OccyVRS

It's not the most generous space to work in, but it's most likely been disconnected for the box to be dropped. I think it's very unlikely to have gone at the same time!

A) The EPB will need to be released. Something like OBD11 will be able to do this. You might still need to wind the calipers in anyway (rears, not front), as there could be a sticking issue that's causing your noise. Generally, with noises like this, if it's not the wheel bearing, it's not knackered discs/pads, it's not something stuck in the dust shield then it'll be a sticking (dragging) caliper. The rear caliper pistons screw in and out as they operate, so you'll need to 'screw' or wind them back in. You can get a little tool for it - don't use a screwdriver as you can knacker the piston face. B) the mark on the hub face and disc are so that it's quick to put the disc back on when removing. Can you see all the holes in the brake disc hub/bell? The five large ones are for the wheel bolts, the three partial ones are part of the manufacturing process and then the little one with the bolt in it is just that - a disc retaining bolt. The disc only attaches to the hub one way (I.E. there is only one hole on the hub for the retaining bolt to go into. The lines make it nice and easy to just whack it on and do it up, without having to rotate the disc all the way around until the little bolt finds the little hole. See the picture below of the hub (bit behind the disc) and you'll see what I mean - you have the hub, followed by the brake disc, followed by the wheel. The wheel bolts pass through the disc, and screw into the hub. All that holds the brake disc on when the wheel and bolts are off is the retaining bolt, plus whatever rust/brake dust/magic stuff has built up over the years. On a newer car they should come off with a tap, on an older car you might need to break out the mallet, or worse. Those pen marks are not a factory thing (AFAIK), but a mechanic/DIY thing. It means those rear discs have been off before. Unless you're cleaning the hub, disc, and wheel faces before re-installing, it's always a good idea to put everything back in the same orientation as it was before.

I'm not certified and definitely not a professional, but I did moonlight as a helping hand at a supercar detailing place for a summer during uni. Okay, so I did mainly just snow foam G-Wagons and hoover Ferrari floor mats, but I did pick up some good tips and earn £130 a day while I was at it! One good tip is to always make sure the lance is securely on the pressure washer, before using it. Don't ask me how I know - definitely didn't chip a Urus wheel shooting the metal lance at it. Luckily though, I know this guy that is going to help me do a paint correction on my car in September. The only thing I'll add, with regard to sealant, is if the car is a few years old and hasn't had much in the way of paintwork love (like mine), you might find that the behaviour after sealant isn't that good (or at least, not like Instagram). You'll need to hit it with a clay bar to remove all the small bits of rubbish. A good rule of thumb with cleaning a car is to never let anything dry - sealant especially, but general soap and stuff too. It's nice to apply snow foam/pre wash when the car is dry, but there's no shame in cooling the paintwork off beforehand, if it needs it. Regarding brake calipers - lots of people use acid but I actually prefer, as you said, to do a gentle bit, little and often. I use citrus pre wash and a detailing brush for the calipers - the paint isn't the best and it does a nice job whilst not being too aggressive on anything. I will hit it with a wheel cleaner every few months, but I try not to make a habit of it. One nice benefit of not using wheel cleaner (fallout/iron remover) is that it doesn't completely strip your discs. This means they don't rust, and the first drive you go on, the wheels don't turn orange as you brake! Oh, and tyre shine is overrated. Whoops.

I agree, even though they are probably in the same segment (technically). Tyres are the best thing you can do to a car - it always pains me to see an M3 riding on £70 no name tyres.

+1 for sound proofing. The three things to do with cheaper VW cars is to a) add a sub b) swap out the front door speakers and c) add soundproofing everywhere!

What happened in 2013-15? DQ381 wasn't around till 2017. I was under the impression (generally) that the 381 was one of the more reliable DSG boxes (the DQ200 likes to have issues, that I do know). Ultimately, it's a robotised dual clutch transmission, so when things go wrong, they are going to be pricey and be shouted about. Certainly, I've only really heard good things about the DQ3XX or DL3XX.

