Thought this could be a laugh!

Whilst grinding a heat shield off my old corsa, i set fire to my pants and had to run upto the garden tap!

Spanner slipped off a nut/bolt and ended up punching the floor resulting in grazed knuckles.

Was underneath the car and sneezed and head butted the floor pan, ended up with 8 stitches.

LOL love the sneeze injuries. after putting spacers on the rear wheels watching the paint rub/flake away from the rear quarter's of my SE Fabia.

I had two McDonalds drinks on the dash board and a seagull landed infront of the car so I span at it resulting in wet floor.

I remember using a U/J with a breaker bar and the U/J changed orientation as I was pulling at it and it hit me in the face... Had a massive lump on my forehead.

This happened in my corsa

i had to drive to DVLA office (5-6hour drive from mine) the office closed at 5:30pm that day.

it's 11:30am i'm sitting in my car, thinking can i make in time???

i go for it, but quickly stop at home to top up oil,

i drove like a maniac the whole way there doing 100mph upwards on the motorways(i was 18yr olds at the time)

i got there at 5:27pm by the luck of it.

after i did my thing at the dvla office i went to top up with petrol and noticed a little oil seeping down my front bumper.

I popped the hood and FOUND OIL EVERYWHERE!!! why??? i forgot to put the oil cap back on when i topped up at home.

i checked the dipstick and the car was reading basically empty. i pootled back home at 56mph the whole way hoping my engine wouldn't dry out.

Another one ive done is change the oil in my car and forgot to put the sump plug back in

I have a customer doh from last week.

A guy noticed that one of the big fuses on top of the battery had blown and tried to measure it with a METAL rule so he could get a replacement. It became welded in place of the fuse and the alternator went up in smoke.

After hearing the non-stop nagging from his wife, I'm not sure that it wasn't a cry for help. When I told her that the alternator was probably dead anyway and that was why the fuse blew, she accused me of being part of a male conspiracy.

Turning all my cam cover bolts the wrong way and snapping them (doesn't take much) - Was lucky the bits came out the head OK, and just got replacement cover.... Righty tighty, lefty loosy has never been so drilled into my head....

I was jacking my car recently and it wasn't going up.

The floor pan was though, I just stamped it back down :S

Working under my car when the RAF did a low pass (lived in the Yorkshire Dales at the time) Shocked I banged the back of my head on the drive, I recoiled and banged my forehead under the car, I recoiled and the banged the back of my head on the drive, recoiled and.... I managed to get my hands on the back and front of my head before I beat myself to death.

Scraping that horrible old rubbery underseal off the bottom of a Mk1 Granada with a gas lamp, large burning lump dropped into my beard, my wife said she saw me run round the garden and past the kitchen window beating my smoking face before I got to the tap. She was laughing.

Worst one ever for me was years ago when I had my first car (VW Polo 1.3lt Breadvan style)......had decided to fit a K&N "grassbox" style filter onto the carb.....result.....fueling was very iffy (had it looked at by a proper mobile tunning mechanic),and the jets iced up in winter (even with heat sheild/trunking etc).

The fitment of the above part caused many problems including the engine hot stalling on the main busy A(60mph) road with no area to get it off the road!....Also managed one day to get it in to the petrol station and let it cool down, then it still wouldn't start so I removed the sparkplugs and cleaned them (by this time i was carrying a full toolkit in the car)......thing is I lost the sealing washer for one of the sparkplugs down the back of the engine......could I find it??? and Halfords was shut so had to call out the AA!!

I'm older and wiser now........I think??.....

Edited 3 November, 201114 yr by fabdavrav

Before picking up my Fabia VRS, checking out servicing costs, and wondering why the hell no-one wanted to sell me spark plugs for it.

I forgot to tighten the wheel bolts up once one of my cars. They had worked themselves pretty loose and where very hot!

What an idiot!

This is kind of similar to James, but:-

I painted the wheels and nuts, including the the mating faces. 40 miles later "rumble rumble rumble..."

Drilling a pop rivet out in the rear of a car when the drill bit broke .... the broken bit hit the rear window and BANG one shattered rear screen

remembered another one whilst at work. I once jacked up my old corsa and put it on stands to sort the rear drums out. Did that then lowered one side of the car, then round to the other sliding the stand out the way. Dropped it off the jack to realise the stand was under the wheel well. Pushed it straight through the well and lfet a huge hole and a punctured spare tyre!

I also replaced a rear bearing on said corsa and didi it up a bit tight. Needless to say the bearing over heated and fused to the stub axle and locked the rear wheel up solid. That resulted in the AA and a corsa on a flat bed!

Working with a friend on a polo, he was taking out the spark plugs and complained one was rather tight, i couldt be bothered messing about with, told him to give a bit of grunt...only half the spark plug came out :( simple service turned into head coming off :/

Dropped sump plug in 250k oil drum full of oil.

Undone last bolt of brake calliper, pulled it off the disc a little to hard, realised I was holding it freely, snapped the brake line.

Years ago drained the oil from a gearbox instead of the engine, tried to fill the engine with oil and was wondering why it only took only half a pint of oil to fill.

Please note, the last confession was about 10 years ago.

