Paws4Thot

Really? How many does the Qayne sleep? Can you cook a meal in one?

Check the drains for the sunroof if fitted, front wing and doors on the LHS.

Yes he is, and entirely correctly AIUI.

I'd interpret that as "life of the anti-corrosive and additive packs in the coolant", about 5 years.

No. The EPC light can indicate any of a vast range of issues, from about £50 to £4_000, and we'd need the associated fault code(s) to know which.

I've changed the fuel filter, air filter, put snake oil and other snake oil through it without success.

Yes, and it's the same pump front and rear. Most likely you've blown a fuse or burnt out the motor.

In principle yes, but the wheel nut spanner in the boot should be sized to give you an acceptable approximation to the required torque.

Literally turning the ignition off and on again with the car still moving but declutched.

Nothing "new" here, except that it was running full-on H*11aflush. Sorry, but I couldn't get positioned for a picture.

Agreed with JR. Look for "Mr Muscle fix" in the Octavia guides forum.

Yes and no. Yes it will allow air to enter the fuel tank, but no it will not re-expand a collapsed tank.

No, you're looking at an unspecified fluid on your clutch pedal. Rub it off and see if it comes back. If it does, try and identify whether it's hydraulic fluid, water (possibly with antifreeze mix), engine oil or fuel. Oh and check whether or not the fluid levels in the brake/clutch reservoir and PAS reservoirs remain constant.

Critical point marked up in bold-face I think. You appear to be expecting VAG to deliver software that will just plug and play with non-VAG hardware.

This would be a one off to have happened, but the only time I saw this sort of wear on a front tyre the car had a failed front lower ball joint. So I'd suggest checking both front lower ball joints.

Based on @Breezy_Pete posting, I'm fairly sure that was low oil pressure.

56mm looks more like a size for a centre boss than for a wheel nut.

OK. Does the type approval plate for your car have a non-zero train weight?

The wheel size rather than the tyre size. This will be cast or stamped into the wheels.

Yes. Buy a new membrane instead of trying to bodge it with mastic.

It could, but it could be other things too, like a porous flexible section in the downpipe. Put your hand over the exhaust exit(s) and see if the engine keeps running. It it does, a porous flexi is more likely than a blocked PCV.

@Tojodrew - Ok, a lot to answer here, in the order you list stuff in:- 1) My first thought was that the gear linkage may need adjusting (aka re-aligning). 2) Your mate is correct; (balk ring) synchronisation is there primarily to make shifting into gear(s) easier. 3) I'm not sure how to explain the collets. 4) Clutch drag is also very much a thing. This tends to happen with the clutch cable stretching, the hydraulics needing bleeding or the hydraulic slave cylinder (at the gearbox end) needs replacing. Getting this diagnosed needs someone competent and with access to your car.

No idea beyond that it would bug the H*11 out of me too.

Do the brake lights work? If "no", the replace the brake light switch. If "yes, then, as @daftbugga you need fault codes reading.

That is not how lane enforce works.