More questions now I have had more of a chance to look at this.

So the standard door controller definitely doesn't work, it only has enough pins to support the 6 wires that already go in to the mirror (3 for mirror, 2 for mirror heater, and 1 for indicator (Shares ground with heater)

 

I bought a memory motor from ali express, and the pinout guide suggests that one of the pins from the 8 pin connector mirror side goes to pin 3 on the 16 pin connector, but that currently has the shared ground from indicator and mirror heater.

I did see if the motor itself worked by putting the 3 mirror pins into my existing controller and it did but left right was reversed (I could probably live with this if everything else works ok)

 

Did you buy your mirrors with looms, or did you have to do any of the wiring manually ?

I'm getting a feeling I will have to buy a used mirror off ebay with the loom etc. o get this working, I am now waiting on a passenger side 5Q4 door controller to arrive to do some further testing.

So I have now resolved this, have posted a guide here

 

On 24/07/2020 at 21:51, SashaGrace said:

You’ll still need the memory motor which you won’t have unless you have electric seats with memory.

 I have bought the complete mirror with the memory motor waiting on delivery....