Yes, we've done the journey (600+ mile) in many cars, taking various times do it. I think the record was just under eight hours, however that as done by my dad in 1994 (brand new 2.9 VR6 Golf company car, with two fuel stops and nothing else). That being said, taking fourteen hours to do it, over two days, with ACC and CarPlay, is a much better experience. When buying the Octavia, I had to have cruise control, but I didn't really care if it was smart, dumb or what. Even when I first got it, I couldn't work out what the fuss with ACC was about - then, around two months after buying it, I took it up to Scotland in one day, and I understood! I've done the London-Southampton run probably 100 times over the last four years. From M25/M3, M25/A31, M23/A27, to completely cross country, at all hours and driving styles in various cars, I've decided that it doesn't make much difference how fast you drive. Your speed is governed by external factors, such as traffic, speed cameras or how long it takes at KFC in Cobham. Unless the journey is ten hours long and you're doing 100mph versus 60mph, it's not worth it. I've watched people fly past me doing well over the limit, only to end up fifty feet ahead when we hit a jam. The car is locked, although I've had to leave the bonnet propped open as I felt it was a bit close to the clamps when resting closed. I see the appeal of attaching a permanent connector to the positive, however I don't really expect to be charging it more than once a year - I usually cover plenty of miles.

Yes, and assuming whatever 4G module/SIM/part is backwards compatible. Mine is a 2020 Mk3.5 facelift - I've had that entire trim piece (from the camera to the interior lights) out when I was doing my dashcam. I don't remember seeing anything significant - certainly I don't think it's a 'go to O2 and put a new SIM in' job. The other consideration is that I would imagine it is most useful in a remote area with less people and, likely, less signal. An SMS message may get through to 999, but will a phone call to a call centre? I'm not sure. I might look into it with mine at some point, but I can't say I really care that much.

So if the SOS feature on a car is 3G compatible only (10s of thousands, I think you said), then what? Will those cars become subject to a mandatory recall, before they can be driven? Even if it's a few thousand cars, that will take months for dealers to get around to retrofitting whatever they need (assuming it's a straight swap). Not to mention the other interesting thing - coverage. What if I have a car that is 3G only, and driving around one area I have 3G coverage, but then going to another area I don't?

Good. I was going to say, I went through Auxillis when some muppet ran up the back of me a few years ago, and it was a nightmare. As long as the body shop is VW approved, you'll be fine. Best of luck - it's unfortunate and inconvenient, but such is life.

Are you going through Admiral (either your fault, or paying your excess) or are you going through Auxillis?

@nta16 all plugged in. It's not the best connection to the positive terminal due to the clamp on it, but I don't have the energy to disconnect the battery - it'll do.

I'm seeing OP has a Kodiaq 2.0 TDI SE? Again, I'm not at all suggesting what you're saying is wrong - I know the MCU unit on these boxes is a point of failure, in the same way that the water pump/thermostat is on the 2.0 petrol engines. Any model, from any brand, will have apparently crippling issues - it sounds like you have just been unlucky. If you look here, you can see another thread on it, or something similar. There's something like 60,000 Kodiaq's in the UK, so seeing forum posts with say, fifty of them, isn't bad going. Unfortunately, replacing the MCU is expensive. Doing anything with the DSG is probably the most expensive service thing you'll do with the car. Have you spoken/seen a specialist, or just Skoda? If the car isn't under warranty I'm not sure I'd be going to Skoda - an independent place will probably do the same job, for a bit less and do a better and more thorough service. Equally, are Skoda not offering anything? If VW (Audi?) in the US are doing the job FoC, then surely Skoda UK would at least offer something toward it? You may have to get a bit creative and persuasive. They are good cars - but, like anything, they do have faults. I think you've just been quite unlucky and had it 60,000 miles sooner than others.

