Okay, so I have absolutely no tools or experience so I need to buy everything and want to do it on the cheap.

Tools required (I think): 10mm socket for the battery terminal, 13mm socket to loosen the plate at the bottom of the battery, ratchet?

So this is what I am looking at:
https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Amazon-pieces-spanner-ratchet-holder/dp/B07SFMCYHR

 

For battery I am looking at this:
https://www.amazon.de/-/en/5524000473132-Varta-Starter-Battery/dp/B00RZ54PFE


1. I  take the cover off, and unplug the black (right) wire, then I unplug the red (left) wire.

2. I unscrew the bottom of the battery 

3. I take it out ?! 

4. Repeat steps in reverse for new battery.

???

Thank you friends.

That's pretty much it, yes. You will need a long extension on the ratchet to reach the 13mm bolt of the battery holding bracket.

3 minutes ago, TMB said:

That's pretty much it, yes. You will need a long extension on the ratchet to reach the 13mm bolt of the battery holding bracket.

Would something like this be suitable, on top of the previously listed set?
https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Wobble-Extension-Bar-250/dp/B001ILG1S0

Bear in mind I've never held a ratchet/wrench and I don't really know how socket sizes or compatibilities and such work.

Yes that extension is fine and will fit that socket set as they are both 1/4'' drive.

You will also likely get a spark from the red terminal when touching the battery post/terminal, makes me jump everytime. So make it quick action to drop the connection onto the battery post. 

3 minutes ago, gav_is_con said:

You will also likely get a spark from the red terminal when touching the battery post/terminal, makes me jump everytime. So make it quick action to drop the connection onto the battery post. 

Wait a minute won't I die? 

3 minutes ago, Robstelly said:

Wait a minute won't I die? 

Nah it’s only 12v, but natural reaction when seeing a spark is to flinch/jump. 

3 minutes ago, gav_is_con said:

Nah it’s only 12v, but natural reaction when seeing a spark is to flinch/jump. 

I don't know about this, I'll be physically touching it right, and it will give me a shock, but that's okay? 

Sorry for my complete technical ineptness. 

You should not touch the metal hold it from the red part same for black cable, it will be fine 

1 minute ago, gav_is_con said:

You should not touch the metal hold it from the red part same for black cable, it will be fine 

Well damn it's good you told me, I thought it wasn't actively transmitting electricity and is fine to touch 

It can't actually give you an electric shock. If you put each hand on both battery terminals you would feel nothing. You can only get a shock off things like spark plug leads when the engine is running.

9 hours ago, Robstelly said:

Would something like this be suitable, on top of the previously listed set?
https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Wobble-Extension-Bar-250/dp/B001ILG1S0

You don't actually need a wobble bar as long as you get the right length. Since you have to buy any tools you need anyway, you may as well buy the wobble bar in case you need one in future.

6 hours ago, KenONeill said:

You don't actually need a wobble bar as long as you get the right length. Since you have to buy any tools you need anyway, you may as well buy the wobble bar in case you need one in future.

 

Yeah, I didn't know what a wobble bar was anyway, it just looked thinner on the picture than the other option and cost the same. 

OP- On a technical point for removal of battery terminals.( From my days as a Telecoms engineer, with fore runner to BT, in old days when we had to maintain our vans and had to go through a safety brief with garage manager).

 

To remove.

disconnect the Black lead first. ( Battery negative), This breaks any possible circuit from the +ve to the body of car. Meaning that ( after negative is removed) the +ve terminal is left floating with no reference to the car body.

To replace

Connect +ve terminal first.

 

Doing it this way means that ( once negative lead is removed), if your 10mm spanner( on the positive) touches body ,then there's no chance of a nasty surprise ( as in sparks and burnt metal).

Ideally you should use an insulated spanner, but I've found on my 1.4TDi that a ratchet spanner from the likes of ECP is too short to cause problems. For the clamp bolt ,I use a long extension bar, but cost wise it might benefit you to buy a few short ones .

Price wise, you may pay a bit more going to GSF, but I'm looking at an 096 battery prices, where they deliver free and for a Yuassa, with higher everything than one for a petrol car.

 

First time I changed a battery on this car, I noticed a spark and was worried so I removed lead and checked the current. The spark is caused by ( what I'd suspect) is start up current for electronics starting up and reduces rapidly in less than a minute.Nothing to worry about, and as said, no chance of a shock.

 

Edited 24 April, 20224 yr by VWD

Successfully replace the battery, thank you guys for advice. 

Only issue I ran into is one of the nuts fell somewhere into the engine bay, used chopsticks to retrieve.

11 hours ago, Robstelly said:

used chopsticks to retrieve.

 

That's a new one on me 😄

16 hours ago, TMB said:

 

That's a new one on me 😄

 

Could be one for the life hacks thread in Off Topic.

On 01/05/2022 at 09:33, AnnoyingPentium said:

 

Could be one for the life hacks thread in Off Topic.

Oh absolutely it's 2 long and thin sticks that are used to grab things, you can really get in there, and there's ones that are really long too (for cooking). I have no idea how I'd retrieve the nut otherwise! 

You do have to know how to use them tho... Which takes a while but then you're looking for every opportunity to utilize those skills (case in point).

On 23/04/2022 at 00:42, Robstelly said:

Wait a minute won't I die? 

 

Eventually...

44 minutes ago, sepulchrave said:

 

Eventually...

 

Well that's not ominous at all...

8 hours ago, Robstelly said:

Oh absolutely it's 2 long and thin sticks that are used to grab things, you can really get in there, and there's ones that are really long too (for cooking). I have no idea how I'd retrieve the nut otherwise! 

Well, you could use a magnet on a stick...