Covid 19 Testing - £££!

[john999boy]

Our household has been invited to take part in some CV19 testing by the ONS. Obviously the major plus point is that the test results will assist in the search for a vaccine.

 

Nothing too unusual about that I suppose but it could also prove to be quite lucrative as there's an incentive of up to £450 per person for taking part!

I've missed out the 'how to register' bit as it's for invited people only but here's the financial breakdown. Hopefully the vouchers are for something/somewhere useful.

[J.R.]

£450 wont seem so much after you have had the first 1.2m long pipe cleaner twisted up your nose

 

Alright the length is a bit of an exaggeration but to prepare yourself if ever you have seen an electrician pushing and rotating a fish wire through a conduit you will get the idea.

 

Keep a close eye on their facial reactions because if the end comes out of your ear or another orifice they cant hide their surprise

 

I'm sure like most things you rapidly get used to it and it becomes normal, good luck with the trial.

[moley]

We were also invited to ONS Covid 19 testing, but as I work away most of the time it wasn't possible. I have did a survey for the ONS a couple of years ago as I am self employed where they called each month for a year regarding how many hours I had worked in the month etc. Then in July I did another survey regarding work hours and earnings during the Pandemic for which I received a £25 voucher,

[john999boy]

16 minutes ago, moley said:

for which I received a £25 voucher,

Valid where?

[moley]

6 minutes ago, john999boy said:

Valid where?

You can choose various options, I used them on Amazon. You get an email from the ONS with a link to vouchershopexchange.co.uk there it gives you the choice of where you can use the voucher and it doesn't have to be all in the same place.

[punyXpress]

I bet " vouchershopexchange.co.uk " is owned by a (failed) ex politician ?

Or spouse thereof

[john999boy]

Update.

After reading the accompanying ‘brochure’ about the testing just to make sure that no ‘first born’s’ had to be donated or any other hidden conditions were involved, it appears that about 220,000 households will be randomly invited and the total repayments per person are £425 and not £450.

[Ootohere]

Nadhim Zahawi MP is telling Kay Burley on Sky now that the 'Average anyone needs to travel for a Covid 19 test is 7 miles'.

 

No idea that the Co-Founder of Yougov is talking in England, London or just everywhere but i seriously doubt that is the UK, or anyplace really.

Maybe someone can find where he got the '7 mile average' from.  Maybe Dido provided the figures.

 

EDIT.

So even better.

Matt soon to be Lord Matt Hancock told MP's and the Public yesterday that the Average is 6.7 Miles.

 

I suppose if you test every day all the people that work at Test Centres they had to travel 0 miles to be tested, so that could get the 'Average' well down.

Then the real cunning stunt is, Include the 'Home Tests, those tested in Hospitals, Homes and Work places.  That gets a very good 'Average Miles Travelled'.

 

Edited 11 September, 2020 by e-Roottoot

[Phil-E]

We were staying up at Flensburg northern Germany for a couple of nights this week.

 

We decided to pop across the border to Denmark for the day.

 

As we got across there were signs directing to a building where they were offering free Covid 19 tests. So you could just pop in and get a free test.

[Ootohere]

As happens when you land in Norway. Free test and result in 3 days.

[john999boy]

On 10/09/2020 at 20:37, john999boy said:

Our household has been invited to take part in some CV19 testing by the ONS.

A deja vu moment yesterday when I spotted this numberplate!

 

[Lady Elanore]

I have to say I've had a few C19 tests and they are horrible. It's the fact that the 'dyno-bud' rod they stick in the back of your throat until it's nice and gummy, then goes straight up your hooter, sludge and all. Before anyone says "it's all interconnected" I don't care, throat goo does not belong up my nose. Or as a colleague put it "they shoved a lorry load of phlegm right up my snotter" 

[gadgetman]

On 19/09/2020 at 01:41, Lady Elanore said:

I have to say I've had a few C19 tests and they are horrible. It's the fact that the 'dyno-bud' rod they stick in the back of your throat until it's nice and gummy, then goes straight up your hooter, sludge and all. Before anyone says "it's all interconnected" I don't care, throat goo does not belong up my nose. Or as a colleague put it "they shoved a lorry load of phlegm right up my snotter" 

I was fine with the nose. 

 

It was the gagging. Sarah Millican was very wrong 

[Lady Elanore]

I haven't seen that one, but I can imagine what she might say  

[gadgetman]

3 minutes ago, Lady Elanore said:

I haven't seen that one, but I can imagine what she might say  

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Lady Elanore]

I'm a Geordie and I don't go "eeeeeeeeeeee"

 

"Neee whay" 

 

 

 

 

OK. Perhaps a little....

[john999boy]

On 10/09/2020 at 20:50, J.R. said:

£450 wont seem so much after you have had the first 1.2m long pipe cleaner twisted up your nose

Alright the length is a bit of an exaggeration but to prepare yourself if ever you have seen an electrician pushing and rotating a fish wire through a conduit you will get the idea.

 

On 19/09/2020 at 01:41, Lady Elanore said:

I have to say I've had a few C19 tests and they are horrible. It's the fact that the 'dyno-bud' rod they stick in the back of your throat until it's nice and gummy, then goes straight up your hooter, sludge and all. Before anyone says "it's all interconnected" I don't care, throat goo does not belong up my nose. Or as a colleague put it "they shoved a lorry load of phlegm right up my snotter" 

 

A bit of an update.

It's taken a month for the first swab and blood tests to be done but I was also told there'd been an update to how the results are relayed.

Initially doctor's were solely informed and trialists would only have been contacted in the event of a positive test. Now everyone is informed whether you have, or have had Covid.

The pipe cleaner wasn't quite 1.2m long as @J.R. suggested though.

My test was self administered - in the gagging areas and then up my snotter as Amanda so eloquently wrote.

[NJRJ]

We're just started on the ONS Covid trial/track/trace/spy (on frankly boring ******s), or whatever it's called...

It really isn't too pleasant trying to dislodge your own tonsils (with a mega long q-tip) and then giving your hooter a good prod with the same prong. BUT I will not scour my nasal passages first and then swab my tonsils (as that's akin to eating a bogey).

[Lady Elanore]

If you haven't had the procedure done to you before, then it is really surprising how far up they ram the cotton lance. I've seen similar things done with more subtlety at the pole vault! I don't think I could stick it so far up my nose by myself, as it crazy how far they shove it

 

 

Disclaimer: it might also indicate an extremely large cavity behind my eyes and above my nasal passage?

[StevesTruck]

The self administered doorstep tests don't need you to do that. You just go round the tonsils and far enough into the nostril to wet the swab. 

[Lady Elanore]

4 hours ago, StevesTruck said:

The self administered doorstep tests don't need you to do that. You just go round the tonsils and far enough into the nostril to wet the swab. 

 

 

I wish they would administer those test when I've had it done. Sounds much more reasonable (assuming it's reliable) 

[Ootohere]

To know if the tests are reliable you first have to get the results back reliably.

 

So there is a fail right from the off, then if you get the results you have to not lose them, so again there has been fails.

 

After you have the results if people ignore them because they are feeling perfectly well so distrust the test then we get to where we are now.

[john999boy]

Just for clarification, the next 4 (self administered) tests will be done weekly at a mutually convenient time. If there is a timing  problem then the nurse is able to post the test and pick up the snotted stick the following morning.

It's only the blood tests that need taking/couriering on a daily basis. Milton Keynes is the final destination for the testing in this area.

[StevesTruck]

 

That's the same sort of test the ONS are using.

Edited 11 October, 2020 by StevesTruck

[Lady Elanore]

That's the 'snowflake' way of doing a snoz lancing