Husband in Tesco

[Delcac]

shamelessly nicked from Cupranet

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or

boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in

Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty

Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and

your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our

surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's

trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine

products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,

"Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and

told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a

Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he

began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a

mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the

Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants

were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the

"Mission Impossible" theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look"

using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled

"PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,

assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices

again."

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a

while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown

Store Manager

[MissKia]

:rofl: Love it. Wiebo, of course, is far too mature to try anything like that though

[bengie]

classic that, but judging by the wording its an altered american thing not tesco but still funny

[Emily-Elizabeth]

My favourite is to ask the checkout person if he/she works at the store.

[Kelly]

I like to walk round Poundstretcher asking how much everything costs.

Tom

[Joff]

I do similar:

opening freezer's and locking the latch so the alarms go off when the temp drops...

abandoning trolleys with chilled/frozen items...

I once found a box of loose security tags in BWS and added them to other customer's trolleys

Generally behaving like a t**t when having to queue...

Tesco's near me now has the most pathetic self-serve checkouts which blatantly don't work, so I abuse them and often get items free...

[Joff]

I like to walk round Poundstretcher asking how much everything costs.

Tom

Quite a valid question though, as Poundstretcher has goods of various prices :P

[MissKia]

I like to walk round Poundstretcher asking how much everything costs.

Tom

I do similar:

opening freezer's and locking the latch so the alarms go off when the temp drops...

abandoning trolleys with chilled/frozen items...

I once found a box of loose security tags in BWS and added them to other customer's trolleys

Generally behaving like a t**t when having to queue...

Tesco's near me now has the most pathetic self-serve checkouts which blatantly don't work, so I abuse them and often get items free...

My favourite is to ask the checkout person if he/she works at the store.

OMG !! Grow up guys

[Joff]

I need something to entertain me when I shop at their hellish stores

[yashicamat]

I still have my Tesco uniform and badge . . . I could occasionally pose as a member of staff.

[pinkskud]

I still have my Tesco uniform and badge . . . I could occasionally pose as a member of staff.

now thats sad!!!!

[JPreston]

I like to walk round Poundstretcher asking how much everything costs.

Tom

There's a bargain store in Hatfield with a sign in the window saying "Don't ask the price - everything is £1 or £2". WTF, is that supposed to be helpful?!?

[Tech1e]

Great list.

I just tend to dance around and if there is music playing i'll 'sing' along.

Of course this is all viable as I have a 5 month old girl in the trolley in front of me, usually pulling this face...

[anonymouse]

Don't go into Asda with a green T-shirt on.

Did this once and got asked by two people where things were.

Took me a while to twig what the first one was on about and then I was in fits of laughter.

So, I was ready for the 2nd - no, just told them I didn't work there.

Needless to say I don't put that T-shirt on anymore when I go to Asda.

[Joff]

Don't go into Asda with a green T-shirt on.

Did this once and got asked by two people where things were.

Took me a while to twig what the first one was on about and then I was in fits of laughter.

So, I was ready for the 2nd - no, just told them I didn't work there.

Needless to say I don't put that T-shirt on anymore when I go to Asda.

Same goes for wearing a purple shirt in PC World ffs - the same bloke twice asked me if I could help him!!

[cheezemonkhai]

Great list.

I just tend to dance around and if there is music playing i'll 'sing' along.

Of course this is all viable as I have a 5 month old girl in the trolley in front of me, usually pulling this face...

Damn you Ross...

I'm feeling old and broody due to the very cute pic :eek:

Oh and I'm jealous of the excuse for dancing around too.

[MrBump]

Don't go into Asda with a green T-shirt on.

Did this once and got asked by two people where things were.

Took me a while to twig what the first one was on about and then I was in fits of laughter.

So, I was ready for the 2nd - no, just told them I didn't work there.

Needless to say I don't put that T-shirt on anymore when I go to Asda.

Similar thing happened to me last year, was looking at suits in Next in Glasgow during my lunch break when a woman came up and asked if the had this shirt in size blah. Could have understood the mistake if I'd looked smart but was wearing a scruffy blue network rail fleece at the time...

[MissPiggy]

was in morrisons yesterday and they kept doing tannoy bits so turned round to mum and said loudly-they wont go away!!!! i was still drunk btw!!