Ok I'll try to keep it brief.

I broke my leg 9 weeks ago. Car was last started briefly around a month ago.

Went to unlock the car this morning to nothing.

The car is parked down the side of the house where the drivers door cannot be opened.

Is there a easy way to get the bonnet cable from under the car to pop the bonnet?

Use your key in the door handle? Should open just the door you put it in!

The drivers door is next to the house and won't open....

Ah, sorry. Skipped that part!

Find a small child to squeeze in lol