Are we talking about 3G or a G3 (Gulfstream III) 😝 4G will be around for a while. It is the basis of most networks, with 5G not being established enough yet. I would expect it to be phased out in the mid 2030s. 3G though, will be gone by the end of the year. EU regs require the SOS function, but as we’re in the land of the free, apparently, doesn’t that mean the older versions will be alright? I can’t say I know what my car is, or if I’m really fussed. A lot of cars use 2G for traffic updates and OTA things, so they’ll be alright for now. No idea when that gets switched off.

Is yours a 7 speed or 6 speed box? 6 speed will be 40,000 miles (DQ250) whereas the 7 speed is 80,000 (DQ381) although most people, myself included, do it every 40k. MCU failure on the DQ381 is an issue, however the reason you've probably seen so many instances of failure is likely because they are such a common box. The DQ381 is used in stuff like Golf GTI/R, vRS, S3 and Cupra, as well as more 'average' models like the Kodiaq, Tiguan, etc - many cars push well north of 400/500bhp, on a stock gearbox, without any issues. I know one that is on 83,000 miles, and his S3 is putting out just under 620nm. I'm not saying you're wrong - I'm just saying that I don't think it's an immensely crippling fault. There is some info here, as well as in other threads. @Ootohere might be able to shed some light on this. FWIW, look at the issues with early Ford Ecoboost engines. Now that is a flaw! For reference, these are the cars that use a DQ381 box - VW Golf 8 GTI 2020+ VW Golf 8 GTI Clubsport 2020+ VW Golf 8 R 2020+ VW Golf 7 & 7.5 2013-2020 VW Passat B8 2015+ VW Arteon 2017+ VW T-Roc 2017+ VW Tiguan II 2016+ VW Jetta / GLI 7 2018+ Audi S3 8Y 2020+ Audi A3 2.0 TSI 8Y 2020+ Audi S3 8V 2013-2020 Audi A3 8V 2013-2020 Audi TT 3 8S 2014+ Audi SQ2 2018+ Cupra Leon IV FW 2020+ SEAT Leon IV FW 2020+ SEAT Leon III Cupra 5F 2014-2020 SEAT Leon III 5F 2015-2020 Cupra Ateca 2018+ Cupra Formentor 2020+ SEAT Ateca 2016+ SEAT Tarraco FR Sport 2.0 TSI 245ps 2021+ Skoda Octavia IV NX 2020+ Skoda Octavia III 5E 2014-2020 Skoda Octavia II 1Z 2004-2013 Skoda Superb III 3V 2015+ Skoda Superb III 3V 2015+ You'll agree, with that many cars, any reasonably uncommon problem is going to seem very common, very quickly.

Blinding flash at the start sounds good to me - the queue to Heaven will be quite long, so I may as well be near the front. The only caveat to that I can think of is, does it require Skoda Connect (or whatever it's called now) to be activated? Mine has never been activated, although I've also never pressed the SOS button. If I press the info button (should bring up the in-game menu and map) or the spanner button (should repair damage to car) I get a voice telling me nothing is set up. Apparently it's a separate thing to the SOS button (I did speak to Skoda at some point, for some reason) so the basic SOS feature should work, however I wonder if their Big Brother status service requires it to be activated...

For the record - I've never spoken to this man before in my life... bit of an aggressive way to speak to a stranger, but each to their own I suppose. My current cannon/lance is on the way out, so will probably use that as the sealant one when I get another. I didn't look very hard because I knew I'd just ask you when I remembered. I'll take credit for the idea - the fact that your execution of said idea is poor, frankly, is beyond the scope of my genius.

Issue aside (have you had the gearbox serviced, as it's due?)... ŠKODA USA doesn't exist..?

