i wouldnt sleep and drive it or the full 24hrs :)

Forgive my ignorance, but isn’t Spork fighting illegal in several countries? Or is it an underground pursuit (which would be handy given your Rabbit connections) I remember reading that the game was thrown into turmoil in the 17th century when some clever tactician invented the flying wedgie formation and this was soon followed by the great turnip famine of Japan, as isn’t this the natural and sole diet of the Spork? You will have to show a photo of your victory paddles sometime.

Spork fighting is in a bit of a grey area. It's illegal in 44 states of the US (last time I checked at least) and Russia, but most of Europe allows it (or at least tolerates it).

However, I think you may be a little confused - I wasn't clear enough. I am a spork-fighter in the sense that I am a practitioner of Goku-Sporku, the world's second deadliest martial art. I certainly don't indulge in any sort of animal cruelty - as I recall there is another Spork, which is a smaller relation of the badger, but with a longer tail and floppier ears. I believe they are indiginous to the Asia-Pacific region. I have, in fact, campaigned for many years against the latter sort of spork fighting and have been seconded to Interpol on numerous occasions to help with their work in the area.

Spork fighting (as I do it) involves the use of Japanese Fighting Sporks, developed from the popular item of hybrid cutlery (a cross between a spoon and a fork, hence the name). The weapons used in Goku-Sporku, however, are usually 2-3 feet long and made from folded steel, the construction being similar to that of a katana (samurai sword). The tines can cause particularly grevious injury.

I'd post a picture of the spork with which I won the 1998 and 2002 world championships, but I believe that that is still technically illegal in the UK - it has to be housed in an upgraded version of a firearms safe and may only be removed for officially sanctioned training and competitive events. Normally we spar with bamboo sporks - though believe me when I say that they still hurt a great deal!

For reference, here is a titanium spork, but of the eating-utensil variety:

i wouldnt sleep and drive it or the full 24hrs :)

Tempting, but I think sleep deprivation + 360bhp is unlikely to be a winning combination!

The idiot boy next door has a habit of wandering out each evening to his car (an old Golf GTI) and revving the engine for a bit. I plan to put him in his place if he tries it that night.

My faith in the milk of human kindness has now been restored to full health, thank you for the clarification. I didn

Sometimes I do wonder what you people have been smoking :confused:

Well, one does what one thinks is right.

Whilst we are up amongst the rarefied air of Sporks and the use thereof in martial arts, are you also perhaps an exponent of Splade fighting too? or is this the pursuit of ruffians?

I've seen a few Splade competitions, and there's a friendly rivalry, but it's not for me - if I am honest I lack the upper arm strength to ever be that good at it. I would, though, take issue with those that decry the Splade as inelegant - in the hands of a master it can be a thing of great beauty.

Of course, even a great Splade master couldn't stand up against a decent Sporkist. It's not the world's second deadliest martial art for nothing, you know!

red bull will keep u awake lol

True! And good and twitchy.

My good wife, Lady Bertie McHobnobs has pointed out a flaw in the overall plan. Well, about a dozen flaws. Namely the speedbumps on our road. Anyone know what the ground clearance on these things is?

Orrrr, some people have all the luck...me if i had luck it defo would be bad.....

Speaking of porsche, for 2 weeks ( starting tuesday) i have the bosses Suburu Legacy, am i correct in thinking that its fitted with the Boxter engine and it defo sounds the same as a porche from the cans......

Spevie ( oh and i get the fuel card with it as well, shame its petrol and my fabia is diesel, not that i would do owt un to wards mind...?)

:eek:

It has a Boxer engine - the term refers to it being a flat 4 and nothing to do with the Porsche.

Orrrr, some people have all the luck...me if i had luck it defo would be bad.....

Speaking of porsche, for 2 weeks ( starting tuesday) i have the bosses Suburu Legacy, am i correct in thinking that its fitted with the Boxter engine and it defo sounds the same as a porche from the cans......

Spevie ( oh and i get the fuel card with it as well, shame its petrol and my fabia is diesel, not that i would do owt un to wards mind...?)

:eek:

Speaking of porsche, for 2 weeks ( starting tuesday) i have the bosses Suburu Legacy, am i correct in thinking that its fitted with the Boxter engine and it defo sounds the same as a porche from the cans......

It probably does sound a little similar as it will probably have a flat 6 (if it's the 3.0L) which is the same configuration as the Porsche

Sporky McGuffin, you're my hero.

Why thank you. If I can inspire those around me then I can feel proud of my day's work.