Two nights ago, in the wet and cold, with the wrong kind of leaves all over the road, I elected to go back a slightly different route. It can become a smidgin tedious driving the same roads all the time, so I turned off onto a minor, minor C class by-way which meanders through a couple of farmyards populated by some mean border collies. You know the sort? All you see of them is a pair of baleful brown eyes glaring at you from beneath the barn door, and before you know where you are they've belted out, bitten you on the backside and belted back again, leaving you with stains on your trousers.

Now these collies have a second hobby as not everyone ambles through the farm; some are cosseted in cars, and these present enormous opportunities for some collie sport, involving snarling at tyres, munching on mudguards, barking like banshees, and all the while accelerating up to 30 mph in the dark, round corners and up hills until they've seen you off.

Never one to resist a challenge, and not fancying losing any bits of my Yeti to these confounded hounds, I decided to out manoeuvre them and floored the throttle after clearing the yard. It was a close thing. Up the hill and round the bend (in more ways than the obvious), the headlights perfectly showing the way, and the cornering fogs - er - cornering... ... ...until we hit the leaves.

I'm sure that the Haldex kicked in. And out. And in again, along with the slippy slidey thing with the orange light that flashes on, and off. And sideways we drifted, creating a huge pile of sodden (and sodding) oak and sycamore leaves, straight into the verge, lurching out again, correcting the steering, and back in again, mud spattering all over the front and sides and windscreen - and them dogs, they got a good few dollops too for good measure.

And we got home shortly after, settled down to a nice chilled GnT and watched the box, thinking no more about our little Yeti adventure that night.

Next day, clear, cold, and good for driving we headed over the hills and far away nice and smoothly until we hit 50 when the most god-awful shuddering assailed us. The steering wheel came alive in my hands. If my Mother in Law had been with me her false teeth would have dropped out and her ear wax loosened. Everything shook, rattled and hummed, and juddered, and I thought that there must be a collie wreaking his revenge on us from underneath somewhere.

I didn't think I had belted the bank THAT hard, but the shuddering was feeling sufficiently serious that I was considering calling Sinclair Skoda for help.

Then - some words from yesteryear floated up into the thinking part of the Freshacre brain. "Mud, glorious mud" it said.

And sure enough, the right front alloys were invisible, caked in clods. leaves, grass, twigs, Mother Earth in abundance obscuring everything - and upsetting the delicate balance of the wheels, and not a collie in sight.

A poke or six with a handy drumstick dislodged the bulk of it, and when we set off again, the journey was as smooth and serene as it always is in a Yeti.

And the moral of this story? None. But is is a dank dismal Saturday afternoon, and I needed something to do.

Hope you enjoyed it!

"Hope you enjoyed it"................Well I certainly did, as I did when reading a previous post of yours - thank you for that, I'll re-read it again in a minute and dig out some of your previous contributions hoping they're of the same calibre. Have you thought of writing something about the life of a country vet? Maybe it would eventually get published.......or even get on the tele?...sort of a series, on every week? You could call it something like "All animals big and not so big"...... No, that wouldnt catch on would it? No-one would watch it. No, cancel that idea.

Edited 20 November, 201015 yr by oldstan

Cheers Freshacre I enjoyed the country tale.

Two in one day.

I had to drive off the road to let another car by. The nearside went straight down into 6-8" of pure mud, both front and back were in the mire. First gear and the wheel hard to the right, we shot out of the ditch like a cork out of a bottle and nearly went into the fence on the other side of the road!

Got home with scraping noises coming from the nearside. Got the hose out and cleared at least a bathful of mud, stones and vegetation from the front and rear wheels, wheelarches, bumpers etc.

Found a stone locked between the wheelcentre and the calliper cylinder, it took a good knock with a screwdriver to dislodge it.

Betty seems OK - wasn't she built for this type of driving?

Brilliant write up Freshacre! Lucky they're collies and not cattledogs!

hi George,

I thought they held the rally last weekend glad to hear your OK mind and there's no damage to the Monster. Those darn sports tyres again me thinks :wonder:

Regards,

TP

Freshacre. I had a similar problem many years ago with a classic range rover. I'd been on an off road day and the rr was caked in mud. The steering was vibrating so badly I had to stop. There was a huge piece of mud on the rim. Knocked it off and you like you, normal business resumed.

Mike

Love it!

"Hope you enjoyed it"................Well I certainly did, as I did when reading a previous post of yours - thank you for that, I'll re-read it again in a minute and dig out some of your previous contributions hoping they're of the same calibre. Have you thought of writing something about the life of a country vet? Maybe it would eventually get published.......or even get on the tele?...sort of a series, on every week? You could call it something like "All animals big and not so big"...... No, that wouldnt catch on would it? No-one would watch it. No, cancel that idea.

