Today's Funnie.....Damn women drivers!

[Guest Cossiecol]

This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 65mph, she had her face up to the rear view mirror and was putting on her eyeliner. 

 

I looked away for a couple of seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over into my lane, and still working on that makeup!

 

Now as a man I naturally don't scare easily. However, she scared me so much that I:

 

Dropped my electric shaver, which in-turn knocked the doughnut out of my other hand.

 

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car by using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee which was between my thighs! This emptied itself into my lap and burned Big Jim and the Twins, Ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers and disconnect an important call!

 

Damn women drivers!!!!!!!!

[kilted]

Would be funnier if it wasn't so true!

[NatalieSearson]

Pah, never attempted makeup in the car, the rides too bumpy and wouldn't want to smudge it if someone makes me jump pipping at me. So inconsiderate.

My boyfriend tells me off for not driving ten to two. I drive with one hand on the steering wheel, one on the gearstick. Yet he has admitted to driving with his knees!! And has texted whilst driving. Double standards or what.

[KenONeill]

Pah, never attempted makeup in the car, the rides too bumpy and wouldn't want to smudge it if someone makes me jump pipping at me. So inconsiderate.

My boyfriend tells me off for not driving ten to two. I drive with one hand on the steering wheel, one on the gearstick. Yet he has admitted to driving with his knees!! And has texted whilst driving. Double standards or what.

And he's wrong as well; you should drive at quarter to three!

[fordfan]

10 to 2?, that's lunch time.

[GentleGiant]

Pah, never attempted makeup in the car, the rides too bumpy and wouldn't want to smudge it if someone makes me jump pipping at me. So inconsiderate.

My boyfriend tells me off for not driving ten to two. I drive with one hand on the steering wheel, one on the gearstick. Yet he has admitted to driving with his knees!! And has texted whilst driving. Double standards or what.

 

 

There are real reasons for not driving with one hand on the gear stick; many of them use plastic/soft metal bushes, and continual pressure can wear the bush away until the gears cannot be selected properly; I know of a taxi driver who did this in a Toyota and needed a gearbox rebuild at ~120,000 miles. I drove an identical Toyota (also as a taxi), and had no issues ever - despite reaching 254,000 miles before selling it on.

[meb90]

There are real reasons for not driving with one hand on the gear stick; many of them use plastic/soft metal bushes, and continual pressure can wear the bush away until the gears cannot be selected properly; I know of a taxi driver who did this in a Toyota and needed a gearbox rebuild at ~120,000 miles. I drove an identical Toyota (also as a taxi), and had no issues ever - despite reaching 254,000 miles before selling it on.

 

I can buy that. The manual for mine says not to leave your hand on the gear stick for the same reason. I do admit to doing it sometimes, but I'll try not to now

[NatalieSearson]

Ahhh you learn something new every day! I didn't know that at all! I see many people drive this way.

And for y'all who are taking the mick out of me saying ten to two, that's what my late driving instructor used to say! Barmy old fellow, somethings just stuck with me.

[meb90]

I was taught quarter to 3! But I think they changed their view on where your hands should be put. I suppose it was just a good way of getting learners to remember where to put their hands!

[CRB]

?What hand signals, officer? I was drying my nail varnish.

[devonutopia]

I thought one hand at 12 noon was the agreed best wheel hand position?

[andy68]

One hand at half past, need the other hand to pick my nose

[meb90]

But if you only have one hand on the wheel, you can't do the BSM shuffle!! :(

[Lady Elanore]

I was taught ten to two or quarter to three, although ten to three wasn't allowed. I  went with ten to two which has had a knock on that nowadays,with cars using paddles, I cant reach them, so I have had to start to learn to use quarter to three (I believe this might not be a problem in an Aston or a Ferrari as they have longer paddles )

 

That made sense in my head

[GentleGiant]

Left hand at midday, the other hanging outside the car - waiting to get ripped off when you try to undertake that lorry on the high street.

 

Of course, no one will be able to hear your screams over the sound of that AWESOME BASS !!!

 

Which reminds me of a good laugh I had a few years ago; some chav was blasting some techno-crap out at full distortion, and I instantly identified the bass line as being ripped from "Hall of the Mountain King" !!

[KenONeill]

Ahhh you learn something new every day! I didn't know that at all! I see many people drive this way.

And for y'all who are taking the mick out of me saying ten to two, that's what my late driving instructor used to say! Barmy old fellow, somethings just stuck with me.

That wasn't how I meant it; I was ripping people who are didactic that ten to two is the only acceptable position. Somewhere between quarter to three and ten to two depending on exactly where the steering wheel spokes, control stalks, and any gearshift paddles (if applicable) all are is acceptable. I normally use 2:47 in my Octy because that places my pinkies  just above the upper steering spokes.