From The Internet:

If Operating Systems Ran

The Airlines...

UNIX

Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to

the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together

piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are

supposed to be building.

Air

DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on

and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push

again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac

Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents

look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details,

you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't

want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever

having to know, so just shut up.

Windows

Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards,

easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10

minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows

NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes,

and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP

Air planes.

All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as

big as they need to be.

The signs are huge and all point the same way.

Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed

hat insisting you follow him.

Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air

suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included

in the exorbitant ticket cost.

The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract.

The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey

Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again.

You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or

drink.

You are searched regularly throughout the flight.

If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket.

No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash

landing at Whistler in Canada.

OSX Air:

You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in

the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She

smiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your

picture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice before

takes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed a

minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of

your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You

enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to

music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of

the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow,

that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"

Windows Vista Airlines:

You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever

seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are

"sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like

to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask

the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security

officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear

the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes

customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow.

Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.

Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the

flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then

it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively

the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are

punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you

want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively

say "Allow".

After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn't

updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the

down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots

are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the

landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.

You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles

with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close

friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much

better alternative and helps.

Linux

Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to

start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the

runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of

printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the

ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a

wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable

seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without

a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell

customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all

they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

:rofl:

:rofl:

Excellent! It's good to see the old classics being brought up to date

:rofl:

Chris

sadly i found that funny too lol

That was cool... well done...

I liked the end...thats so true... people are put off (like me) because you have to do more work for yourself to get things to work! lol

They missed a bit for Linux Air:

Every customer thinks they know a better way of creating the seat, filling the plane, how the plane should look and work, the language that communication will be in and so starts their own airline distribution. The ticket for one airline doesn't always work with another airline even though it appear to at first.

People get annoyed that it should be GNU/Linux air and start blogging and writing on usenet about it. Soon there is a mailing list to discuss these issues.

Discussion continues, but despite all the fanboys none of the planes ever take off.

Its good to be reminded; thanks Woz.

Also for Linux air:- The aeroplane has several cabins that all do the same thing, in the same aeroplane, but which look and feel different.

:D excellent!

There's a NEW version of Windows: WindowsRG Fullscreen Demo All the buttons work (Hit the F5 key to refresh if you lose it)