Uh-oh apparently a dog-sliegh has cut the 33k link. This came in over the radio:

.-- .. - .... .... . -.-. -.- .-.. . .-. .- -. -.. -.- --- -.-. .... ... -- .--. ..... --..-- -.-- --- ..- .-. -.. .- ..- --. .... - . .-. ... -.-. .- -. .... .- ...- . --. . - .- ... -- .- -. -.-- --- ..-. - .... --- ... . - .. -. -. -.-- - --- -.-- - .... .. -. --. ... .- ... - .... . -.-- .-.. .. -.- . ... .- -. - .-

Dear Santa

I suffer badly from schizophrenia - half of me would quite like a Yeti, but the other half thinks they are a crock of sheite

F*CK, W*NK, B*LL*CKS

Yours

Brimma

PS - I also suffer from Tourettes

Another carrier pidgeon arrived (still avoiding Wales):

Ah Brimma,

Sorry to hear your both still suffering. Whilst waiting for my vRS to be serviced the other day, I over-heard a Yeti owner asking how to change the fog-light bulb. I was somewhat dismayed on hearing that you have to take the front of the Yeti apart to achieve this. I was so shocked that on my way back to The Pole, I had to warn my friend Meh-Teh that someone was comming to take his front off!

Personally I wouldn't have a Yeti as they are very difficult to house-train and do eat rather a lot of cabbages and small children.

Mrs Claus says that she'd knit you something to help with your Tourettes, but she f?cking can't find the right b?ll?cks to knit the w?nk into, and would an After Eight mint do instead?

Santa f?ckin' Claus

Dear Santa,

Having been good (ish) for all year and having joined the Octavia clan in July, could I please have a spare set of Proteus wheels, so that I can swap between Summer and Winter tyres easier.

Many thanks.

Tony P (52 and a biggish bit)

PS Oh and socks please, lots of socks.

PPS Best laugh I've had in a while (sad but true), seasons best wishes to all

Dear Santa,

I do not have any wishes to find a fancy car on christmas morning (although Shakira would be a nice suprise )

I work at Shark Performance, and we shall be closing as of tomorrow until the New Year.

I just wish for all to have a very happy, warm and Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year

All my love,

Cheryl

Aged 23 +5 months

P.S Seriously... Shakira?

Dear Santa,

I do not have any wishes to find a fancy car on christmas morning (although Shakira would be a nice suprise )

I work at Shark Performance, and we shall be closing as of tomorrow until the New Year.

I just wish for all to have a very happy, warm and Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year

All my love,

Cheryl

Aged 23 +5 months

P.S Seriously... Shakira?

With all the speed of a Shark'd Octy this message arrived by ticker tape.

Dear Cheryl, (and all at Shark)

Your good work, assistance and humour at Shark have not gone un-noticed and I am considering putting in the sleigh for a touch of your tender loving care next year (as soon as I've cleared Rudolph's "presents" out of it.)

I shall do my very best to make your christmas wish come true as well, as it is indeed such a self-less act of kindness.

Miss Ripoll will be delivered on Sunday, and has apologised in advance for any winter clothing that she may have forgotten. :giggle:

In a change from the norm, Mrs Claus has asked if there's any performance enhancements you could make to her knitting needles to accomodate the increase in demand?

I'm sure I speak for all the good boys and girls (and maybe the not-so-good ones too) on Briskoda when I wish all at Shark a merry christmas and a prosperous 2012!

Santa

Dear Santa,

Having been good (ish) for all year and having joined the Octavia clan in July, could I please have a spare set of Proteus wheels, so that I can swap between Summer and Winter tyres easier.

Many thanks.

Tony P (52 and a biggish bit)

PS Oh and socks please, lots of socks.

PPS Best laugh I've had in a while (sad but true), seasons best wishes to all

More ticker tape: (seems to be the most reliable at the moment)

Hi Tony P,

Mrs Claus has stopped making socks this year now, I'm afraid as she has worn out her knitting needles. She does seem to have found an endless supply of After-Eight mints though and hopes a couple of those will be acceptable replacements.

