BLURT !

[keystonedriving]

You just can't get the wood, these days........

[Latte]

Someone told me that Ski cartons make handy containers for yoghurt!

I found by trial and error that you can fit 282 Litres in if you remove your skis but a good tip is to avoid heavy braking whilst its full if its still roof mounted, as your wipers may fail to cope with the resultant purple shower.

My wipers could not cope when, braking to save a road-sense-free ferret, a good 200 litres of black cherry yoghurt hit the screen at once, and my insurance company would not pay out for the wall and rhubarb field that I thus destroyed.

I tried suing Skody citing the ineffectiveness of the rain-sensing wipers but they managed to wriggle out of it by proving in Brazilian Lab tests overseen by Norris McWhirta that the sensor was not calibrated for yoghurt. Sadly I had to pick up their £362,000 costs too.

[Lazy Daisy]

Valeries hymen

[grr666]

"Well..." hissed Audrey with all the venom she could muster.

"We wouldn't be in this mess if that fat cow Joyce hadn't eaten all the biscuits."

[Aspman]

Oh No! It's the Ninky Nonk!

[Lazy Daisy]

How's your mother ?

[dazman_6]

i like to nibble a boiled egg for breakfast

[SkodaTC]

Reconstructing pencil after over-eager sharpening.

[chicken_eyebrow]

The arsonist had oddly-shaped feet.

[TeflonTom]

We've been through this 100 times, the goat molesting charge was never proven.

[Latte]

Whilst she drove the Bedford through Luton, I hired a Luton in Bedford.

How we larffed.

[PhilP1903]

I bought a transit and travelled to Poland, so i was in a transit in transit to poland ?

[Harvey1978]

Muffin the mule is not a criminal offence

[CFB]

The constipated mathematician worked it out with a pencil

It is not a door, it's a jar

[Lazy Daisy]

So I told him get out the cab.

[Latte]

Apparently Isla St Clair has got over the passing of poor Barry White and married Bryan Ferry. She has kept Barry's name out of respect and also taken Bryans.

She is therefore now Isla White-Ferry.

[phil555]

Lazy Daisy is fit...........

[PhilP1903]

Lazy Daisy is fit...........

His names Barry n he's 30 stone

[Evil Miyagi]

*** does that class as conversation? ***

[Latte]

The OP banishes quoters and responders instantly to the seventh level of hell.

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh....................................hiss.

Thus quoth The Raven.

[CFB]

"Fly, there's a waiter in my soup!"

[Lazy Daisy]

I like tea, Marlboro lights, and lemon curd

[Aspman]

The internet!

Where men are men

Women are men

And children are FBI agents.

[VladSoilerOfCarpets]

And once more, my trousers grow a little tighter.

One day, I will evict the Albanians from them.

[Lazy Daisy]

Half an hour to change a pic, should have used both hands