Kids inheritance spent

[Truthseeker]

Times we live, world we create huh? Here fits Cicero's saying I guess... "O tempora!  O mores!" 

Translation - "Oh the times! Oh the customs!"

 

Had to look that up though.

[FlintstoneR1]

With Uni tuition fees now at £9000/yr virtually everywhere (Nick Clegg is right off my Christmas card list I can tell you!), then bank of Dad is very much where I'm at right now.  As for house deposits, etc. I'm already telling my 3 girls not to expect fancy weddings. More like a Ryan Air ticket for two and send us a snapshot of the beach ceremony, than gypsy style. Or even better - just live together.

Edited 18 October, 2013 by FlintstoneR1

[7029bob]

Please see my post 22 above - my comments, which were very general and non-specific, were certainly not aimed at you, or indeed anyone in this forum.  They are, however, appropriate to a certain mentality which seems to have become popular over recent years, and it's creating considerable intergenerational friction.

 

Nuff said, I do tend to blow a bit when ruffled.

[Brijo]

I'm sure there's a balance to be struck.  If you think of it as 'The Family Bank' rather than 'The Bank of Mum and Dad' (even though M and D may be majority shareholders!) then any available resources tend to go wherever is most necessary or appropriate.  It is not contradictory that M and D should be able to enjoy later life after perhaps several decades of supporting children and grandchildren. 

 

The younger generations should understand that, just as the older generation should remember who's going to be choosing the Care Home   ....

[hmibennett]

This 'family' bank has shelled out on two daughters' weddings, help with buying first and then upgraded houses, and now the first grandchild has arrived with another on the way ... hence I and SWMBO have no guilt now about enjoying ourselves and spending on us (and even then, as we are investing in property, it's all for the good of the children in the long run). Especially - and sadly - since a number of relatives, friends, former colleagues have died recently or have had serious illnesses diagnosed (and none of them older than in their mid-60s, as are we).

[7029bob]

Maybe I should have given my post header a bit more thought as this is a Yeti forum and I seem to have unwittingly led members away from our common interest in the beast.

Apologies to mods ,will not happen again.

I was only trying to get members views and their experiences on changing their Yetis.

But you must admit it would have made a good subject in off topic .

[Merlinman]

We were more than happy to finance our daughter through uni, with the result that she came back after four years debt free. We were also pleased to be able to fund her first apartment and her recent wedding - all things which were sadly beyond the means of our parents.

Happily still enough left for us to enjoy Yeti life!

Good health is a major bonus

[Brijo]

...it would have made a good subject in off topic .

 

I wouldn't worry about it!  Most  Many  Some  A lot of    One or two Yeti topics wander away from the point a bit, as conversations between friends can do.  If senior members of the Government and of the Official Opposition are allowed in Parliament to give answers to different questions from the ones they've actually been asked, a little digression should be quite acceptable on this forum

[Freshacre]

Especially - and sadly - since a number of relatives, friends, former colleagues have died recently or have had serious illnesses diagnosed (and none of them older than in their mid-60s, as are we).

This, of all the comments in this thread, either ruffled or unruffled, seemingly selfish or magnanimous, has to be THE most important of the lot.

My mantra is to make every day special for those around you because you never know what is around the corner.

Three days before our planned wedding my Sally got the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, and the week after was under the surgeon and his knife back in 2007.

Two years later, just after our second anniversary she was admitted to our local Hospice and four weeks after that, she left us at just 54 - leaving a 17 year old daughter, just doing A levels and set for Uni. Her diagnosis came as that poor lass was doing her GCSEs.

And it was for all those reasons I resurrected a defunct comedy band for some concerts and raised £25k for the Hospice. Our fiddler had lost his wife of 44 in the same Hospice, from lung cancer - the reason for our last performance 20 years previously.

This isn't to have you reaching for Kleenex, but to remind us all that every day matters NOW, and to say things that should be said, do things that should be done, and say "I love you " whenever you can.

All the planning in the world, the good intentions, the help can come to zero if misfortune strikes.

Do it today, now, and don't put it off.

Edited 18 October, 2013 by Freshacre

[OldBoy]

I couldnt have said it better Freshacre! Exactly my thoughts on the matter and way of living my every day. 

If only permitted I would add the lyrics of this song...

"So if you think you love some one 

try, try, try
because that one may be your one.
So if you love her, 
think only of her, 
take the time tell her today.

And when with out her,
everythings harder 
take the time
drop everything 
tell her today"

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By5_EQvDV4U

[wakev]

The bank of  mum and dad is still open to my son at 26 years old, wedding, party's, and looooooooooooooads  of other things. would have been the same for my daughter sadly lost at the age of 7weeks 27 years ago next month.

