Conflict management

[MPM]

As per the title desciption really. If you're in a situation with someone, and the atmosphere turns sour, how do you handle it? (For example discussion with volatile boss where opinions differ)

I tend to get an adrenaline surge which means i practially freeze to control the rage! It's most annoying as i'm sure if i was physically calm i'd be able to work through it.

Does anyone have any techniques they use?

Ta,

MPM

[Jonny5ive]

I deal with agression and conflict on a fairly regular basis and often feel the "red mist" building inside.

How do I handle it? Good question, usually a deep breath, and or removing yourself from the situation if possible for some time out helps.

When my boss goes off on one I'll argue the toss to a point 'cos I'm like that, and then i'll leave him to it and approach the subject again at a later stage.

Edited 7 April, 2010 by Jonny5ive

[Babs]

I just try and think of ways they could be killed.

Or go have a poo. It's a good stress release, and it feels good knowing that the company is paying you to bend a fresh biscuit

[MPM]

Nothing like a good sit down to calm the system down - i agree there

[kit]

deeps breaths and count to ten!! then picture him/ her naked or wearing a nappy!!!...plus the thought of " your not worth stressing about " Does the trick for me

K:)

[gadgetman]

When the boss moans, and you know you have covered yourself in an email, usually its "I'm sorry that's how you feel, but in my email of.... I advised you this would happen, and you did jack. So why is it my fault?"

I no longer get crappy phone calls

[Clunkclick]

Alternatively:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xu-nhba0Bck

Peter Finch in "Network" of 30 years ago. Wonderful.

Strange that the issues are the same as today !

But there might be something out there which not even raging, pooing or vomiting can mitigate and I think, I saw it today:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIYejgkqd0o

Nick

Edited 8 April, 2010 by Clunkclick

[oilburninnut]

unfortunatly usually with my fists,i'm not the sharpest tool in the box and when someone quicker witted than me ties me in virtual knots twisting everything i say it usually ends badly hence about 8 million jobs in the last 10 years

[Babs]

You know what, Gary? I would never have placed you as that sort of man

[oilburninnut]

You know what, Gary? I would never have placed you as that sort of man

But on the other hand i can be the most helpful, level headed nicest guy in the world!!!!!

[M12MKD]

Not easy to control your temper, mostly I have to walk away or I will say or do something I will regret. I'm fine and ok to a point and once there I find it hard to remain civil.

Not lost my temper big time for awhile, last time was ex related will not go into details but I lost it remember screaming punching the door and then its a blur and ended up on the kitchen floor. Not something I'm proud off really and to top it off I now have a busted hand with I refuse to actually go to the hosiptal with as I really dont care explaining why it happened.

I have to agree with Babs I think of ways they can be hurt in my head..........seems to claim me down most of the time.

Weird thing is I'm such a quiet person that really would not say boo to a goose until the red mist builds and them I'm a mouth lil f**ker.

As the saying goes, dont get mad.......................get even!

[allclownsareevi]

In the past I've tended to grab ahold of the other guy to physically express my side of the argument. The thing is it did nothing for my anger ... it made it worse.

Hopefully I'm a little more controlled these days ... when I feel the urge rising to choke them to death it's best if I remove myself from the situation for a few, usually making a brew. Then I concentrate on being "the bigger man" and start over again, making sure I keep my temper in check and think objectively.

If you're at fault, take the b*ll*cking and move on. If you're not at fault then firmly stand your ground. If you can't control yourself, how are you meant to exert control over those under you? We're supposed to be a grown men, which means you should be able to keep your emotions in check and get on with the job. So do it.

[Loz]

sarcasm usually.... lol

[Babs]

It makes me furious!

[Captain Sisko]

^^^

What clown said

Where I used to work we had people looking to shirk the blame onto others but if you can't accept that responsibility and learn from it then what are you doing.

On the other hand sometimes you do get stonewalled by some complete idiots and it's hard not to feel frustrated by that. At this same place of work me and some other colleagues had a conversation/rant on this corner about the management, was good way of letting off steam!!!

I suppose it depends on why the situation is volatile

Edited 15 April, 2010 by Captain Sisko