I mean when the zombies do come and the ICBMs start flying, they will have the last laugh. Until then though, I'll take my chances. After all, I've seen enough post-apocalyptic movies to know I'd rather be taken out by a missile in my car, than hang around for the world that comes after. Anyway, back to the SOS button 😂

Wagner Tuning Intercooler. Wagner Tuning Boost pipes/hose (turbo to intercooler, intercooler to throttle body). RS3 Brake Ducts. SHW Clubsport discs. HEL braided lines You're welcome 🤭

I use citrus pre wash and then snow foam. I know they're both technically pre-washes, but I used the citrus to break down everything, and then the snow foam to lubricate the car for some action with the detailing brushes. I've yet to find a sealant that I can put down the lance like I did when I used to work for a detailer. It would be nice, as a little spray bottle gets tiring.

Daft question - is the horn(s) accessible at all? I just wonder if you can stuff a rag in/over it until the battery runs out. It won't silence it, but should help. FYI - you'll be able to disable interior monitoring and/or the towing away alarm, but I doubt this can be disabled. I would just remove the battery, put up with it for a bit (can't be more than 30 minutes, surely) and let the thing die completely. I would lock all of the doors with the key, then open the drivers door manually with the key and open the bonnet. If everything dies with the car unlocked, you are only usually able to lock/unlock the drivers door with the key. If it's completely dead, you won't be able to lock the boot/other doors. Even if you were to get an OBD scanner to see the fault, and it was the sensor, you wouldn't be able to fix it would you? The only option sounds like securing the car, dead, and taking it to the dealer in two weeks. Now I'm curious...........

That sort of thing never hurts - it can only help. The automatic call feature I mean - the airbags definitely will hurt. I am a frequent mountain biker (as in, downhill drops in Welsh mountains rather than cross country in the Surrey Hills) and even though I can't remember the last time I rode without friends, both my Apple Watch and Garmin are set up to call home if they detect a crash (be it accelerometer based, heart rate or whatever). It's the same reason I carry around torches, a first aid/basic trauma kit, road flare (whoops) and a few other bits and bobs in the boot. I hope, and expect I'll never need them, but I'd rather carry them and be laughed at by anyone that looks under my boot floor, than be in a position some day that they're needed. I do a lot of travelling up in the North of Scotland. I'm not in Sutherland and the like that often anymore (they are quite remote) but even in places where the emergency services are 30 minutes away or signal is poor (which is a fair bit of the journey up there, actually), something as silly as an Amazon tourniquet or flashing warning beacon could make the difference between being on local news, or national news. To be clear - I'm not one of these EDC/Prepper people - I don't go to the shops with paracord, a penknife and fire starter. I just think it's better to be prepared and not need something, than need it and wish you had it - be it an emergency packet of Haribo, an Amazon trauma kit or a bin bag for when I inevitably spill sauce down myself when out for dinner. I don't carry a spare wheel, though. The car didn't come with one, and if I were to buy one, where would I keep my zombie apocalypse bug-out pack?

@TheUltraRunner what wheels are those? They look very nice. I would argue that PPF makes sense only on a pristine, garaged car. As soon as the car is outside 24/7, my opinion is that the benefit of the PPF starts to wear off, as the wheels, plastics and the like are exposed to the elements anyway. If I were to buy a new/almost new car, I would likely PPF the front end, just to avoid stone chips, and call it a day. It would be different if it were a 911, as above, but in the real world for a daily driver, I think the car is exposed to too many risks to justify PPF or the like. If it's a garaged, weekend car then sure, that's different. Ceramic coating is a different story, but as @travs can confirm, it is not a magic solution (in the same way that PPF is). It's also worth noting that cars tend to come from the factory a little worse for wear (even Porsche!), simply due to the transportation and manufacturing processes. A good top down detail, decontamination and paint correction would be my first port of call, before applying any PPF/Ceramic/etc

I'm assuming since you're able to access a computer, you've filled the washer bottle? By dribble, do you mean a constant dribble, or what looks like the last of what's left in the tube? If both front and rear have failed, then the issue is likely the pump - can you hear it try? Does it sound like it's dying, only make a noise for front or back, etc? It's a £60 part if genuine - have a search on here and you'll find a similar post on the Mk3 section from a few days ago.