Octavia I - Central Locking & Electric Windows Fault

Morning all. 

I hope you can help. I have been having major issues with my 2002 Octavia vRS. The full details can be found here (http://www.briskoda.net/forums/topic/377567-help-me-love-my-octavia-again-central-locking-elec-window-issues/) but the heads and tails of it is that having replaced the door microswitch, the complete door wiring loom, convenience module and the electric window motor regulator, I am still left with electric windows that don't work, an interior light that doesn't work and remote central locking that doesn't work. 

I am fairly certain that I have eliminated all of the physical problems in the system, so I am now led to believe that the fault lies in the coding. However, I am no coding genius, so I was wondering if anyone on here had any experience or suggestions? Is it a coding fault? Where should I start looking?

To that end, if there is anyone who is handy with a VCDS cable around the Swindon area I'd be very greatly obliged of any help. 

Thanks.