Cold calls

[MJallday]

fed up with the amount of cold calls i get - i have taken to giving one of the following responces

1) pretend im burgling the place - say "i dont live here, but theyve got a nice VCR"

2) tell them "my current deal involves 200 free minutes, 100 text messages and a free Giraffe every month" and try to get them to beat it on the giraffe

3) tell them i DO want a conservatory, but i live on the 15th floor of a tower block

4) start speaking indian at them (aka Apu from the simpsons)

5) when they finish their sentance say "so thats 3 fried rice, 2 kormas and did you want Naan with that?"

6) pretend im dead (usually you get "ill ring back later then" - to which you respond - im not going to be alive later am i?)

one of these 6 usually gets rid of people

[Xavier]

Telephone Preference Service.

Stops all cold calls. If they still pester you, they're breaking the law and you can take legal action

TPS Registration

[MJallday]

TPS and MPS works for more scrupulous companies

we're registered with them, but we still get calls, when we tell them we're on TPS they either hang up or give us a false number.... bloody barstewards - thats why ive taken to wasting as much time as possible with them

[andy2407]

I agree that TPS works for most calls, but as you say some still come through.

I used to get myself wound up and hurl abuse at them, but I guess the individual on the phone is only doing their job (and would probably do something else if they could), so my current tactics are: -

1. Say something like "Oh - that sounds interesting - just hold on a second" and then put the handset down without actually hanging up. Hopefully this will waste at least a minute of their time if they think they have a prospective customer.

2. If they are reading from a script, say "Can I just interupt you there. Please can you tell me what your favourite cheese is". Whatever the answer, say "Sorry, if that's the case I can't continue". Like the giraffe method, its not one that they are likely to have a ready answer for

[anonymouse]

Used to get one very annoying company (despite having registered etc with TPH) - always rang at tea-time etc.

Finally interrupted the foreign lady in mid 'spout' -

"Do you have a database ?"

"Yes, sir. Why ?"

"Well take my goddamn name off it and never ever ring again."

And it worked

[octav.ed]

Telephone Preference Service.

Stops all cold calls. If they still pester you, they're breaking the law and you can take legal action

TPS Registration

signed up. fockin nitemare these company's phoning, alway's waken me up when i'm on night's. :( barsteward's.:( hopefully this will stop most of it.

[kit]

i always find that F*ck off works a treat!!.....or is your mother proud!!

[Buster]

Tell them, "hold on, just got to go and take a ****, c'os I'm touching cloth!". They've hung up pretty fast when I've said that.

[pixi]

I have just received a great cold call from Barclaycard, to cut a long story short it went a bit like this......'you have elected NOT to be contacted by phone to be informed of products etc, so can I tell you more about products over the phone today?' :confused: :confused:

[cheezemonkhai]

I have just received a great cold call from Barclaycard, to cut a long story short it went a bit like this......'you have elected NOT to be contacted by phone to be informed of products etc, so can I tell you more about products over the phone today?' :confused: :confused:

Ohh nice you can have them for that

[DaveI]

I once spent a day cleansing our database, ringing customers up and making sure we have the most up to date contacts, email addresses and so on. It was the most soul destroying day of my life! Even though they weren't cold calls and I wasn't seling anything people were so 'off' with me.

We don't do it anymore after the stick I gave my bosses over that day!

['daiking']

I once spent a day cleansing our database, ringing customers up and making sure we have the most up to date contacts, email addresses and so on. It was the most soul destroying day of my life! Even though they weren't cold calls and I wasn't seling anything people were so 'off' with me.

We don't do it anymore after the stick I gave my bosses over that day!

Back in my temping days after uni, I was so desperate I had to take a job with a telephone marketing company. The job involved cold calling companies and trying to find out info on people in important positions: MD, FD, HR Mgrs, Office managers etc. so it could be logged on database to sell to other companies who could target specific individuals with direct marketing.

I spent an hour sat next to a man with all the charm of a fetid turd trying to flirt this info out of receptionists/secretaries around the country with almost no success. When he turned to me and said it was my turn, I got up and walked out. I later worked for Onetel doing call backs rather than cold calling and that was much easier.

Having been on both sides of the coin, I just try to be polite and firm and say I'm not interested in products being sold. Although I'll quite happily do market research over the phone as they're only trying to make a living and I once got

[UncleBuck]

I find letting my 9 year old answer the phone works pretty well!

[VWD]

Used to get one very annoying company (despite having registered etc with TPH) - always rang at tea-time etc.

Finally interrupted the foreign lady in mid 'spout' -

"Do you have a database ?"

"Yes, sir. Why ?"

"Well take my goddamn name off it and never ever ring again."

And it worked

I use the line "remove number under the data protection (telephony) act - " -seems to work.

And -

"If they are reading from a script, say "Can I just interupt you there. Please can you tell me what your favourite cheese is". Whatever the answer, say "Sorry, if that's the case I can't continue". Like the giraffe method, its not one that they are likely to have a ready answer for " --- brilliant-must try it .

[KenONeill]

Just say "I'm sorry, there's no-one of that name at this address."

[okeh]

I always pretend im interested in whatever their hawking and say i need to go and get a pen

Then leave them hanging on the phone whilst i carry on doing whatever i was doing before they rang me

i often wonder how long it takes for them to realise that i wont be coming back to the phone:D