Yes. I'm just an amateur but I like to submerse myself in cleaning my motors, better than having instructions from swmbo to tidy the under stairs cupboard should I be idle.

Yes. I'm just an amateur but I like to submerse myself in cleaning my motors, better than having instructions from swmbo to tidy the under stairs cupboard should I be idle.

Bernie

You have actually touched on one of the most significant difference between the male and female psyche. Why is it that women feel a cupboard needs to be tidied? Usually, because it's full. But isn't there another less-full cupboard that things that must be kept can get added to?

No, ladies want us to clear things out, throw things away, make more space. It is, like crime in multi-storey carparks, just wrong on so many levels.

It is the same with sheds. When a garden shed is full, a lady thinks it should be cleared out. Of course it shouldn't! That is the time to start building (or buy) another shed!

Enough of my rant......

Now, the sun's shining. Must go and give the wife's car a quick once over with some spray-detailer

You could try my cleaning method as above

My perfect way of claening a car-

I use shampoo that graces Elle McPherson dressing table (she reputedley uses the most expensive shampoo in the world to wash her soft downy pussy at least twice a day) and and rinse with 1 billion year old thawed ice from the North Pole, excavated by Meteorology scientists only once every 10 years.

Final rinse is much the same as the first except the iced water must come from the South Pole, King Penguins are reputedly the best means to find the ice but only when they are ovulating, the Meteorologists have follow them for some weeks to locate the correctly aged ice, no mean feat in a wilderness so cold.

Drying is then accomplished with a silk dressing gown specially gifted to me by Jane Fonda, you know, the one she wore in Dr. No and is very sensitive to detergents so it has never been washed since it left her curvy body just after filming, I covert that dressing gown, it will never leave my possesion, some say it's worth a fortune on Ebay, but no, I'll never sell!

I then shine the paintwork up with wax which is a product of a very rare Bee only found in nests on trees that overhang the Angel Falls in a very precarious position, the wax can only be collected by naked bronzed Venezuelan girls on a leap day, these girls are are hand picked every 4 years by myself and have to prove themselves to me to be a Virgin, the bees don't sting virgins apparently.

Incidently the polishing cloth is a natural fibre type made of Egyptian cotton and used hang on the towel rail of Katherine Jenkins apartment when she was single, the towel was regularly used by Katherine to dry those very intimate parts of her body and again never been washed since, I nicked it from her bathroom a few years ago in my days of being a plumber when I was called out to unblock her showertray waste, yes folks it was blocked up with a lot short soft blonde curley hair. I'll never forget that job.

De ja vu.....

Anybody ever looked at pics over on detailingworld? Those guys are complete gimps! 300 pictures of one car clean!

Need to get some mates and a bird