Chuckle in Your Day

[MikeTheThinker]

[SteveTheElder]

Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?

Farmer: which one, black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: 2 litres per day.

Interviewer : Where do they sleep?

Farmer: The Black one or the White one?

Interviewer: The black one

Farmer : In the Barn

Interviewer: And the White one?

Farmer: In the Barn

Interviewer: Your cows look healthy...   What do you feed them?

Farmer: which one, the black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: (Annoyed😤) but why do you keep on asking if the black one or the white one when your answers are just the same??

Farmer: Because the black one is mine.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: Its also mine.

[MikeTheThinker]

Rather than 'hold my my beer' I think this should be 'hold my milk' ...

 

 

[MikeTheThinker]

[MikeTheThinker]

[@Lee]

It contains a swear so if you're sensitive don't look. From Viz a few years ago.

Spoiler

 

 

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

 

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

 

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

 

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

 

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

 

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

 

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

 

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

 

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

 

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Edited 17 October, 2022 by @Lee

[J.R.]

I'm not sensitive although I don't like the gratuitous use of that word but that cartoon had me in stitches.

 

How I miss Viz!

[MikeTheThinker]

US Federal emergency response services have invested in a new 'first on site' response vehicle to support the deployed officers ...

 

 

[pinkpanther]

 

[@Lee]

Will she even last long enough for Harry Cole's book to come out on 8th of December 🤔

My money's on the lettuce lasting longer🤣

[KenONeill]

11 minutes ago, @Lee said:

Will she even last long enough for Harry Cole's book to come out on 8th of December 🤔

My money's on the lettuce lasting longer🤣

And that's even if she's hiding in a fridge!

[@Lee]

[MikeTheThinker]

[MikeTheThinker]

[MikeTheThinker]

[AnnoyingPentium]

I'm glad this thread is about, been needing it today.

[SteveTheElder]

53 minutes ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

I'm glad this thread is about, been needing it today.

Oooo... sounds like it's been one of those days...

 

Hope you're back to your usual cheery self very soon!

 

Did you hear the one about...

        ...Damn, I forgot the punchline 😂

[AnnoyingPentium]

13 minutes ago, sneal said:

Oooo... sounds like it's been one of those days...

 

Hope you're back to your usual cheery self very soon!

 

Cheers man! Definitely been one of those days, but tomorrow is a fresh slate and all that.

[Lady Elanore]

 

 

[@Lee]

[Lady Elanore]

^^^ We need a "I don't know whether to laugh or cry" reaction emoji. 

[@Lee]

2 minutes ago, Lady Elanore said:

^^^ We need a "I don't know whether to laugh or cry" reaction emoji. 

I basically surviving on humour, satire and Buscopan 😆

 

[nige8021]

 

[pinkpanther]

[pinkpanther]