Explain 'Fat persons car' to me?

go and look at the seats in one and youll see what I mean

built for a massive ****

During Skoda's R&D for the Fabia vrs they found the car was capable of doing one squillion smokeless miles to the gallon when run on olive oil and double that from standard pump diesel.

However the oil companies found out and were so worried that they ganged up to pay skoda a billion dollar royalty fee for every fabia vrs they sold if they could frig it so it only did 50mpg and make it smoke like a pregnant teenage single mum on the social. This royalty is why every Fabia vrs feels like it is hewn from granite and 24ct gold because they are.

If Chuck Norris was a car he would be a Fabia vrs (a black one)

hehe, cheers bud

What a bloody cheek. I suggest you write a stern letter to Ford informing them that they must de-tune the 2.0 tdci Focus with immediate effect. I thought there was a European directive banning manufacturers from tuning their cars with more than 309.999999Nm of torque so that the Fabia was the torquiest torque monster in the big boys’ “Festival of Torque” taking place at Torquecester’s “Inverted Asphalt Playground of Torque”. Whilst you’re writing the letter, maybe you could use a template and also send copies to BMW, M-B, Ferrari, Lambo, Bugatti etc reminding them of their obligations under the 2005 Fabia Directive*.

To celebrate the end of production in 2007 of this ultimate modern classic, I contacted the nice chaps at AMG. I told them I thought the Fabia was far more deserving of Black treatment than anything those leather fetishist Bavarians at M-B could come up with. I even suggested a tuning package of an Ebay postal remap, LCR splitter and WRC spoiler to exceed the performance gains seen on the SL Black (Suggesting a hybrid turbo would have blown their tiny minds). Alas, they said their budget was too small to buy a development Fabia, such was the stern residuals on the model. Did you know that even the early 53 models still retain a healthy 2,000,000% of the initial purchase price? So my dream of a black Fabia vrs Black remains unfulfilled.

On a positive note, they said that Skoda had approached them regarding the development of the mark 2 vrs but after examing the development car, they told Skoda that there was no way they could improve it as it was such a beast already. Apparently the delay in releasing the new vrs is because it is so torquey it presents a threat to humanity (it has enough torque to stop the earth’s rotation), so Skoda are still in talks with the UN to tune it down a little. Brighteyes Sugarlumps (hotly tipped to succeed Banksy Moon as General secretary of the UN when he steps down to concentrate on his grafitti art) is trying to get himself put at the top of the waiting list for the new model as it has always been his ambition to slide down the road with the car on its roof and the taste of airbag in his mouth.

* At the time, MG Rover were so digusted with having to de-tune their entire range of cars to meet the EU directive, they took the only option available and closed their plant in Birmingham, relocating to China where they could produce the 500Nm CityRover with no threat of legal action as well as opening a side line in knock off DVDs and software, lead paint decorated children’s toy and formaldehyde laced baby milk, with mixed success I should add. The cars are still rubbish but the other sectors of the new business are flourishing.

Best post ive ever seen on here.

I dont get why people make such a big deal over vrs fabs,every other VW since the turn of the decade up to 2006ish has the exact same engine.:rolleyes:quick car,but only in the context of a small diesel hatchback.had it been a 130bhp petrol they wouldve struggled to sell any at all!

only figure I worry about is the MPG, sad I know :P

You need a scooter then or something

go and look at the seats in one and youll see what I mean

built for a massive ****

Yep, the Ghia seats are poor IMO. Like a bench, with seemingly no bolster support at all. The Zetec seats are quite a bit better. This is for the Mk1/Mk1 facelift; I've no idea what they've done with them in the Mk2.

Steve

You need a scooter then or something

Nah, 55-60 is plenty good enough for me and I would rather ride my push bike than be seen on a scooter

But you said MPG was all that mattered....

Zetec seats are quite supportive and comfortable

go and look at the seats in one and youll see what I mean

built for a massive ****

You can't compare range topping Fabia seats with basic focus seats!

I'm sure the chairs in the RS are great.

But you said MPG was all that mattered....

Lol, sorry I missed the Fabia bit out :P

Just looked out of interest and they are a lot more expensive as well.

Not really.

You could when the fabia was still for sale, get a MKII Focus 2.0 TDCI for less than a Fabia VRS after discounts.

MKII Sport is very nice to sit in and still pretty quick with only the 1.6 TDCI in it. The 2.0 is a fast car with a very nice shove in the back.

I've always been a bit disappointed that they've not yet offered a properly sporty Focus diesel, maybe with the 2.2 170 TDCi in it.

Maybe best not to call it the STD though

It's what put me in a Fabia vRS in the first place, when I was changing from a petrol Focus and wanted a diesel, that the best option was a 115bhp TDCi.

Steve

Re the O.P.

Does anybody really give a ****?

You could when the fabia was still for sale, get a MKII Focus 2.0 TDCI for less than a Fabia VRS after discounts.

Really? Epic fail on my part then I could only get offered a 1.6 petrol for the price of a furby.

Re the O.P.

Does anybody really give a ****?

The OP cares because he has a surly vrs:

Surly VRS should be faster and more torquey?

Everyone knows the ambivalent or pleasant versions have more torque. The surly vrs has problems with the EGRegious valve losing valuable torque.

As to my main post, How could I forget the asshat, sorry, Asphalt Playground is in Torquay not Torquecester

Re the O.P.

Does anybody really give a ****?

No, But the thread has got more interesting now, can't stop laughing,

Please carry on.

:rofl:

Isnt discussing a Ford in favour of a Fabia vRS sacrillage? Afterall the Fabia vRS has achieved godlike status and cannot be compared to anything else on 4 wheels, even its VAG siblings, it simply is an object of absolute power and beauty!

Seriously though, I didnt realise that the Focus and Fabia were even in competetion for the same market segment?

Shouldnt we be comparing the Focus to say an Octavia and the Fabia vRS to a Fiesta 1.6 TDCI Zetec??

If Chuck Norris was a car he would be a Fabia vrs (a black one)

Quote of the week!!

Really? Epic fail on my part then I could only get offered a 1.6 petrol for the price of a furby.

I got offered £5000 off a 2.0 TDCI focus without really trying much more than a "of course fleet pricing is going to affect resale".

Isnt discussing a Ford in favour of a Fabia vRS sacrillage? Afterall the Fabia vRS has achieved godlike status and cannot be compared to anything else on 4 wheels, even its VAG siblings, it simply is an object of absolute power and beauty!

Untrue, everybody knows the fabia 2.0 would whip the vRS

mine a zetec 2.0tdci

Well done.

mine a zetec 2.0tdci

Nice looking motor. What figures did it remap to, and is the standard clutch ok?

What real world mpgs do you get?

Sorry for all the questions.

just under 170bhp clutch ok so far 1 year on! mpg 35 round town with a spirited right foot 50mpg on a run at 60-70 for the record i love fabias its why i look at this site, dont often post but felt i had something to contribute to this particular thread apologies to anyone who thinks i shouldnt be here!

During Skoda's R&D for the Fabia vrs they found the car was capable of doing one squillion smokeless miles to the gallon when run on olive oil and double that from standard pump diesel.

However the oil companies found out and were so worried that they ganged up to pay skoda a billion dollar royalty fee for every fabia vrs they sold if they could frig it so it only did 50mpg and make it smoke like a pregnant teenage single mum on the social. This royalty is why every Fabia vrs feels like it is hewn from granite and 24ct gold because they are.

If Chuck Norris was a car he would be a Fabia vrs (a black one)

"inside sources" say it was closer to 1 billion, million, fafillion, shabolubalu million illion yillion...yen