Remeber your school days! Were you a bully/bullied?

[bobz]

I was relentlessly bullied at secondary school for God knows why!

I really hate the Bas***ds that absolutely made my life hell.

I can honestly say that i am one to hold a grudge, and that if one of the stepped in-front of my car I would have no problem 'forgetting' to brake!

I remember seeing something in the news papers a few months back about a lad who beet the hell out of someone he saw in a snooker hall.

It later transpired that he had been bully by that person and (luckily for him) got away with it as the Judge could completely understand the reasoning his actions.

And as Teflon Tom says;

any-who. i don't like bullies, and to anybody who is reading it is tough being bullied, tell somebody. a friend, a teacher. - or if all else fails we'll send round the briskoda-mafia to bust a cap in their ar$e

[fatbob]

Got bullied at secondary school in third year by a group of five lads, it got to the stage that they were everywhere I went. I was a quiet lad who always turned away from a fight, I wasn't a coward I just didn't like the odds of five to one against. I got beaten up several times then one of the ring leaders (considered to be a right hard man) picked on my girl friend, bad move! I found him when I was with a group of my Air Cadet buddies. There was no interferance from his chums, I remember thinking after his first punch landed that I couldn't accept this anymore, I must not lose, and that's the last thing about the fight I remember. My friends dragged me off him, apparently I was making funny noises while I banged his head off of the pavement. Never had any bother at school after that.

I now hate bullies with a passion. If I can hurt them I will.

[greg2302]

At various times I was bullied, and was a bully myself. Not to extremes you understand, I don't remember ever getting a decent kicking, or giving one out. It didn't seem such a big deal back in the 80s though, it was just the law of the playground etc .....

[KenONeill]

That sort of thing went on all the time at the co-ed schools I was at Emily. Whether you were being nasty or just rude/funny is more important than whether you did that sort of stuff I think.

[MikeW]

I got bullied at school, never been the same since, have no confidence when it comes to relationships and being in crowded areas.

[Emily-Elizabeth]

Has anyone ever thought about going back and seeing the poeple that bullied you at school?

[Chris GB]

Hi Emily

I got placed at a "hard" school the year catchment zones were introduced. The school was the one nearest to my home, but was unfortunately the one where all the scum that got expelled from other schools in the area ended up. Being intelligent and proud of it, I got perpetual grief from older lads and as a result, got grief from the lads in my year as well.

It took a few years, but when I learned that taking out the ring leader worked, things settled down and the trouble stopped. Problem is they pushed me so far that I seriously contemplated killing one of them. Only the prospect of getting caught stopped me.

I reckon it had quite an effect on me though. Before school, I used to be very peacable and would do anything to avoid trouble. Unfortuantely, after I left school, I sort of went off the rails a bit and though I would never start trouble, I did enjoy it if it was happening. A string of court appearences for various incidents, all fortuantely unproven, went on through the 80s. By the 1990s, I had calmed down a lot and had, until recently, stayed out of bother.

Bullying is the lowest or basest manifestation of insecurity. It is not limited to the school either. I have seen it in the workplace, where I have been proactive in bringing it to a halt immediately.

Has anyone ever thought about going back and seeing the poeple that bullied you at school?

To be honest, by the time I left school, I had it sussed out. I stayed in touch with the few decent people with whom I shared social activities and never saw the rest. As for those that bullied me, I would not p1ss on them if they were on fire and would laugh out loud if I read or heard that one of them had died. Goes to show how much it affected me I guess. If I did see any of them, I dont know how I would react, but would quite possibly be on the offensive to see if I could provoke them. This was the case when I bumped into one of them around 10 years ago. He proved to be a wimp and a nobody when on his own, much like when he was at school.

Of course, the best answer to your question would be "Its academic as they are all dead now":rofl:

And back to a serious note, anyone being bullied, as said above, report it. Suffering in silence is going to damage you for life, sorting it out yourself could get you into all sorts of trouble.

Chris

[pixi]

Bullying is the lowest or basest manifestation of insecurity

Absolutely.

[Emily-Elizabeth]

When I started this post I never really meant to hit the nerve that I feel I have. Those examples that I posted at start was just girls being girls - having a bitch and a general gripe at each other. My purpose was to get the light hearted side of amusing stories from school days.

I am saying this because I do not want to appear that I have a dismissive attitude to the seriousness of the matter. I guess I was doing a typical Emily and not thinking things through to the fullest extent from other's expericances. Apologies.

[Leon-y-k]

i remember being spat on, when i was on my way home on the school bus because i was a "*****" or a "halfcast" it really put me down. i remember being pushed, cornered, allsorts school was a nasty place for me....ignorant small minded people that live in the villages down here. i did have good friends too but there were some nasty peices of work. funny how the last year everybody loved me:confused: but its nice to know i get the respect i should of had from day 1

[tinkerbell]

It's actually shocked me as to how much bullying takes place, it's not really something I noticed very much at school, maybe I was oblivious to it all.

