Man oh man....what a helluva past four days I've had. I got sick last Wednesday and was bed-ridden for two days straight....and when I get sick, I really get weak, so I was like, completely de-energized. I'm feeling much better now, sleep works wonders when you're ill. Anyways, straight to the point....my old man took the new company car Cooper S in for its first service, and they give him an Alpina B3 S...

Alpina....not much one hears about....you certainly see them about...but they aren't hyped up about as much as, say, the M Division of BMW cars...which is a shame really, because they're quite underrated cars. And I say this because, even in Dubai, luxo-super car capital of the world, you don't see Alpinas on the road...it's always either an M3, and M5 or an M6. It does get quite tiring to see the same thing over and over again, which is why I'm usually happy when I get back home to Cyprus every summer and see little chavved up cars on the road, or nicely modified Japo elders.

Alpinas are for special people who deserve a car that's unique, know what top quality is, and like that fact that it's hand-made (pretty much).

So...about the Alpina B3S...

Just to start off to those who aren't vry familiar with it, It's got a 3.4 litre engine holding about 305bhp and a good 267lb/ft of torque. Standard specs show it hits 62mph from zero in about 5.2 seconds and top speed at about 280km/h.

So....how's it feel behind the wheel?

Interiors...beige. Alpina steering wheel with kn0bs and buttons all over it, cruise control, menu selection bla bla....behind the steering wheels are two buttons, left and right...no paddle-shifts...buttons...the switchtronic feature....left up, right down...overall, pretty much a BMW in stock form, with better seats, a nice sunroof and a serial number just above the rear-view mirror....the one outside is number 72.

Exteriors...like the one in the pic above, ALPINA bodykit and those funny robot line things....rear spoiler...bla.

Steering is quite a bit heavy, I guess it's got a lot to do with those 18" multi-spoke classic Alpina rims and the wide low-profile tyres, but when driving slow or in stationery, if this is the normal setting for all their cars, they might as well remove the power-steering and save quite a few bucks on the cost of the car. The ride on the road in 'cruise' is surprisingly smooth and pleasant, almost luxo-barge-ish, though you do feel the sports responsiveness of the car when you release the accelerator pedal, so it does get a bit rough when continuously tapping the accelerator. The car in general feels quite heavy, and makes you wonder while cruising if it handles as good as it runs.

Floor it...it's absolutely phenomenal is what it is is what it is! Yes, I wrote that twice! I mean, man....from stand still...I thought the 645i and Porsche Cayman S were fast and neck-snapping...which it is of course....but nothing like this little monster! This 3 series sports car would EAT those two for breakfast, lunch AND dinner. And the noise it makes too! It's just loud and evil....nothin' deep, but more like a wolf's howl! It hits 100km/h faster than 5 seconds, that needle hits 160km/h (12:00 on the dial) in absolutely no freakin' time! In-gear acceleration? Don't even ask. It hits 120km/h in second gear, and from 80km/h, does it before you can even blink.

Handling? From smooth and comfortable to responsive and sporty is not something you come across everyday...you have either smooth and comfortable, and therefore wallowy, or rugged and sporty, and therefore uncomfortable cruising....the B3S manages both. It has EXCELLENT grip on the road and has minimal roll. I mean you really feel the grip on the road doin' a sharp corner really fast....switch of ASR and floor it and you drift easy too, which happened last night with me What a helluva little monster.

You need to drive one to believe it...it's one helluva performer. If this courtesy car is for sale, and if it's within my budget, I'ma sell the Furby and take it...needs a bit of work, it's got 15,000 kms on it, but most of the work required would be inside the cabin.

I'd pick this over an M3 anytime...simply because it's rare. The M3 may have a little more power, but performance specs are pretty much the same all around, if not better.

Very good write up,

I have considered an Alpina here but the insurance on them is mega costly compared to the M cars.

I got a quote for a B3.4 S here and it was £750 more to insure than a regular M3.

So gave it a miss!!!

Always nice to see an Alpina. You are right about the exclusivity. I do see a D3 (320d) quite a bit localy tho. Always wondered about resale/insurance.

Nice right up and even nicer car!

Someone who appreciates BMW's

i like that car!!! but alas i think i i owned one i'd be dead before i even got home from the showroom

Mil, I need to move to the Emirates, where else would you get an alpina as a courtesy car when you drop in a mini

Not me dude, the old man does.

However from time to time when I drop my Fabia in for service they usually give me a Superb :P