Cracker 'jokes' - give it your best (or worst) shot

[chrisw880]

Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea?

One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint.

All the sailors ended up being marooned.

[tishalouise]

Where do snowmen go to dance?

Snowballs!

[tishalouise]

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

He had low ELF esteem!

[tishalouise]

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?

Frostbite!

[tishalouise]

Where do you find reindeer?

It depends on where you leave them!

[tishalouise]

What do snowmen eat for lunch?

Icebergers!

[tishalouise]

What do reindeer have that no other animals have?

Baby reindeer!

[tishalouise]

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic!

[tishalouise]

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?

You wake up wet!

[Captain Scarlet]

LOL at the supplies one.

But have you just opened a box of crackers tishalouise?

[Jim H]

I don't think these are cracker jokes, they're just bad ones.

What do you call a penguin in the Desert.

Lost

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb.

Two (but how the hell do they get in there!)

What did Sam do?

Samsung!

[tishalouise]

One Christmas, Phil and Will built a skating rink in the middle

of a pasture. A shepard leading his flock decided to take a

shortcut across the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of

the ice and wouldn't cross it. Desperate, the shepard began

tugging them to the other side.

"Look at that," remarked Phil to Will. "That guy is trying to

pull the wool over our ice!"

[tishalouise]

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?

Because it soots him !

[tishalouise]

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?

Stacks !

[tishalouise]

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?

Black mail !

[tishalouise]

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?

It's Christmas, Eve !

[tishalouise]

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?

The letter "D" !

[tishalouise]

Who delivers the cat's Christmas presents ?

Santa Paws !

[tishalouise]

Who is never hungry at Christmas ?

The turkey - he's always stuffed !

[chrisw880]

What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth.

[sausage roll]

Q. Why did the skeleton decide to miss the christmas party?

A. Because he had no body to go with! (nobody - get it?)

[tishalouise]

Why did santa go to the mushroom's party?

because he was a FUNGI ................... tee hee hee

Edited 17 December, 2009 by tishalouise

[tishalouise]

Why does the french Santa only have 1 egg in his full english breakfast?

because 1 egg is 'une oeuf' lol

specially for brimma x

[Brimma]

What do you call a dear that hasn't got any eyes ?

No idea

[Brimma]

My dog has no nose

How does he smell ?

Terrible