Saying that though, there have been two children from the high school near my house that have both hung themselves in the last year :( , a boy last year, I think who was about 11/12 and a girl a couple of weeks ago who was 13 :( :(

Very, very sad indeed :(

[Leon-y-k]

College was alot better.

i agree college had to be the best time of my life so far so many people so many people that were so friendly and easy to get on with. never had a single problem at college:)

[Chris GB]

When I started this post I never really meant to hit the nerve that I feel I have. Those examples that I posted at start was just girls being girls - having a bitch and a general gripe at each other. My purpose was to get the light hearted side of amusing stories from school days.

I am saying this because I do not want to appear that I have a dismissive attitude to the seriousness of the matter. I guess I was doing a typical Emily and not thinking things through to the fullest extent from other's expericances. Apologies.

Might not have gone the way you expected, but good thread anyway. It is surprising how many people have been affected by bullying one way or another. It could be called character building for those that survive it and overcome it, but I am sure there are many who suffer the after effects all their lives.

Chris

[CupraR-Rog]

It's taken me a while to be able to hit the "reply" button for this thread... and over an hour to write this reply!!

I hated School so much, that decisions made to get out will be staying with me for the rest of my life...

As a kid we moved house a lot with my father's job. This meant I had a mixed accent. This wasn't really an issue until, when I was 8 we moved to Cardiff.

I was the skinny kid with the funny accent then!

The remainder of Primary School from what I can remember was ok-ish - nothing more than the usual primary school playground torments, especially those given when I became the fat kid with the funny accent (very quick weight gain!). Overall though, I do remember not really feeling fully accepted - something a classmate said at the time to another kid in the school one lunch still sticks in my mind - when I was being teased my classmate said to the teaser "why don't you just be his friend?"

Secondary school was where things really started to go wrong. Perhaps already feeling slightly isolated, I didn't make that many friends, and really did feel left out.

With a bit of a temper that had built up from the primary school bullying, in secondary school this turned very much into a game for others to play where they would wind me up until the point I snapped. This would then get me into trouble with those doing the winding getting away with it!!

I do recall my (older) sister spotting this happen at least once, and it's amazing how quickly the teasers back off when faced with an older kid!!

Sports day was always a horror for me - wondering what event the appointed people in the class are going to put my name down for, knowing full well I'd fail at it - I was accused of letting the team down when I didn't turn up to do the hurdles one year!! I was fat. I couldn't do the hurdles. They knew this, but still wished to subject me to this!

However, my memories of school are those of isolation and being set-up, and the only time I was in a crowd was when I was being teased... I still avoid crowded places today, and on the odd occasion I go to a night club, I'll avoid the crowded ones! It's even to the point where if I'm in a supermarket and an aisle is getting crowded I'll be considering ditching the trolley and getting out of there!!

Sitting my GCSE's at 16 I vowed never to return to school. Years 10 and 11 had seen a reduction in the teasing to the point where, at the end of year 11 I even had people starting to talk to me normally. I still wasn't part of any group - to be honest, I didn't know how to interact with people!! Also, I trusted no-one...

I left school with 10 GCSE's, graded 2 A*'s, 4 A's and 4 B's. My teachers were shocked when they saw I had not even considered A-levels - something which part of me regrets now! But there was no way I could have stayed at school!

I left school with 1 friend - the kid across the street from me, who I'd not really had much to do with in school... Still don't have masses to do with him now to be honest!

I got an apprenticeship when I left school, which included a year full time in college. This was better to live with than school, but, a very fast learning curve for me!!

I mean, who wants to be friends with the quiet one who doesn't know how to interact?

Where everyone had stories of girlfriends, things they'd got up to with their mates etc, I had nothing to offer...

...saying that though, I did eventually feel a part of the group after it was accepted that I was the quiet one!! Still found it difficult to trust tho...

Internet chat rooms were a salvation... still in touch regularly with one girl I got in contact through them! It's probably the chat rooms that got me my eccentric streak tho...

It was during the apprenticeship I started wishing I had done the university route - I had a day release to uni and to be honest I started to enjoy it! The mix of people meant everyone got along... I guess I got on well with others because i would knuckle down and do the work and not mess about... and when group work needed homework it could be guaranteed I'd get it done - hey, I was more than used to getting on with my work!

In the workplace tho, I wouldn't say I was bullied, but just not really accepted other than by a very few people. I tried tho...

It was through one of these few people that I met the girl that's now my g/f... but more on that in a bit...

At the end of my apprenticeship, I left that workplace and eventually moved to the employer I have now. Surprisingly, another apprentice from my old workplace (started a year before me, but ended the same year!) now sits on the desk next to mine! However, I was still relatively quiet, and I feel that's why my line manager behaves the way he does towards me - yes, there is a long running issue there!!

However, being the young blood of the section, I seem to have fitted in quite well with most of the staff, even those in other sections. OK, I don't go drinking with them, but I never really got in to that scene (crowds, remember?).

But what is it that got me out of my shell?

When people started taking an interest!!

I met my g/f when I was invited on a weekend away - actually, it was when I was invited back for the 2nd weekend! I was 18 at the time, she 17.

