Hi there Guys and Gals

As the title says I've had my Yeti for a smidgin over the full twelve months, done a touch over 24000 miles - and been a member of this Briskoda forum for a couple of months over that, less one week spent on the naughty step.

And so I felt this creeping need, this deep desire to dig down into parts of the brain that rarely see the light of day and look at the facts, the figments and the foibles of owning a Yeti in the wooded valleys and naked hilltops of mid-Wales, from which periodic escapes can be made onto the motorway network and into the towns and cities of UK.com.

How well one can recall the research, the catalogues consumed, the pamphlets perused and the details digested; websites wondered at, reviews reviewed, comments considered. The hours spent dribbling over a clackety keyboard squinting at a computer screen; the mouse-clicks to "GO" whether to another Googled page or to an interminable maze of quotations that never, ever seemed to be designed for what consumers actually require of the web.

There were second-hand vehicle sites to visit, both on the web and on the hoof, to try to appraise the available metalwork as dictated by THE BUDGET. Fortunately, that budget was probably the easiest cog in the wheel of fortune to get settled, as the dosh on the docket delineated that particular horizon. £18 grand plus whatever I could squeeeeeze out of my previous ickle vehicle.

A chance discussion with the 88 year-old Matriarch of the Freshacre family highlighted the presence of an "off-road" button that enabled a reporter in The Scotsman to get on TO a road from his steep and snowy driveway, and this in a car neither had heard of before. In amongst chat of Subaru, Toe-rags, Raves, Freeloaders , a Skoda that provided that and an awful lot more seemed eminently sensible to the common sense of this auld biddy. As a result, a new car with a 4*4 offering that appeared to be of the best available, with fuel consumption to rival a lawnmower, every conceivable comfort contained as standard, with a perceived value for money that a good Scots clan could not ignore, it became a fait accompli, if we'd understood what that was.

Used car lots were instantly ignored as the chosen car was hunted down, and through the actual, much maligned, maze that is the Skoda web offering, the test drive was arranged at the nearest dealer, some 42.5 miles away, for a convenient moment some days in the future. This gave the opportunity for more meaningful midnight mouse manipulations to gather information regarding possible on-line acquisition. Armed with a portfolio of prices the test drive whetted the appetite and supplied confirmation of the rightness of the decision, and the man in Swansea who prefers five percent of something to one hundred percent of nothing produced the figures that, after a tiny massage, had the deal shaken upon and signed.

First hurdle cleared, easily and comfortably and with great satisfaction. And then the wait.

Only eight weeks later, and exactly when I'd been told to expect it, the call came to collect. Clutching the credit card, having scuttled with indecent haste to Swansea, the new Yeti stalled twice on the first roundabout within 100 yards of the dealer. Were they watching, laughing, wheezing with mirth as the kangaroo diesel they provided masked the forward movement with intermittent leaps and crouches? Ducking and diving around that infernal rear-view mirror progress eventually resulted in a full tank of fuel, a belly full of Big Mac, a brain full of Manual, and a full sense of anticipation as the 170 4*4 growled steadily in the direction of the hills and valleys it was to call home.

And now - many adventures later... ... ...six trips to Perth, where the Auld Biddie remarks at each visit about, variably, how big it is, or perversely how compact it is, or how high it is or how easy that gammy leg or two find it to get into, and how good the view is from inside it is - and in all that there is complete, comfortable accord. That chance comment in conversation a lifetime ago is deemed fortuitous.

There was a first trip to beyond Inverness, to Portmahomack where another Yeti was spotted, where in excess of 50 mpg was noted, and the magnificent upgraded sound system appreciated hugely. The motorway was consumed as an endless black ribbon by the cruise control, passenger cosseted in climate controlled fresh air arriving hundreds of miles later bouncing with unsuppressed joy. On another adventure, loaded to the rafters with musical paraphernalia, suitcases, amplifiers, and costumes, the Lake District and THAT PASS presented no impediment to the car's abilities, and included the first excursion off-road, necessitating the use of that button. Oh the excitement.

But adventures apart, the daily grind, the normal slog from point one to point two in all weathers, in all traffic, with all loads? What about them? "Piece of cake" as an answer is not appropriate. This is a Yeti, so the answer has to be "Yeah - flexible, man!".

Flexible - all bar that ruddy rear-view fixed mirror.

