He does make me smile but I think he would upset a few with this one

Volkswagen Polo 1.8 GTI - Jeremy Clarkson - Times Online

Discuss:)

He does make me smile but I think he would upset a few with this one

Which bit? The fact he hates modding, or the fact he'd rather have a Mini over VAG's offering? :rofl:

Chris

"The map is drawn by clever people who live with their mothers and do not know what daylight looks like" "The map, then, is a series of compromises and if you, too, are the sort of person who lives in the dark and likes to hack into defence computers and start world war three, you can access it with a simple laptop and make changes"

And he's neglected to mention that it is a different turbo on the TT

So he rubbishes being able to change performance successfully by modifying the engine map - yet then advocates doing it? :confused:

Which bit?

Chris

I was thinking about the tuners.As Phil has spotted above:D

I think (gets ready for accusations of stirring) that the interesting part is that he finds 148bhp is perfect for a car that handles better than the Fabia VRS

Jeromy Clarkson is great. True Legend!!!! I think he talks sense and atleast backs up his opinions with great reasoning.

Basically he says :

"I dont know any more about timing and feuling maps than any other enthusiast - however what i do know is that i like a mini compared to this Polo"

Which is just an opinion - fair enough,

In relation to VW revising chassis and suspension - one would assume that the handling would be better than that of the Furby VRS...

If it wasn't - i'd be wondering if some new engine decisions and styling is worth the wonga!

Even so - it has been proved many a time that the 150Hp 1800 20v T lumps are good for remapping to around 180 bhp without any other mods.

Also if you had 237Bhp in a FWD it would be pretty wasted - however im sure that the rolling fun factor as opposed to off the mark performance would be greatly fun

As Clarkson demonstrates again that he is as reckless and incompetent with engine tech or a keyboard, as he is with a car...

Anyone else remember him slating the Lotus Elise 2 for severe understeer, and a Lotus engineer promptly proving that the car was fine; it was Clarkson that suffered from extreme limiting understeer?

As Clarkson demonstrates again that he is as reckless and incompetent with engine tech or a keyboard, as he is with a car...

Anyone else remember him slating the Lotus Elise 2 for severe understeer, and a Lotus engineer promptly proving that the car was fine; it was Clarkson that suffered from extreme limiting understeer?

Clarkson is entertaining though.

If you really wanted to learn how to cook you'd watch Delia Smith and not Ready Steady Cook.

The thing is: if you buy a car to simply take you from A to B - fine, stick with absolutely stock - economy, emissions, longevity are the best.

If you've bought a car for fun as well as a daily driver - the fun of driving it, learning mechanics, and seeing the results as you mod more and more (!) is a big part of enjoying it.

To each his own. You can just as easily wrap a car around a tree with 140bhp as with 200bhp. (Remember, the 312mm brake mod is also a performance mod....)

Oh and don't forget - Value for money. Sure you can buy a Mini S or R32 that will outperform a Fabia vRS. They're much more expensive. Even with extensive modding a vRS is cheaper, and modding is step-by-step, when you can afford a new part. Each time you upgrade, it's a new car! With most of the things you love about the old one intact.

And imagine the look on the driver of one of these two aforementioned vehicles when your vRS whips their a55! And YOU selected the package.

I don't want someone who lives with my mother to be responsible for my map!

Clarkson is a great entertainer, but no need to alienate the modding crowd!!!

my 2p.....

Cheers

Bas

what a

just my opinion

Oh and don't forget - Value for money. Sure you can buy a Mini S or R32 that will outperform a Fabia vRS. They're much more expensive. Even with extensive modding a vRS is cheaper, and modding is step-by-step, when you can afford a new part. Each time you upgrade, it's a new car! With most of the things you love about the old one intact

Wasn't his main point that mapping is bad for the car though (as VAG have invested a huge amount of money in getting it right) so if you remap it, you're going to hit limits in the clutch, drive train, flywheel, suspension, brakes, etc, etc. So by mapping the car, you're effectively making it undrivable unless you modify *everything*. In which case, you might as well have just bought the right car in the first place

After all a stock Cooper S or R32 will hold their value better than a boy-racered vRS

Chris

Also, thinking about the original Octavia vRS press car, wasn't that tweaked anyway? So this means that in reality the Mk1 vRS was capable of handling the increased power and torque because the manufacturer did it themselves.

Plus, manufacturers have to take into consideration insurance groups and emissions when releasing a new car, once we have bought them, it's our problem/responsibility.

what a

just my opinion

Couldn't have put it better myself........

As I have said before, Clarkson is a grade A pillock.

As I have said before, Clarkson is a grade A pillock.

Could not agree more

If you decide to upgrade engine power - you have to make sure that brakes, tranny, SWMBO and bank balance are all up to the power increase.

Otherwise you're simply asking for trouble......

did you know that he'll allegedly sue anyone who tries to out him as gay, as popbitch and other messageboards have found out...

Wasn't his main point that mapping is bad for the car though (as VAG have invested a huge amount of money in getting it right)

Yes, but he also ends the article by saying that you should not buy a Mini Cooper, just buy a Mini One and get it remapped, and save your self some cash........... can't have it both ways Mr C

Why have you bothered tweeking your Ford? Surely Ford have invested a huge amount of money in getting it right

Why have you bothered tweeking your Ford? Surely Ford have invested a huge amount of money in getting it right

Because I couldn't afford the car I wanted :rofl:

Chris

Because I couldn't afford the car I wanted :rofl:

Chris

Exactly

I find Mr C quite amusing, but I do feel he needs a reality check and someone to point out to him that not everyone who likes/appreciates cars can afford to go out and purchase 911's, DB9's or Ford GT's etc....

I've also noted that he is rather fond of forgetting previous views/adivce he has dished out. I remember he spent one episode of Top Gear totaly slateing any and every American car going, yet in the next episode he was virtualy "knocking one out" over a Corvette/Chevy or something similar........

Take what he say's with a pinch of salt and enjoy the entertainment are my own personal views on the man

He can certainly still be amusing but the schtick is very old - you remember his "Performance Car" last page columns?

The reason he's still going and remains so successful is us (yes, including me) - we can't help but stick in our oar at his ramblings - it gets us every time. He appears to be bright and not bereft of wit, so I'm sure he deliberately contradicted himself with the "mod a Mini One" comment after 2 pages of explaining why modding is something that should be avoided. It gets the rise he lives on

If you really wanted to learn how to cook you'd watch Delia Smith and not Ready Steady Cook.

Well, actually, if I needed to learn how to cook I'd watch Nigella.

Wasn't his main point that mapping is bad for the car though (as VAG have invested a huge amount of money in getting it right) so if you remap it, you're going to hit limits in the clutch, drive train, flywheel, suspension, brakes, etc, etc. So by mapping the car, you're effectively making it undrivable unless you modify *everything*. In which case, you might as well have just bought the right car in the first place

Chris

That was what he said. As usual, he was at least partly wrong. One of the functions of a good remap is to remove flat spots that were created for drive-by noise tests and steady speed fuel consumption tests. Where he was right was in saying that, subject to brakes and suspension being similar or the same, remapping a lower-powered version of a car to achieve the power of a higher powered version from the same range is good VFM. For example, I'd be surprised if a TDi90 couldn't handle a +20bhp remap.