BLURT !

[Brimma]

If you like cheese, you'll love these!

[Lazy Daisy]

No cheese in my crackers

[Brimma]

I like to lick the butter off my crackers.........how do you eat yours?

[D15VRS]

Blazing Saddles so funny

[Lazy Daisy]

But I was drunk so I didn't mind...

[Harvey1978]

If you woke up with grass stains on your knees and a used condom hanging from your ar$e, would you tell anyone?

No!

You fancy coming camping?

[Lazy Daisy]

It's just not the same when you cough though is it

[stever750]

Holy crap, there's a tiger in my bathroom this morning.

Absinthe really does make the heart grow.

[Hairy Chris]

Mmmmm that's refreshing

[@Lee]

apparently 'tea-bagging' has nothing to do with Earl Grey, though Earl Grey may have enjoyed it, had he known.

[Hairy Chris]

I hate 1/4 turn taps

[richie]

Mmmmmmmmmm, pizza go-go, bbq flavour!!

[Chris Coates]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/agony-aunt/your-problems-solved-with-holly-harper-4-2012051627277

[@Lee]

oh go on, PLEASE can I invite them back, they don't have to join in, they can just watch.

[@Lee]

thirty more and I get another dot, wait, twenty nine after this.

[@Lee]

you're making me make a trouser tent, are we camping?

[Aspman]

Dear Mr Vauxhall I write to insist that you either desist from fitting large body kits to cars with small engines or that you fit a non-removable warning to the centre of the steering wheel of aforementioned models to remind young men that :

THIS CAR IS NOT FAST

Men with small brains and smaller penises should not drive smalls cars with small engines and large body kits. It produces delusions of adequacy and is a danger to other road users.

Please screen your customers appropriately.

[SkodaTC]

...had that awful 'friendly Alsatian' nightmare again last night.

[richie]

A PVC nurses outfit, lube and an Anne Summers device?? Daisy, realy, you want more allready??

[Jonny5ive]

please tell us how well me met your expectations

[Lazy Daisy]

I started the day with a stiff drink and a good friend and finished it with a good drink and a stiff friend

[richie]

I started the day with a stiff drink and a good friend and finished it with a good drink and a stiff friend

This thread is worthless without picks!!

[Lazy Daisy]

but this thread is full of p ricks

[Lazy Daisy]

Lee, what's going on with your piccie ??, one minute it's an aeroplane, the next a fat bloke in a brown T shirt, then a plane again, now the fat blokes back !!

[Brimma]

Gemma Arterton............top totty