sepulchrave

Judge for yourself: http://wiki.ross-tech.com/wiki/index.php/17989/P1581/005505 There really isn't much else it can be.

That's far too cheap for new, buy a secondhand genuine one, that cheap new one has obviously gone wrong already.

Bank 1 just means the engine, you only get a bank 2 on a Vee engine. There are plenty of cheap secondhand throttle bodies on eBay because they don't go wrong often, no need to buy new.

Try unplugging it completely, clear the codes and see if it runs better.

I dunno, I can hardly hear anything over the racket that camchain is making...

The battery doesn't sound like it was in very good condition, you should start by fully charging it or fitting a new one.

Delinte tyres are horribly cheap so it could have been a manufacturing defect that caused the delamination, you generally only see damage like that on under inflated tyres on cars with negative camber. I know the Monte Carlo is lowered as standard so I recommend you get a full tracker printout showing the suspension geometry accurately.

Ok, the thermostat is under the big cover between the battery and the engine, simply pull off the big cover which contains the air filter and look down in the gap and you'll see a black plastic housing bolted to the side of the engine, this contains the thermostat. Because these housings often leak it's best to replace the entire assembly with a new thermostat and gasket.

What engine?

I agree that the timing needs to be spot-on but it would run like a dog if it were out by enough to burn that much fuel, it's the MAF, I'm almost certain.

Yes but he's had it six months and it's been thirsty the entire time, the belt change is therefore incidental.

They were supposed to adapt the new battery, I'm surprised they didn't know this and let you go without doing it until you complained. Specialist indeed!

Replace the MAF, I guarantee it's shot.

Push the plug and socket together to release the tension on the clip momentarily while you press the release tang, then gently wiggle it off.

I've done it many times, the smart move is to cut the lead off the old sensor and to use a conventional deep 22mm socket to remove it but to only use the special slotted socket to refit the new one.

Throw them in the bin, they're completely worn out, they've lasted pretty well for a platinum plug but they've been in there about five years by the look of it!

What Grammar? 😄

The OE springs are excessively tempered making them fragile, also potholes.

Yes, swapping engines is easy if you have: Loads of experience. Loads of tools. Loads of indoor space. A four post lift. An engine crane. A complete donor car with the engine and gearbox, wiring loom, exhaust etc. all intact. Knock yourself out if you can tick all those boxes.

Almost certainly needs a new battery if it's the original unit.

Sounds like an injector is sticking open causing the revving and the pressure drop in the fuel rail, these engines eat injectors so I'd replace all four if they've never been done before.

The door lock issue is causing the boot issue.

It's to prevent purse snatching at the traffic lights, you have to open a door with a functional microswitch first.

No, it's inside the plenum but cycling the temperature between full cold and full heat will sometimes unstick it, sit in the car after driving home and put the blower on full and twist the knob one way, wait ten seconds then twist it the other way, do this until you can feel it getting better.

Hot air flap stuck on cold, try cycling it back and forth.