Seriously? 

 

...and don't give me this ole guff about them being shiny, as it was actually quite shiny before I washed it.

Is it because it's black?   :|

 

Sick of it .   

Coz you did a **** job!

It's because birds are dickheads.

I was digging the garden earlier, I lent my spade against the wheel barrow for 30 seconds and a bloody bird managed to poo on the spade handle!

The do it just to annoy you.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

I was digging the garden earlier, I lent my spade against the wheel barrow for 30 seconds and a bloody bird managed to poo on the spade handle!

The do it just to annoy you.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

I'd swear they really are becoming smart and watch you, cackling to themselves in the trees with delight in anticipation. 

 

I love birds, but they really do push the boundaries of patience. 

 

Just washed and polished the front end...... again.

Edited 26 May, 201412 yr by Mr Ree

Its not just birds. Routinely pick up the dog mess from our pair of Staffies only to return from the bin to find the girl standing over a freshly coiled dog egg. 

 

 Its nature's way of getting us back for running over pigeons, hedgehogs and Tiptonites. 

It's because birds are dickheads.

^ This.

 

 

Also, if the 'good book' is anything to go by, 40 days and nights of rain might have been enough to get rid of all the evil cows, ants and people, but those birds will have been just fine.  All of those evil, feathered cretins would have just been flying round, taking dumps on the ark. 

I thought we all knew that young juvenile birds use houses initially as target practice then move on to cars and then our heads when they have past their apprenticeship in poo bombing

 then our heads when they have past their apprenticeship in poo bombing

 

That certainly applies to the b****y seagulls in Whitby, twice in 15 minutes (with a hair wash in between)!

 

I suspect that statistically they are just as likely to crap on a dirty car as a clean one, we just notice it more on a clean one.

That's seagulls everywhere I'm afraid

 

 

I suspect that statistically they are just as likely to crap on a dirty car as a clean one, we just notice it more on a clean one.

 

I dunno why but the ******s always do it.

 

I'm going to put a bird  bath in the garden with a platform above and eat some of that Iceland super hot vindaloo and drop some toxic waste  on the little fkers in revenge.

 

I was told once that they think a shiny car is water and they like to poop in water. But I don't believe it, they're just pricks.

Edited 27 May, 201412 yr by Aspman

I dunno why but the ******s always do it.

 

I'm going to put a bird  bath in the garden with a platform above and eat some of that Iceland super hot vindaloo and drop some toxic waste  on the little fkers in revenge.

 

I was told once that they think a shiny car is water and they like to poop in water. But I don't believe it, they're just pricks.

 

Have you told them this?

 

Think I'll turn my head skywards and shout it out  with clenched fists...John Cleese stryle....next time it happens.

A sound thrashing with a shrubbery might also work

I can feel a Fawlty Towers clip coming on here you know!  :love:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTQfGd3G6dg&list=PLhelQUIPb1r8SJhEb1CQPeKVyYvcMhMrh

 

Sorry I love the Holy Grail much more than Fawlty Towers.

Buy a green car see http://www.tgdaily.com/general-sciences-features/64262-birds-prefer-pooping-on-red-cars

I like how they manage to **** on my upstairs windows, considering they are right under the fascia which is about 12" wide

They must drop their guts with force as they swoop past the window at warp speed in a kind of jet fighter manoeuvre 

Ballistic trajectory. Seagulls have independently evolved bomb sights.

 

I'm not sure of the evolutionary pressure that has pushed dinosaurs into becoming small, feathered, disruptive arseholes. I must ask Dawkins.

Shouldn't the OP (Mr Ree) be asking this question on the RSPB website?

Nah! F*** it I'm buying a shotgun I don't care how cute the little bar stewards are!

 

**it on my car after the 5 hour wash, dry, hoover and polish ritual and they deserve whatever they get. 

Edited 27 May, 201412 yr by Coffin Dodger

Typical my car has just been shat all over

Isn't dropping one's guts reckoned to be a response to fear, a behaviour that has evolved to assist creatures in fleeing that bit faster from perceived danger? And if you're a lightweight flying creature, dumping (relatively) heavy liquid waste must be especially important in making you that bit lighter and therefore able to accelerate away, and if needs be make sudden turns too, to evade the danger! Just a thought!  But parking under trees or lamp-posts has to be asking for trouble.....!

And I can imagine that a very shiny car looks like water, and for land-dwelling birds the prospect of crash-landing into water must be pretty scary....

Gave my octy & pug a good clean inside & out on monday........came outside this morning & im guessing a bird the size of a elephant had **** all over the roofs of both cars............................