Hi oldstan, and cheers for that vote of confidence!

If you enjoyed that bit of "stream-of-consciousness" writing, you might find another post to your, er, taste. You'll find it in that magnificent thread that features a prominent and fulsome pictorial contribution from someone's tame bull, which has had a slight problem, colloquially.

Go to the pinned thread started by Johann Nine Million - "Loads of things to think about if you're gonna buy a YETI", or something like that. Scroll to the final page, find the relevant photograph (which is so real and so in your face you'll see the steam rising), and you'll find a nugget of rural wisdom awaiting that is worth learning off by heart in case you should ever require it.

Hmmmm?!

Enjoy, again!

One of the concerns following my swim through the mud was the amount of crud left on the working bits, especially the brakes. I hosed the wheels and arches down but found that I also had to put the front wheels on full lock to get at the bits behind. When I found a stone locked in between the wheel hub and the caliper body I was worried that there could be a build up of stone and gravel in the brakes. Fortunately the only damage I found was slight scoring of the alloy wheel hub where the stone had rubbed it.

The message is:- If you do have an off road incident then wash and inspect the rotating bits as soon as is convenient to avoid any damage caused by stones.

The under lip of the rear bumper also provided a bucketfull of mud!

Awh I really love this! Excellent writing I have to say.

It reminded me of the writings of Bertel Schmitt on The Truth about Cars blog during 2009 when he did a series on when he was working for VW's marketing department in the 70s and beyond. Here are a few of them if anyone is interested in a funny car related read:

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/05/autobiography-of-bs-when-i-invented-interactive-video/

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/05/autobiography-of-bs-pt-2-the-world%E2%80%99s-most-elaborate-duck-trap/

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/05/autobiography-of-bs-how-i-violated-the-one-china-principle/

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/06/autobiography-of-bs-how-i-lied-about-the-golf/

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/06/autobiography-of-bs-how-i-corrupted-communist-cabarets/

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/06/autobiography-of-bs-how-car-catalogs-killed-creatives/

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/06/autobiography-of-bs-%C2%A9-how-i-nearly-blew-the-audi-80-launch/

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/07/autobiography-of-bs-%C2%A9-how-i-drowned-dealers-in-free-cash/

Good writing as ever George... better not let my collie out near your Yet then lol!

Are you looking forward to testing said Yeti - in the looming threat of snow?! apparently some is due at the end of this week out our way.

Good writing as ever George... better not let my collie out near your Yet then lol!

Are you looking forward to testing said Yeti - in the looming threat of snow?! apparently some is due at the end of this week out our way.

Yebbut every time I looks outta the window, the ruddy sun is still shining, and the forecast changes on my iPad thingy.

AND - what is MORE... ... ... I have discovered that the heated seat on my Yeti is only a heated back and not a heated bum. Grrrrr. (Wish they did a heated steering wheel too.)

Well you did get to play in the snow!

Heated steering wheel would be good, wouldnt get frozen littler fingers!

Enjoyed that wee read

a very entertaining read, freshacre.

and so was the post you pointed us to.

now, as far as freshacres go, i have one...

rode into a bloody big pothole on my bicycle!!!

Hmmmm - Another case of the unwanted mega-vibrations at 50mph.

This happened today after a bit of a dig to get him out from under his snowdrift where he has been hiding for a while. Scraped the snow off the bonnet, the windscreen, the doors and eventually by standing on tippy-toe (despite being six-foot-two) from the roof - didnt want a fine, you see!

Then set off down the road, fortunate to be able to follow the snowplough and the gritter at 5 mph all the way into Brecon, 10 miles away. Grrrrrrrr. Noticed that initially the brakes did NOT function - a bit like after driving through a stream.

Then set off over the hills and as I gathered speed noticed the familiar wibble wibble wibble vibration, and worse, as I hit 50.

The problem, or so I surmise, was that having been hibernating for a couple of days, a great wodge of snow and ice had wrapped itself around the wheels and the axle and the brake mechanisms. Anyhow, after a bit of spasmodic heavy braking, it all cleared.

Be aware, Yeti people, be aware - it isn't just collie dog induced slides into leaves and mud that can give you the wheelie-wobbles.

I had this exact same thing happen after I filmed the donut video. I was not concerned as thankfully I had read this mud thing on here. Had I not, I would have thought I had bent something totally out of shape having done what I did! Stopped and low and behold some ice was stuck inside one of the rear wheels. Dislodged it with the ice scraper and voila no more vibration. So again: fantastic forum this!