Going Woburn Safari park next month for my partners birthday and I'm a bit worried about the monkeys tearing apart my car.

Has anyone ever monkey proofed their car?

I appreciate it's not your everyday question!

I know the wipers and the strips on the roof will be easy targets.

The only other option is take her corsa B 'sport' let them tear it up, limp to the scrapers and get the train home!

Take your other half/parents/mates car  

I'm sure dirty monkey paws are a detailer's nightmare   if you care about your paintwork I would avoid taking your own car unless you want to drive through the monkey bit leaning on the horn at 50mph.

Pretty sure you can bypass the monkey bit. Or, just make sure you have a speech ready for the park owners to justify why it is ok to punch a small excitable animal in the face

Don't smear your roof with peanut butter - at least doing so is how Top Gear attracted so much attention to their cars.

 

Seriously though I don't know of any ways to keep them off, other than taking someone else's car!  I remember going through Windsor Safari Park as a kid and the monkey stripped the wiper blades off my Dad's car, then tried drinking from the wiper jets. When it had emptied the tank all the tubing was pulled out in frustration! Needless to say that was the last time he took us!

 

Can't remember if that was in our old Ford Zephyr or the Morris Marina (!) - either way I hope a Fabia would be made of sterner stuff.

There is no way I'd let my car get monkey raped lol

Looking at the map on the Woburn website, it looks like you can avoid the monkeys. I know i did when i went to Knowsley Safari Park and West Mids haven't had monkeys since the foot and mouth years ago.

Pretty sure you can bypass the monkey bit. Or, just make sure you have a speech ready for the park owners to justify why it is ok to punch a small excitable animal in the face

I think the mrs would be more unhappy about the punching than the keepers lol. Did make me laugh.

Not worried about the lions and tigers. Just the monkeys. Destructive little creatures.

Hire a car for the day?

Test drive a car for the day?

 

Fixed that for you. 

Edited 31 January, 201412 yr by Ben90

You can avoid the monkey enclosure.

The entry and exit are close together and there is a road that joins the two without going in.

 

They will pull off lose trim (favorites are the door rubbing strips if the edge has peeled up) and rarely do more damage.

But be aware of paint damage from claws when they climb on the car.

 

Years ago (when I was young) we went through there in my Mum's car.

A monkey started to pull on the wiper.

My Mum decided to accelerate sharply and brake to dislodge the animal.

 

It slid down the bonnet and fell off the end, leaving two sets of claw marks all the way down the bonnet as it desperately tried to hang on.

Fixed that for you. 

LOL...Good idea

I went through the monkey enclosure there with my Fabia not a problem

A few other cars had monkeys sat on them.

I did have a camel use my car as a scratch post at the Highlands wildlife park though

Could be worse:

 

http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2008/08/20/rhino-clambers-onto-car/

 

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/04/22/1082616262533.html 

Could be worse:

http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2008/08/20/rhino-clambers-onto-car/

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/04/22/1082616262533.html

That second one is brilliant.

Definitely a place to avoid for those with Meteor Grey Skoda's then!

Definitely a place to avoid for those with Meteor Grey Skoda's then!

Could be easily mistaken!

TWIN 50 CAL MACHINE GUNS MOUNTED ON THE ROOF FOR 360 DEGREE COVERAGE. SMOKE GRENADE LAUNCHERS WOULD ALSO BE USEFUL, APART FROM THAT NO 'CAR' IS OR CAN BE MADE MONKEYPROOF

Apparently it's possible to get annoyed enough that you run them over! Personally, I think pepper spray or massive capacitor electro-shock weapons are the way to go. Or take an actual tank or AC.

Nos purge vents like off fast and furious