Edited 12 March, 201016 yr by Freshacre

The local Army Surplus store may have a few WWII AA guns left..............

A couple of Hawk silhouettes or clay models might help keep them away.

Did you ask about a gazebo? Probably the best solution. Spring Bird !!!!! is not too bad but the Autumn stuff, when they have been at the blackberries, is lethal stuff.

If you get a gazebo for the car you can use it in the garden, on the beach etc. The one I suggested from EazyGazebos is really good, has sides included and is of a high quality construction.

Washmitt, car shampoo solution in a bucket (with a grit guard in place, or a separate rinse bucket). The only way to sort something of that magnitude really! For smaller 'issues' Autoglym do some decent bird muck removal wipes, which are quite handy to have in the car.

As for a deterrent or solution, a natural predator should do it - ever thought about taking up falconry or similar? :p Or yes, a car-port/cover/gazebo/garage...

Steve

Hi Gang again

This is me on a brand new Hobby-Horse, or should that be hobby-bird. The next door farmer has a million starlings feeding with his cattle and sheep.

The cattle and sheep are OK because they poo on the ground and you learn to drive around it, or through it so that it splatters the guy driving too close behind ()

The starlings are something else. They do nothing as individuals. They do it en masse. They are prolific. They squawk as they roost - and then set off at a hundred miles an hour to explore this little hamlet and see what wanton destruction and havoc they can wreak on us mere mortals who are ground-bound.

Their efforts as efficient dive-bombers are incredible. Nothing is safe. Not even a cuppa tea in the garden!

And the car... ... ...oh the car! I am certain that they aim directly for it. All the dollops are the same size - 3ch across, but of differing depths. Some are 1cm deep, and some more. Some are brown, and some are a mixture of grey and white. Some leave trails as they bounce across the paintwork, some have droplets where they splash.

When they are on the aerial bombardment mode of existence the sky is black - perhaps just from their bodies and wings, but also from the deluge of turds they let fly.

So, fellow Skodians is this. How do I protect the vehicle, firstly; and secondly - how does one remove the stuff properly. All ideas welcome.

George

PS - there are far far too many of the buggers to consider taking a pop at them.

PPS - i've just discovered emoticons. Oh - you guessed!

And I thought I had problems with the odd pigeon or starling

Protection wise I'd say the best you can do is get a couple of layers of a decent sealant/wax on there. If should of course be wiped off asap though and for this I usually moisten a bit of kitchen roll under the hot tap and place it over the affected area. Leave it for a minute and it loosens the worst off without scratching the paint.

Good luck!

I like the gazebo idea - a sort of temp garage anchored to the tarmac by a 4 breeze blocks. Mmmm - the bu**ers would probably take to nesting under it!

I also like the thought of a stuffed owl perched on the roof rail of the Yeti. That has an "appropriate" feel to it, just so long as I remembered to remove it before driving off!!!

G

Yep Lee's tip works well - you just need to avoid scratching the paintwork by moving the offending debris about while trying to remove it...

My impression from what you describe is that you have several areas on the car, which is why it's probably better and more effective to clear it properly. You end up with residue/marks left from using the wipes or kitchen roll really...

Wax protection is essential despite the birds, so if you've not got any on there, rectify that too - but depending on what the birds have been eating, you'll want to get it off the paint ASAP as if they've been eating berries etc the acidic composition of the droppings will go through any protection pretty quickly :(

HTH,

Steve

What about a metal version of an owl, hawk etc, ie a predator, stuck nearby. That may fool them for a bit. (this is genuine by the way, one of the power companies is doing this at the moment to deter woodpeckers hammering wooden poles)

How about a ornamental bird of prey decoy - starlings etc. do not take kindly to them and steer clear. A peregrine falcon might do the job - they even do a model starling if you want another one Guess it depends how gullible your starling flock are.

http://www.wheatear.biz/Wheatear/Bird_Decoys.htm

What about a metal version of an owl, hawk etc, ie a predator, stuck nearby. That may fool them for a bit. (this is genuine by the way, one of the power companies is doing this at the moment to deter woodpeckers hammering wooden poles)

You pipped me to it Harvey.

B H Freshacre, I know we breed them big up here in Mid Wales, but are they really doing poops 3 chains across........??

Hell, that's 66 yards!!!!!!

Sorry, but we still use "ch" on the Railways!!

I'll collect my hat and coat on the way out!!

Edited 11 March, 201016 yr by Llanigraham

B H Freshacre, I know we breed them big up here in Mid Wales, but are they really doing poops 3 chains across........??

Hell, that's 66 yards!!!!!!

Sorry, but we still use "ch" on the Railways!!

I'll collect my hat and coat on the way out!!

BG all round!!

Y'know, Llani, when they cover the ground it seems like 66 yards across! And - taking the suggestion of the kitchen roll ... ... ... ... I'd need industrial kitchen roll, AND be out there morning noon and night, taking the risk of being plopped on directly myself.

It reminds me of the non-PC joke about the loonies on a trip to the seaside, but becasue it is non-PC, and because I don't want the Mod-Police after me, you'll just have to imagine it!!

