....I think it will also pick up the awards for..most unvaried,most spiritless, most drab,most monotonous most humdrum and definately for most platitudinous.

Christmas is a retail period, dictated to people by retailers, newspapers, television, the internet and advertisers so everyone calm the fook down your being taken for a ride you muppets..

What is the point of the Christmas card? Other than to give money to talentless artist/designers and unemployable writers of sycophantic verses.

Watching "Nigella Bites xmas special" on Good Food Channel, theres a real danger I could end up ripping my own **** off... :-o

Loving the retardedness of the Kopite gob****es singing theres only one Louis Suarez...Do they not realise if there was numerous Suarez's they wouldnt be able to field a team due to them all being banned ..

I completed the Yorkshire 3 peaks challenge successfully last June so I am now setting myself a new goal and will be attempting the national 3 Peaks challenge on the 1st/2nd July next year... Ben Nevis,Scaffell Pike and Snowdon 450 miles of driving 26 miles of Walking and 9700ft of climbing must be done in under 24 hrs can't wait I am getting giddy thinking about it...

The weather looks quite bad up them mountains in the Lakes today ..Which is of course is good news as it means we should have it all to ourselves...Result!!

I wonder what percentage of Charlie Adams wages goes on bungs to Referees to avoid bookings? must be quite a large slice.

The results are in from the Dildo Gold Cup an event for Mares and old Nags.1st Adair ya to (responded well to the whip in the last furlong)2nd Nosey Parker (started well but went a bit weak at the knees)3rd Basher Bilski (Just lost out by a length or two)

Just ran 4 miles with George Adair, Its hard work being the father of a future Thai Boxing world champion

Whats with all this merry christmas rubbish? Its been christmas since bloody October hasnt it?

Me and the dog have just walked to pets at home in Leigh along the canal nearly 10 miles there and back and guess what ..Its fookin shut today....

Girl look at that body ...Girl look at that body .....Girl look at that body ....I work out

Better get my waterproofs on the dog needs a stroll..

Bedtime me thinks, in for a long oily day tomorrow.

10 minutes till home time thank fook!

cataracts at 41 only I could get such a thing FFS ..Will be getting a bionic eye fitted in 3 weeks..ouch

Leona Lewis singing "Hurt" ...The only thing hurting is my ears you talentless bint!

Up early getting our George ready for his big fight later today at the Metrodome Barnsley, big venue so he is going to give a big performance ????? George........Wishing Lottie from Unity Muay Thai and all the fighters from Peel Thai Boxing the best of luck in their fights also..

Thursday 31 May 2012 Lowton North WestThursday 31 May 2012 Abram North WestThursday 31 May 2012 Wigan North WestThursday 31 May 2012 Scholes North WestThursday 31 May 2012 Ince North WestThursday 31 May 2012 Hindley North WestOlympic torch route

I love this weather it keeps everybody indoors and as a results you dont have to exchange false pleasantries while out walking the dog..Bliss!!