Me and my old man serviced my old Astra. Presuming he knew more than I did he put on the oil filter (didn't see him do it). All done I drove to college the next day and then home which is about a mile. Noticed that where I parked there was a bit of oil. Thought at first it's just spillage from the service, turned out dad hadn't put a bit of oil round the oil filter seal to make it a tight fit and oil was pi$$ing out of it. Lucky I hadn't gone for a spin anywhere far which in college used to be a daily occurrence.

Went to change a brake bulb in my old vRS. Put new bulb in, went to put it all back together and new bulb falls out into the light. Took me ages to get it back out.

A few years ago when changing front struts on my dads car we got distracted by my neighbour and after we had finished it all and were clearing up, he noticed in the boot the old strut still had the protective rubber boot and bump stop on it, that we hadn't changed over. The strut had to come back out and be stripped again.

My dad filled my mums AX Diesel with a full tank of fuel as he normally did. After a while the car then ran very Smokey and had no power. He complained to the garage that they sold him watery fuel, after a long conversation on the phone he was told to look at the receipt.... it was unleaded fuel he'd filled up.

Edited 6 November, 201114 yr by Jim H

Years ago drained the oil from a gearbox instead of the engine, tried to fill the engine with oil and was wondering why it only took only half a pint of oil to fill.

Please note, the last confession was about 10 years ago.

Ha my mate did this, rather then ringing me to ask which one he needed to drain, he drained the gearbox oil, relised his make then drove to mine (10 miles) with no gearbox oil, to this day i dont know how it got there

I was servicing the Octavia, took the oil filter off, new one on (I rubbed oil around the seal) started it and oil pi$$ed out everywhere. I left the old rubber on, as well as putting the new one on.

I once owned a Fiat Uno and when driving it on the motorway in torrential rain itbegan to misfire. Being a practical lass I whipped open my boot, dug around in my ‘special crate’ of bits and bobs and found a tin of WD40. I then clipped off the Dizzy cap and sprayed it’s dampened interior. Fantastic!! Car ran faultlessly for 50 miles or so………..then cough cough splutter :( So I once again got my WD and force fed my damp dizzy with WD goodness……hey presto! It was spot on again. Until another 50 miles later, I seemed to have lost some cylinders on the motorway :( Having taken shelter under a motorway bridge it was out with the WD and I proceeded to fill the Distributor cap (see told you I was practical) until I noticed a large amount of frothy foam pouring back out, a bit like some demented school chemistry experiment. It turns out I had filled my Distributer with….... FOAM??? I had picked up a tin of ‘Mr Sheen’ and filled my distributor with furniture polish! I scooped as much foam out as I could and tried to start the car and…. it ran faultlessly all the way home. A friend told me it was probably because the Polish has silicon in it, but did worry when he asked if it was inflammable and I didn’t know.

Edited 7 November, 201114 yr by Lady Elanore

I once owned a Fiat Uno and when driving it on the motorway in torrential rain itbegan to misfire. Being a practical lass I whipped open my boot, dug around in my ‘special crate’ of bits and bobs and found a tin of WD40. I then clipped off the Dizzy cap and sprayed it’s dampened interior. Fantastic!! Car ran faultlessly for 50 miles or so………..then cough cough splutter :( So I once again got my WD and force fed my damp dizzy with WD goodness……hey presto! It was spot on again. Until another 50 miles later, I seemed to have lost some cylinders on the motorway :( Having taken shelter under a motorway bridge it was out with the WD and I proceeded to fill the Distributor cap (see told you I was practical) until I noticed a large amount of frothy foam pouring back out, a bit like some demented school chemistry experiment. It turns out I had filled my Distributer with….... FOAM??? I had picked up a tin of ‘Mr Sheen’ and filled my distributor with furniture polish! I scooped as much foam out as I could and tried to start the car and…. it ran faultlessly all the way home. A friend told me it was probably because the Polish has silicon in it, but did worry when he asked if it was inflammable and I didn’t know.

:rofl:

I once owned a Fiat Uno and when driving it on the motorway in torrential rain itbegan to misfire. Being a practical lass I whipped open my boot, dug around in my ‘special crate’ of bits and bobs and found a tin of WD40. I then clipped off the Dizzy cap and sprayed it’s dampened interior. Fantastic!! Car ran faultlessly for 50 miles or so………..then cough cough splutter :( So I once again got my WD and force fed my damp dizzy with WD goodness……hey presto! It was spot on again. Until another 50 miles later, I seemed to have lost some cylinders on the motorway :( Having taken shelter under a motorway bridge it was out with the WD and I proceeded to fill the Distributor cap (see told you I was practical) until I noticed a large amount of frothy foam pouring back out, a bit like some demented school chemistry experiment. It turns out I had filled my Distributer with….... FOAM??? I had picked up a tin of ‘Mr Sheen’ and filled my distributor with furniture polish! I scooped as much foam out as I could and tried to start the car and…. it ran faultlessly all the way home. A friend told me it was probably because the Polish has silicon in it, but did worry when he asked if it was inflammable and I didn’t know.

Most spray polishes contain silicon. They're also mostly labelled "flammable", but that usually refers to not burning pressure cans and/or to the propellant, rather than to the polish itself.

Most spray polishes contain silicon. They're also mostly labelled "flammable", but that usually refers to not burning pressure cans and/or to the propellant, rather than to the polish itself.

If I recall correctly, the Uno I owned had the Fiat 'Fire' engine