Personally happy mine makes none of these noises and I've tested it properly to check on a private road away from others. MY19 245 with GPF and i guess current euro 6 emissions spec. The noisy idiots car of choice round my way are non standard 135i or 140i great for a blast but not all the time and certainly not round a series of residential roads.

Having a manual gearbox i feel a little left out on this concern although my elderly sister in law is doing her level best to create a similar sound when sitting in the rear seat after a meal.....

Hate the fart noises on VAG cars. Utterly pointless.

21 minutes ago, Excision said:

Hate the fart noises on VAG cars. Utterly pointless.

You forgot to add CHILDISH.

1 hour ago, Excision said:

Hate the fart noises on VAG cars. Utterly pointless.

Well not pointless strictly speaking, it's a product of the ignition being retarded during the shift so it's not horrendously jerky. 

On ‎23‎/‎07‎/‎2019 at 17:58, Loopylil said:

Having a manual gearbox i feel a little left out on this concern although my elderly sister in law is doing her level best to create a similar sound when sitting in the rear seat after a meal.....

Perhaps suggest she picks mushy peas with her fish & chips rather the more combustible baked bean option.

My manual 245 makes a similar noise at full throttle in 1st when traction control kicks in and presumably retards the ignition.