 

 Its more a case of you help them through life in any way you can, have fun and the things you want, and anything left at the end of your days they are more than welcome to have and enjoy, and hopefully share with your grandchildren to help them.  Well that's my view, and you cannot take it with you 

[Its me]

I'd have loved to have seen my parents enjoying themselves and improving their quality of life rather than thinking that they had to leave an inheritance to people who had no need of the money.

Regards all

Juan

Sent from my iPhone using my thumbs

[oriki]

Thanks for that - I just find posts from people boasting about 'spending the kids' inheritance' a bit irksome.  Met it on holiday, too - people boasting about spending all their money to stop their children getting their hands on it, whilst those same children are struggling to raise the deposit on a house!  I know people in this area who've frittered away upwards of 50k on cars, holidays etc whilst their children are struggling to make ends meet.

 

OK - it's their money, to do with as they please, but it does seem a bit hard on the children to me.  I suppose it all depends on your priorities.  I don't see it as particularly altruistic - there's a great deal of personal pleasure in seeing your children (and grandchildren) happy and settled.  IHT benefits too!

I totally agree with you.

Helping the next generation whilst we are still alive,fit and well is a pleasure.I know a couple of stories from people I know who got very little if any help from their aging parents (well off indeed I have to state) and found themselves waiting for their parents to die so they could get the much needed money.As someone here stated,we are buried with empty pockets anyway,so why not give while we are alive?

I think it all boils down to wether or not one is open hearted and enjoys giving , or being stingy.

[oriki]

We were more than happy to finance our daughter through uni, with the result that she came back after four years debt free. We were also pleased to be able to fund her first apartment and her recent wedding - all things which were sadly beyond the means of our parents.

Happily still enough left for us to enjoy Yeti life!

Good health is a major bonus

Good parents!

[oriki]

I thought the topic title was a tongue in cheek way of just saying he brought a new car. Nothing to be irked at.

 

Im choosing not to have kids personally, as im too selfish and like spending money on myself and my wife! Cars, holidays and enjoying my life is more important than passing a "legacy" on. Not to mention the state of this horrible world we live in, which will be even worse when kids of today grow up.

 

But thats even more O/T...........maybe one for another thread.

Hate to tell you this,but most if not all people who opt to have no children when they are young,deeply regret their decision only when it is too late.

[33q]

Hate to tell you this,but most if not all people who opt to have no children when they are young,deeply regret their decision only when it is too late.

...and the facts to support this statement are where?

[hmibennett]

Moderation in all things as always, fellow Briskodians! I think all that most people are saying here - it certainly applies to me and my previous post - is that it's good (where appropriate and applicable) to (a) help your children get married, buy houses, raise children, etc., ( enjoy your own mature years, rather than putting off enjoyment into an unknown future, and © still have something to leave to your descendants. Oh, and two other things, of course: (i) having enough spare to enjoy Yeti ownership, and (ii) assuming we are from the 'golden generation,' which is - relatively speaking - very well off compared with many others.

[7029bob]

As I'm the chap who misguidedly started this post which I never meant to go in the direction it appears to be taking,would it be poss for a mod to step in and put a stop to it as I'm afraid someone is going to be offended.

The subject was started in a light hearted manor with no intention of judging anyone..

Thank you all for your views.

 

Bob

[Sinky72]

As I'm the chap who misguidedly started this post which I never meant to go in the direction it appears to be taking,would it be poss for a mod to step in and put a stop to it as I'm afraid someone is going to be offended.

The subject was started in a light hearted manor with no intention of judging anyone..

Thank you all for your views.

 

Bob

To be perfectly honest, I took it very light hearted and tongue in cheek, in fact it made me laugh bit as it's something i'd say   Like someone has already mentioned, I took it more like you bought a car and it was a humorous way of saying it.

[Fairyvan]

Ditto!   

[Frenchtone]

^^^^ as above , bought Yeti to help my wife enjoy what bit of life she had left, 6 months, she did enjoy most of it as the yeti was/is easier to enter / exit than the previous Berlingo, however, had there been an opportunity to pay the dosh to length her life i would have gladly spent it on that! - its now almost 2 years!

[Truthseeker]

^^^^ as above , bought Yeti to help my wife enjoy what bit of life she had left, 6 months, she did enjoy most of it as the yeti was/is easier to enter / exit than the previous Berlingo, however, had there been an opportunity to pay the dosh to length her life i would have gladly spent it on that! - its now almost 2 years!

Very brave and so kind of you but also so sad. Does put all the other comments into perspective though. 

[fordfan]

I'll lock it.

 

As a Freedom member, you can lock your own topics.