This vehicle has proved its worth - snow, dry, mud, grass, ditch, verge, and yet when wet leaves tricked it when avoiding the yapping snarling baying pack of welsh farm collies on a corner of their patch, just before the bit where they abandon their pursuit of vehicular prey to return to glare balefully from behind a barn door, it slid ever-so-gracefully into a noxious mixture of manure, more wet leaves, mud, stones, bones, at the edge, and collected a mass of foreign material somewhere in the nether regions. This unwisely accumulated collection of crud served to provide the only alarming occurrence of the entire twelve months. The following day this Yeti, normally mild-mannered and compliant in extreme, developed the greatest urge to break free. The steering wheel vibrated alarmingly and the whole body shooogled and cavorted - as if there was a passenger hidden underneath, in the shape of one of those malevolent welsh farm collies trapped in the steering suspension. Fortunately it was only crud, and no animals were hurt in the finding out of the fact.

Two services for £200, four tyres for £600, insurance for £300, tax for £155, gunk for £36, carwash for £5.50, depreciation for 13%, fuel for £3300, consumption for 43.7, oil for nowt, - these are the sterling costs, while the nervous costs have been virtually zero. Against that can be weighed the size of the smile, the lightening of the heart, the sheer pleasure of heated seats, solidity, comfort, the view, the steering wheel, performance, space, sound, and the sight of (for this owner) the very best most satisfying vehicle ever owned sat outside the front door waiting for tomorrow's new journey to begin - and of ducking and diving around that rear-view mirror, forever.

So, George, the privilege of an early reply falls to me.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, so like it. Fine.

But, what was the week on the naughty step for?........that's what we all want to know.

But, seriously...(Do we do serious?).....Really pleased you've had so much pleasure and practicality from it since you'd had it. Top man!

Edited 12 May, 201115 yr by oldstan

Just had to edit the above, spelt privilege wrong, for the millionth time in my life. Sorry about that.

But as I'm here again...I presume it's the fact that the mirror is obscuring your view out, especially when turning or looking left and you have to dip, duck and dive your bonce to see under it?

You must have the auto lighting thingy that magically turns things on and off, so at least you know it would be even worse without that particular bit of trickery as without it the mirror is lower still.

Edited 12 May, 201115 yr by oldstan

Hi Freshacre

Another wonderful read.....as usual and I agree about that mirror, still too low in the Elegance with the auto everything.

I duck and dive all the time around London, or wherever Elsie the Helipad guides me

Mike

Having only got my green monster yesterday and driving 250 miles round cheshire to-day you give hope me that my planned trip to friends near John o Groats will be a good one, I only have to do another 1,000 miles and we will be ready to tow the wheeled garden shed we call a caravan ;-)) tnx for the posting.

Edited 12 May, 201115 yr by bribagz

Well, George,

That was quite a challenge. It just begs for a cute, clever and intelligent response. However, I am feeling dumb this morning, so no literary golden nuggets available from here.

You do risk an appointment to Poet Laureate of the Yeti generation.

The mirror position is there to save us from utopia.

Are you making a bid for the Bardic crown boyo?

http://www.eisteddfod.org.uk/english/content.php?nID=346

Hi Freshacre.

Usually I speed read such posts skipping large portions, but this one deserved to be read properly.

If you don't write short stories for a living then I think you've mssed your true vocation!

Hi Freshacre.

Usually I speed read such posts skipping large portions, but this one deserved to be read properly.

If you don't write short stories for a living then I think you've mssed your true vocation!

Thank you for those few kind words!!

The aim is to raise a quiet smile, as well as sharing a few facts and figments.

George,

what more can one say? An excellent review as only you could pen.

Bobdog,

as George is a fellow Celt we might let him enter, but then I know what he is like as a singer.

Find him here:

(He's the one strumming the guitar, by the way)

Edited 13 May, 201115 yr by Llanigraham

George,

what more can one say? An excellent review as only you could pen.

Bobdog,

as George is a fellow Celt we might let him enter, but then I know what he is like as a singer.

Find him here:

(He's the one strumming the guitar, by the way)

Where on EARTH did you dig that up from? Someone's videos that off their television!!

Grrrrr. (But check out the Bantam **** - from the same source!!)

Where on EARTH did you dig that up from? Someone's videos that off their television!!

Grrrrr. (But check out the Bantam **** - from the same source!!)

George,

I just looked on YouTube under The Hat Band.

Yer tis:

Edited 13 May, 201115 yr by Llanigraham

Where on EARTH did you dig that up from? Someone's videos that off their television!!

Grrrrr. (But check out the Bantam **** - from the same source!!)

T'was me who uploaded it and captured it from my TV, so you can grumble at me George! (nothing unusual there then!) you did ask me if i could upload some more, as neither of us have figured how to capture clips of DVD on to the old Mac.

Selly.