I posted this on the Brisky FB page, but I thought I migt share it on here, for a laugh, or something!

 

Driving along a quiet motorway, near home, at 1am.....mellow mood so not caning it, just cruising at an indicated 75.

In lane one, no other traffic around.......tum te tum te tum te.....DEER! Smack. It was that quick, didn't even have a chance to lift off, let alone have time to brake.

Fortunately, it was a small roe deer, those ones about the size of a Labrador dog. Deer basically explodes, nothing recognisable left, apart from devastation of blood and guts. Radiator immediately obliterated, coolant everywhere. Recovery home.

Post mortum reveals damage not too bad, and obviously I'm thankful that I wasn't injured, and that the car wasn't knocked into some hideous spin, or worse. I was able to just brake and come to a safe stop. I now have a new radiator, condensor and radiator fan ready to go on, and the damage to the metal front panelwork was fairly easily straightened out. I've even managed to save the plastic bumper, by heating up the huge creases with a blowtorch and popping them back out. A bit of paint has flaked off, but it's patched up well enough to go back on and make the car driveable. I'm so skint, it will have to do!

Pic below - that's after all Bambi's guts have been pressure washed off!

 

Any before pictures lol

Glad everyone is OK.

 

Have to say you have one of the best Usernames I've seen in a long while

Had this happen to me just after the M25/M40 junction leaving London one evening about 7pm - still daylight - antlered cretin jumped out of the central reservation - heaven knows what it was doing in there. Did quite a lot more damage to a Superb but likewise all OK and nobody hurt except for bits of deer all over the road.

 

Have to agree on the username - do people keep hanging up when you phone them?

 

>> showing my ignorance - I didn't get the Python reference, I was thinking more Mitchell & Webb https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsYoeoEE3ww

Haha cheers guys and gals!

 

Chadlington - heheh yes I well remember that Mitchell and Webb massive yacht sketch when it was first shown.....a well funny sketch!

 

But as you then recognise, probably along with Lady Elanore - yes, my username is from the Monty Python TV sketch, featuring Raymond Luxury-Yacht (or should that be 'Throat Warbler Mangrove...?' )

 

I have the same username on another well-known, National car forum - and it's amazing how many people think that I genuinely own a Luxury-Yacht, and are disappointed when they find out that I am a generally skint, working-class lad, living in a dull, rabbit-hutch style home on a faceless housing estate.....and totally bereft of any custom water-craft at all!

 

In fact the closest I am to a 'luxury yacht,' is my small plastic floating duck that I keep by the side of my bath, that is occasionally fortunate enough to be deployed to share the putrid, foamy bath water alongside my monsterous, unfit, flabby body, on those occasions when I am attempting to approach something resembling an acceptable level of personal cleanliness, on a day-by-day basis! Heheheh....

Doe a deer, a female deer

Ray, a broken cooling fan

Some kind. Of name. I called that deer

Farr a long long way to drive

Me a name I called myself

Could not stop the car in time

Dam I jumped hard upon the brakes

Smashed the deer in the face

Deer left beside the road

And it brings us back to doe doe doe DOH

My boss hit a pheasant at (and I quote) "warp 9".

 

the corpse managed to work its way into the engine bay and wreck a lot of pipe work.

 

Glad to hear you're ok

 

I see signs but I've never seen wildlife (aside from the pheasants along the m4 corridor)

I clobbered a pheasant when I had the vrs. It took off as I was about to hit it so it caught the top edge of the bonnet and rolled up the windscreen and was left spinning in the road behind. You have to watch pheasants as they're not good at evasion and often step the wrong way, into your path.

I hit a pigeon in a works van once and it spread eagled on the windscreen, left a perfect dusty print of a bird in flight.

Found a crow in the air duct of my boss's NSX once too.

Unfortunately the most expensive way is the safest way, in that you shouldn't swerve or jump on the brakes for wildlife, this could cause more problems as often we don't have time to react. It's a bit morally dubious but the Driving Standards Agency you can't value wildlife over human life. See so much roadkill round here, it's a good source of food for Buzzards, Kites and carrion birds, but it's a shame when you see Badgers and birds of prey that have been hit especially Red Kites.

Badgers can do a lot of damage for their size, they can rip a front valance and undertray clean off. Had to drive round a semi squashed one yesterday, was too big to pass under the car without contact, fortunately it was a slow section. Roads are useful to animals as corridors, for navigation and feeding, unfortunately they cross their routes as well so all this is horribly inevitable and just part of life, and death, for us and them.

I hit 3 wood pigeons at 50mph not all that long ago after they decided to swoop down for the food on the road about 3 metres infront of me. I didnt even attempt to brake. There were no survivors.

Going back many years when i was an early teenager i went on a roadtrip with my dad delivering kitchens in glasgow and a full flock of pigeons flew out from a side street between two tall building. The windscreen looked like we had drove it a load of bricks. We had to be recovered home.. Took ages

I've been watching a lot of these Skoda "mood" films about the new Superb and a number of the Simply Clever videos on Youtube (umbrellas, virtual pedal, etc).

 

I came up with the following "script" for a new one that Skoda should consider - at least if nothing else for 1st April. How about this:

• [Pastoral Music, Classical Strings]
• Deer in a field, at dawn, first rays of sunshine breaking through clouds
• New Superb, still with headlamps on, sweeping along country lane through the fields.
• Headlamps swivel, shot of front facing camera as headlamps seen illuminating a bend.
• Deer startled in the field as the headlamps play through some trees at the side of the road.
• [Music gets more dynamic]
• Car sweeps round another corner.
• Traffic sign recognition recognises "Beware of Deer sign" and flashes onto the colour maxidot.
• Startled Deer seen running towards the road.
• Headlamps illuminate eye of deer in verge, reflection of bi-xenon in deer's retina.
• Skoda badge on bonnet flips in, revealing metallic head of arrow bolt.
• Arrow bolt fires from front of Superb [Music now increasing in intensity]
• Winged arrow seen in flight [music at peak].
• Arrow fells deer at side of road. Deer crumples gently on the verge.
• [Music returns to pastoral style, quieter]
• "Beware of Deer" sign switches off in colour maxidot
• Skoda badge flips back into place.
• Superb seen driving safely along country lane through the fields as sun comes up and day breaks.
• Cut to black screen with "Skoda - Simply Clever" logo and voice-over.