Now - when I take delivery (if, and when it arrives) I think the suggestions about a really good waxing (i feel another joke looming) will help hugely.

Thanks

G

Did you ask about a gazebo?

No, that was me Terfyn. Another one at the mercy of our flying friends.

You pipped me to it Harvey.

Err, I think I pipped the pair of you to it.!! :wonder:

Seems we have not wasted our money in having a pre delivery teflon coating applied. (£200 extra - previous dealer used to offer as free bonus)

After rain the car looks like a bubble wrap of water globules.

I would just wa**** off

BTW the coating is so effective that when I open doors after rain I get a shower of water on the seats - does this happen with non-teflon coated vehicles?

Edit comment:- wow my first four star post!!!!

Edited 12 March, 201016 yr by Y4YETI

Err, I think I pipped the pair of you to it.!! :wonder:

Sorry, missed your post - still, great minds and all that.

Sorry, missed your post - still, great minds and all that.

3 brilliant minds on one forum at the same time, what are the chances of that?

The fake bird may well work; but the AA gun would be more fun!!!

Hi all again

What is available as after-sales stuff (apart from the Bofors Gun and the RAF) - can Teflon coating be applied by the dealer??

Hi all again

What is available as after-sales stuff (apart from the Bofors Gun and the RAF) - can Teflon coating be applied by the dealer??

Yes mine was "SmartGuard" and invoiced at £199 including VAT.

Yes mine was "SmartGuard" and invoiced at £199 including VAT.

I think that that would be essential up here. The farmer has a screeching bird-of-prey deterrent playing during daylight hours, and these starlings merely thumb their noses to it.

A Gazebo, whilst it would do the trick, could not be anchored properly on the tarmac, and would take off in the winds we have here! I haven't acceess to a garden or garage, so this becomes a damage limitation exercise.

SmartGuard. Is this a common procedure?

George

Smartguard is a similar product to Supagard or Autoglym Lifeshine. All good products but all worth about £50 rather than the £200 - £300 that the dealers charge for them. They are a ready source of easy profit for the car dealers and the salesmen are heavily incentivised to sell them. They don't give you anything more than regular cleaning, polishing and waxing will give you except that the finish allegedly lasts longer so that you do not need to polish your car if this is applied. My advice, if you don't like waxing and polishing, is to buy the product online (at one time you could buy the box for about £40 on ebay) and apply it yourself. The dealer will give you all of the bulls**t about it needing to be professionally applied by specially trained valeters. Complete nonsense. It is no more difficult than polishing your car. I speak as someone who used to sell this stuff and who has applied it to cars.

Edited 13 March, 201016 yr by shrub

I think that that would be essential up here. The farmer has a screeching bird-of-prey deterrent playing during daylight hours, and these starlings merely thumb their noses to it.

A Gazebo, whilst it would do the trick, could not be anchored properly on the tarmac, and would take off in the winds we have here! I haven't acceess to a garden or garage, so this becomes a damage limitation exercise.

George

Sounds essential George if you don't want it looking like this car...

I think that that would be essential up here. The farmer has a screeching bird-of-prey deterrent playing during daylight hours, and these starlings merely thumb their noses to it.

A Gazebo, whilst it would do the trick, could not be anchored properly on the tarmac, and would take off in the winds we have here! I haven't acceess to a garden or garage, so this becomes a damage limitation exercise.

George

I do wish people would look at the product before pontificating. My suggestion of an EazyGazebo design was based on a number of factors:-

1) They are fitted with a pressure release vent to stop lift off.

2) They use a steel frame that can be easily collapsed and put up with the roof in place.

3) They are properly guyed and have double fix down points on all the legs.

4) They are designed for the light commercial market, fetes, open market stalls and boot sales etc.

5) Never had poo on the car during a gale.

6) Tarmac is the easiest of bases to install anchor points.

Incidentally before you shout, I have no connection or interest in this company. I bought a gazebo from them last year, for my garden, and am very satisfied with the product. Rural Lleyn is not noted for calm weather but this gazebo withstood very strong winds off the sea.

OK So if you don't like the idea of a gazebo - fair enough. But don't rubbish what you don't know.

I do wish people would look at the product before pontificating.

... ... ...

OK So if you don't like the idea of a gazebo - fair enough. But don't rubbish what you don't know.

Hi Terfyn

Apologies if I gave the impression of rubbishing your suggestion - that certainly wasn't the idea. I am grateful to all for contributing to this thread as it is a genuine attempt to head off a problem when i take delivery of my new car.

The reason it won't work for me is that I have no private drive or space on which to keep the car. In this very odd little hamlet of only 5 houses the public road comes right up to my front door! It is a cul-de-sac, and more like a large turning space or communal area, but because it isn't mine I'd be unable to erect any shelter. If you Google Maps Merthyr Cynog you will find that Google Streets is enabled, and it will let you understand the layout. Mine is the middle stone cottage between the yellow one and the one being restored. Also - the only access to my little garden is through the house, so anything round there is impossible too.

So - far from poo-poohing your gazebo (!!!) it is the practicalities that scupper it.

George