Singing in the shower.........

[Auric Goldfinger]

I was singing in the shower this afternoon and Mrs G shouted "  DON'T GIVE UP YOU DAY JOB  "  I haven't the guts to tell her I already have   

 

 

[@Lee]

36 minutes ago, Auric Goldfinger said:

I was singing in the shower this afternoon and Mrs G shouted "  DON'T GIVE UP YOU DAY JOB  "  I haven't the guts to tell her I already have   

 

 

Where does she think you go now you're not on your train drivers  4 days on 26 days off rota 

[Auric Goldfinger]

31 minutes ago, Lee01 said:

Where does she think you go now you're not on your train drivers  4 days on 26 days off rota 

 

I go out every morning at 9 ( Mrs G gone to work by then ) and get into a Open reach Van, the hours are much better, 3 days on and 30 off Rota Oh!..... and as much tea as I can drink  

[mac11irl]

A woman who retired from our office a few years ago went on job sharing yeeears ago. 2weeks on, 2weeks off alternating with a colleague.

Her husband only found out when, after a 8months of this arrangement, he rang the office one day to tell her about some relative becoming ill during her 2weeks off.... he genuinely had no idea she wasnt at work. She was still getting up and leaving everyday as she did when in work... oddball...

Also, when she came back into work, she had the raging hump with others in the office for telling her husband she wasnt there because of job sharing. Didnt talk to anyone unless vital for days...

Edited 3 November, 2017 by mac11irl

[Auric Goldfinger]

I'm after some advice, Mrs G retires in 3 week " What do I do then "  

[@Lee]

1 minute ago, Auric Goldfinger said:

I'm after some advice, Mrs G retires in 3 week " What do I do then "  

You're good at digging holes.
Put your experience to some use  
https://www.gov.uk/apply-allotment

[Auric Goldfinger]

1 minute ago, Lee01 said:

You're good at digging holes.
Put your experience to some use  
https://www.gov.uk/apply-allotment

 

Nice one    

[S00perb]

8 minutes ago, Auric Goldfinger said:

I'm after some advice, Mrs G retires in 3 week " What do I do then "  

Take up with a fancy woman

[@Lee]

55 minutes ago, S00perb said:

Take up with a fancy woman

Another one?

[Auric Goldfinger]

1 hour ago, S00perb said:

Take up with a fancy woman

 

16 minutes ago, Lee01 said:

Another one?

 

Errrrrr............I've had the one I've got for 34 years thank you, I couldn't manage another.

 

 

[camelspyyder]

Based on my early retirement experience; One of you must die. 

 

Kill yourself or kill her; Your choice, but only if you act first.

Edited 3 November, 2017 by camelspyyder

[S00perb]

3 hours ago, Auric Goldfinger said:

 

 

Errrrrr............I've had the one I've got for 34 years thank you, I couldn't manage another.

 

 

 

34 years!!! Hey, would you keep a car that long?

Personally I have a habit of keeping the cars longer than the women. But maybe  I have got that the wrong way round

[VWD]

On 11/3/2017 at 13:36, Auric Goldfinger said:

 

 

Errrrrr............I've had the one I've got for 34 years thank you, I couldn't manage another.

 

 

Lucky you - I got clobbered coming up for 47 years ago and still reeling ( they've got a nasty swing, those North Riding Lasses )

 

Build a "CAB" at the bottom of the garden . Install a length of CAT 5/6 and sit back on the PC. You could even try a 125 simulator

Edited 6 November, 2017 by VWD

[Ttaskmaster]

On 03/11/2017 at 19:03, Auric Goldfinger said:

 

I go out every morning at 9 ( Mrs G gone to work by then ) and get into a Open reach Van, the hours are much better, 3 days on and 30 off Rota Oh!..... and as much tea as I can drink  

Do me a favour and drive it down here - BT have been promising us high speed broadband for four years, now and not a thing has happened.

[VWD]

Forget it - it's high speed Tea today, BB comes later ( got to get priorities right you know )

[Aspman]

On 11/3/2017 at 19:14, Auric Goldfinger said:

I'm after some advice, Mrs G retires in 3 week " What do I do then "  

 

On 11/3/2017 at 19:16, Lee01 said:

You're good at digging holes.
Put your experience to some use  
https://www.gov.uk/apply-allotment

 

Some free advice -

 

• It's peroxide to remove stubborn DNA not bleach.
• Hemp rope rots, nylon doesn't
• Don't forget to scatter teeth like Jason and the Argonauts.

 

[edit]

 

Oh you meant THAT sort of digging. Forget I said anything.

Edited 7 November, 2017 by Aspman

[Ttaskmaster]

2 hours ago, Aspman said:

Don't forget to scatter teeth like Jason and the Argonauts.

That was King Aeëtes doing the scattering... and it didn't exactly work out too well for Jason's lot anyway.

Can you imagine doing that and the fright you'd get when the Children of the Hydra start popping up everywhere, complete with jerky Harryhausen movement!!