Trick or Treat Guidelines

[GentleGiant]

Feel free to print out and stick to your front door.

Trick or Treat Guidelines

If your voice has changed, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you're pregnant with a future trick-or-treater, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you have a driver's license, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you can touch the top of the door without standing on tiptoe, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you can go as a hobo simply by not shaving that morning, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you're worried about what all that sugar is going to do to your teeth, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you can buy alcohol without showing i.d., you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you no longer say, "Eeew, yucky," when people kiss in the movies, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you have serious cleavage, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If your braces have come off because your orthodontia is finished, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you've already given away your Barbie collection, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If you're trick-or-treating with a date, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If taxes are withheld from your paycheck, you are too old to trick-or-treat.

If the person at the door keeps putting handfuls of candy in your bag while saying, "Please don't hurt me," you are too old to trick-or-treat.

Feel free to add any new guideline you think of.

Edited 27 October, 2012 by GentleGiant

[Chronicbint]

If you are English you don't Trick or Treat.

[CFB]

Turn all the lights out, lock the doors and take the batteries out of the bell.

Have an early night

[Jonny5ive]

I put a sign up one year saying, New Baby sleeping, no trick or treat. It errrr.... worked a treat

[VladSoilerOfCarpets]

If you're not a massive ****, don't trick or treat.

[Raf_]

Unless you are a 6ft buxom blonde in a skimpy costume pi55 off lol

Sent from my Galaxy S3, not a Crapple!

[Paul007]

I'm sure there's one for a sign about Jimmy Saville....

[vRS19TD]

Unless you are a 6ft buxom blonde in a skimpy costume pi55 off lol

Sent from my Galaxy S3, not a Crapple!

Don't need to be 6ft. Holly Willoughby or Kaley Cuoco lookalikes in skimpy outfits are more than welcome.

[jgcsteve13]

If you are English you don't Trick or Treat.

too true just american begging . yet more of their sh:t@ that has crept into our country

[Aspman]

up here we used to go guising (guy-zing) which was a bit like trick or treat except you had to tell a funny story or joke or sing a song to get some cash or sweets. Not just turn up at the door and ask for cash.

[Graeme B]

up here we used to go guising (guy-zing) which was a bit like trick or treat except you had to tell a funny story or joke or sing a song to get some cash or sweets. Not just turn up at the door and ask for cash.

Kids still do that up here too.

[FUBAR]

[kevberlin]

That must be Alice Cooper prior to make-up!

[VladSoilerOfCarpets]

Just found my chainsaw, an old black jumpsuit and a suitably odd mask... might play tricks on the trick or treaters... see how they like it...

[GentleGiant]

I hang a hose pipe out of the bathroom window and over the front door with a "Trick or Treaters Welcome" sign, strangely I hardly get any.

[john96]

Just found my chainsaw, an old black jumpsuit and a suitably odd mask... might play tricks on the trick or treaters... see how they like it...

I had a similar thought. Want to sit in a chair in a dark corner of my garden. When the kids come, scare the **** out of em ! Knowing my luck it will prob be some hard teenagers !!

[ben10]

Just found my chainsaw, an old black jumpsuit and a suitably odd mask... might play tricks on the trick or treaters... see how they like it...

Reminds me of one year we were having a halloween party, i was dressed as jason from 'friday the 13th' everytime the door knocked i'd open it and just stand there and stare.............. we don't seem to get them anymore!

[Jockdooshbag]

up here we used to go guising (guy-zing) which was a bit like trick or treat except you had to tell a funny story or joke or sing a song to get some cash or sweets. Not just turn up at the door and ask for cash.

We used to make a big thing of going guysing / guising, dont know spelling, everyone spent ages making really good costumes and everyone did a joke or a funny poem etc. Looked forward to it all year. Most people took you into the house and did dunking for apples or toffee apples hanging on a string, whatever that game was called, or some other fun activity. Nowadays its just pants. Throw on a mask and tell a crap joke or just stand there with a sack held open waiting for a treat.

Bah humbug. Bring back the good old days. As it is i'll be lying on the floor with the TV and lights off and a sign saying small baby sleeping so dont ring the bell. If this fails i will don my jimmy saville outfit and answer the door.

Trick or treating.....aaarrrrggggghhhhhhh. Its bloody guysing. Next we will be celebrating thanksgiving.

[Chronicbint]

[MartynVRS]

It's another Americanism that can do one. I never went trick or treating because I was brought up that if I wanted something I worked and saved for it and bought things with my own money, rather than beg others for it. We always take all the cars and go up my Grandparents. Miles from anyone so all the cars are safe from any inbreds who fancy throwing eggs at them.

[David 8]

I've always sent the kids to the house round the corner, with the sign that reads something like.

We are christians, we don't belive in Halloween Please don't knock the door.

They never answer ??

[spencer88]

Got my water pistol and bleach ready

[GentleGiant]

You'd get done for assault on a minor if you tried that in todays PC climate.

[BossFox]

Get a tub of quality street out that one of your tight relatives bought you last Christmas.

Eat the ones you like.

Give the others to trick or treaters.

After two years they stopped coming round...

[grr666]

I went out and did £8 on snack size choccy bars today.

Bottom line is, I'd rather buy a few choccy bars than clean eggs off my wifes

car in the rain. It's peed down here most of the evening so

we've only had a few. And now I have a big stash of lovely choccy :p