Now, we didn't get into a relationship then - she already had a b/f (and then had another one after!), and we didn't spend that much time together at first, but gradually drifted closer together.

She's probably the best thing that's happened to me - she always said she would be, and would get me out of my shell!!

Anyway, at 21yrs old and with people taking an interest, I was starting to open up. I bought the LCR which put me in touch with nutters like yourselves , experienced some uni-weekend life with the not-then-but-is-now g/f, and, well, am now nothing like the shy person who, at 18, could barely cope with a girl wanting to give me a kiss!! :-o

Some people do say that I am a bit eccentric now, but so what? I long ago learnt that people can either take me as I come, or miss out!

So, I may not be your normal 24yr old - weight up and down like a yo-yo, spent Christmas 2004 signed off work with stress caused by the situation there, barely drink, no interest in sport, wild stories that only go a few years back at the oldest, and very few friends... but think how I got here...

And yes, I do still have a bit of an accent!!

[Chris GB]

Hi to All

So we can see plenty of us less than enjoyed school as a result of bullying, but I just wonder how many of us would regard ourselves as stronger or more powerful people than the crowd, having had to learn early on to be independent?

It would seem that anyone who is not completely average will cop it when it comes to bullying. I stood out from the crowd for 3 reasons and copped it a fair bit, but I would not change the way I am now and that must be partly due to what happened to me then. So anybody else feel that they came out of it stronger than the average? Some noteable people had hell at school. I remember Sir John Harvey Jones (this man should have been PM IMO) recounting his schooldays, and look how well he did.

Chris

[CupraR-Rog]

I came out of school feeling as though I'd missed out on a huge part of my life... in fact, the school stories that my g/f tells me (parties etc) confirm that. Also, my schooling led me not to go to uni, which I regret now, but, if I'd gone to uni I wouldn't have met my g/f... swings and roundabouts.

Stronger person? I don't think so.

One who lost his teenage years and everything that comes with being a teenager? Yup.

[KenONeill]

When I started this post I never really meant to hit the nerve that I feel I have. Those examples that I posted at start was just girls being girls - having a bitch and a general gripe at each other. My purpose was to get the light hearted side of amusing stories from school days.

I am saying this because I do not want to appear that I have a dismissive attitude to the seriousness of the matter. I guess I was doing a typical Emily and not thinking things through to the fullest extent from other's expericances. Apologies.

Not really hit a nerve with me; as I sorta implied earlier, I thought you were maybe reading something into your own experiences that wasn't really the case.

[Dmac1969]

Yeah I was bullied , luckily it never went beyond verbals , but It did affect me , even now I think about the lad that did it to me and wish i could stab the **** outa him , it affected my schooling too , at middle school i was a straight A student , but I ended up leaving high school with no qualifications what so ever. I also still to this day have very low self esteem , I suppose getting called an ugly fat ******* every day for 3 years has that sort of effect on ya....

[VikkiVRS]

lol school days i always used to lol get bullied but think i may have got stronger thru it well hope i have i am now really really happy etc......

[JMK2]

Have kept off this thread - too many painful memories about school.

I got bullied at school - I was fat (still am) wore spectacles (still do) was ungly (SWMBO will confirm). I'm also mildly dyslexic which wasn't picked up in the late 1970's/early 1980's.

First private (Prep) school was a village state primary where I floundered badly. Parents put me in the private system. 1st Prep school was excellent - they got me to read, write, do maths etc... so I was top/near top of class. Sports were a problem not being 'athletic' but overall was good.

Then after 2 years, just before I was 10 I was sent to a catholic boarding (prep) school. I was homesick, teaching was not good, english in particular was bad and this lead to the start of problems. OK bullying was low and I was OK but in a school of 90 it was under control.

At 13 took common entrance exam. Again apart from maths my academic ability was classed as low - it wasn't just dyslixia and poor english meant most of what I wrote was uncomprehendable. Anyway scraped in at a poor public (private) school 210 miles from where I lived - so boarding again.

This is where the trouble started. 50 kids in the same year, no supervision, seing your parents only at school holidays and of course, with the exception of maths, being put in the no hope 3rd set with the worst teachers. Not surprisingly I left school with 1 O level (Maths) in 1984, and a complete wreck. Bullying was rife, private possessions were ruined. I gave up on everything even keeping schoolwork in order. One teacher actually hit me - why - not because I was causing trouble - I was such a wreck I couldn't draw a straight line with a ruler - I was so nervous of being in his lessons. That teacher is still teaching, came from a rough inner city comp - he should have been sacked for what he did.

Then after leaving school I worked for my parents for 3 years, eventually getting to college (into IT). This lead to polly, work and uni. But I lost at least 3 years of my life catching up. I also got my English Language GCSE as a night class as well as a BTEC ND, HND and 2:2 Hons degree. So I did catch up.

But it did also affect my private life - why do you think I was still single at 38... This has recently changed thank gawd.

That said I am still a believer in education and if I do have kids I will vet the schools they go to, not necessarily academic ability but to ensure that my potential children are

happy. If this means pivate education so be it but would not necessarily choose this over a state school.