Sadly we have run-out of wheels this year due to the sudden demand for winter wheels. It does seem that those clever marketing people at the tyre companies have been hard at work this year. Although given that winter wheels are much narrower than normal ones, I wondered if a set of those "pram wheels" that some people have as spares would do the trick instead? Or, in a quest for very narrow wheels, how about a whole winter car instead? (A 2CV springs to mind: narrow wheels and a complete lack of power would give excellant travel abilities in the snow.)

Have a good christmas young man!

Santa C.

(Age: Stack Overflow error)

Dear Santa, I don't know if I've been good or bad. I mean, I think I've been good but am I really the one to judge anyhoo, I'd like only 2 things: A long and happy marriage to my darling wife and World peace.

Pssssssst, if you're not oversubscribed for remaps then one of those wouldn't go amiss

Dear Santa, I don't know if I've been good or bad. I mean, I think I've been good but am I really the one to judge anyhoo, I'd like only 2 things: A long and happy marriage to my darling wife and World peace.

Pssssssst, if you're not oversubscribed for remaps then one of those wouldn't go amiss

This was a new one on me: carrier mole! And I'm the the 6th floor too! :o

Dear Mr Extravagant,

I can assure you that our "Naughty/Nice" judging panel is made up of the finest judges available. Simon Cowell, Jeremy Kyle and Len Goodman. All take an un-biased view on how you've behaved this year and judge accordingly.

Your wife has expressed a similar request, and being such a mutual request, I'm inclined to grant this. (However your wife has reserved the right to change her mind at any time, in lieu of receiving breakfast in bed on christmas day, her birthday, your birthday and every sunday until december 31st 2020. She says you should already know how she likes her eggs.)

World Peace is such a popular request, I'm not sure there's enough to go around, although its prospects have looked a little better since Dubya moved out of the Whitehouse a few years ago.

Mrs Claus has found some new knitting needles and is making you a pair of socks (suprise!). In honour of your name, she's makeing them in gold with a Proton logo on them.

As for your request of a remap, I can put you intouch with nice young lady called Cheryl, I'm sure she could help do something for you your car.

Must start thinking about loading up the sleigh soon.

I think I'll have a brandy first.

Santa

Edited 22 December, 201114 yr by RainbowFore

Hi all,

Santa's had a few brandys, the sleigh still hasn't even started to be packed, and having had a few minutes to himself (people have slowed down making requests the now) he thought he'd share which chimney he'd be going down first on Sunday and granting a few wishes......

Dear Santa, I don't know if I've been good or bad. I mean, I think I've been good but am I really the one to judge anyhoo, I'd like only 2 things: A long and happy marriage to my darling wife and World peace.

Pssssssst, if you're not oversubscribed for remaps then one of those wouldn't go amiss

As fast as the giraffe's legs would carry it, santa passed this message on:

Dear Mr Extravagance,

FromShark's Facebook page:

Shark Performance

We are feeling extra Christmassy today, and have decided to go bonkers with a last-minute SALE! £150 OFF remaps and packages deals if booked and payed for today (23rd December), BEFORE 1PM!! Call us NOW and say "MERRY CHRISTMAS" on 01623 332233 before it's too late!!!!

Happy Holidays indeed!

Santa

As fast as the giraffe's legs would carry it, santa passed this message on:

Dear Mr Extravagance,

FromShark's Facebook page:

Shark Performance

We are feeling extra Christmassy today, and have decided to go bonkers with a last-minute SALE! £150 OFF remaps and packages deals if booked and payed for today (23rd December), BEFORE 1PM!! Call us NOW and say "MERRY CHRISTMAS" on 01623 332233 before it's too late!!!!

Happy Holidays indeed!

Santa

Many thanks!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! XXXXXXXXX

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3kr53PJuJo&feature=player_embedded